The Adventures of Beatle

Considering a somewhat acceptable rating of 5.4/10 and how absolutely awful and embarrassment of a movie this is to everyone involved, I can only come to the conclusion that the higher ratings were from either people directly involved or people that were paid to fix the rating (their are legitamite businesses that specialises in that).

I don't know what got somewhat respectable actors like Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Orlando Jones and Tony Shalhoub to appear in this tired crapfest, and based on their performances (which are their worst of their careers by far) I can only suspect that they were dared into making appearances in it or something.

The reason I gave it a 2 instead of a 1 is because I have to be honest, I stopped watching halfway through, there was literally nothing that was remotely interesting. Not even the terribly constructed cheesy lesbian sex-scenes (which starts already by the startcredits of the film) could keep my interest.

Oh yeah the movie was filmed 10 years ago, but no company wanted to release it. Then Jeffrey Dean Morgan got signed on for a role on the biggest TV show on earth THE WALKING DEAD, and what do you know all of a sudden there was interest enough to release it and so it was in the last week of 2015. But he's not the lead for the record and again, truly terrible.

Beware of writer/directors. Makes you wonder how people get finance. But that's the movie business, folks!

The title is a total misnomer although the original title, The Adventures of Beatle, is no better. There's no action, just some gratuitous lesbian sex and torture scenes, although not at the same time.

The disjointed 'story/plot' is told in flashback and, yes, you might want to know how the characters and their relationship pan out but you'll never know. There is a very subtle hint (although it could go either way) at the end but you'll have probably walked out or switched off before you get that far.

Although if you do stay the course - brave soul - you won't see the ending coming - it's so far left field - but it does nothing to bring any of the story threads to a conclusion.

IMDb's current 5+ score is generously high.

This movie is like a long episode of one of your average 90's tv shows. Maybe Sunset Beach or any of those dussin for a dine shows. It's all sjot in a studio with bad lighting and it's a mystery to me that the movie could gather up any kind of budget. The actors are flat. The one sticking out to me though , is JDM who shows some of the qualities we see in n Negan.

I'll never know whether the story was interesting because I couldn't get past the pacing of the dialog: it's as though the actors were just taking turns saying words aloud, with an interminable beat between each turn.

Obviously a number of the actors and actresses went on to better gigs and enjoy successful careers, but this wasn't fun.

I'll never know whether the story was interesting because I couldn't get past the pacing of the dialog: it's as though the actors were just taking turns saying words aloud, with an interminable beat between each turn.

Obviously a number of the actors and actresses went on to better gigs and enjoy successful careers, but this wasn't fun.

Review: What a boring, uninteresting movie! The movie seemed cheap and the storyline was awful. With a title like, Guns For Hire, I was expecting some form of action, especially as Jeffrey Dean Morgan is holding a gun on the cover but there's no action at all. Its about a suicidal blonde, Athena (Ever Carradine), who hires a tow truck driver/assassin, Beatle (Michele Hicks) to kill her. As Athena has no money, she signs over an insurance policy to Beatle, which will pay for the assassination. While there waiting for the paperwork to come through, Athena moves in with Beatle and they start to become close, even though the situation is slightly warped. Beatle regularly sees a psychiatrist, Dr. Vanderark (Orlando Jones), who thinks that her whole assassin story is in her mind and she has a strange relationship with a hooker/stripper, Carla (Sarah Shahi), who actually has feelings for her. They also have a brutal hit-man on there tail, Bruce (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), who is hired by Athena's crooked previous employer, Kyle (Ben Mendelsohn). On top of that, Detective Holt, Raffaello Degruttola is following Athena and Beatles every move and he builds a case to try and stop Beatle in her tracks. Sounds exciting but it really wasn't. Most of the footage is about Athena and Beatles relationship, which is quite boring but the major twist at the end was surprising. I personally did lose interest after a while and the acting was quite bad from the two leading characters. I was expecting more from Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Ben Mendelsohn, who usually put in decent performances but the awful script didn't bring the best out of them. I couldn't really see the comedy side of the movie because there wasn't any wit in the script at all but I did stick with the plot because I really couldn't see were the film was going. When all was revealed I still wasn't that impressed so it has to get the thumbs down from me. Disappointing! 

Round-Up: This is the first and only movie directed and written by Donna Robinson, who really didn't do a good job with this film. There's a few unnecessary lesbian scenes and there wasn't much depth to any of the characters, which made if feel like this movie was made without much thought. There were some good actors on board, who really got wasted because of the awful storyline, so it has to go down as a bad day at the office.

I recommend this movie to people who are into their drama/thriller/comedies starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Ben Mendelsohn, Tony Shalhoub, Orlando Jones, Ever Carradine, Michele Hicks, Sarah Shahi and Ivvana Milicevic. 2/10