Freaky Tales

These are the tales of four strangers whose lives were unknowingly intertwined and changed on a freaky night in Oakland in 1987 when NBA history was made.

This movie is hard to describe or even summarize without spoiling it. The story is told through four chapters, each from the perspective of one of the four individuals. The movie has violence, drama, cameos, and a smidge of history. The story becomes clearer over the one-hour and forty-six-minute runtime, but it is a wild ride throughout. It is an interesting and unique watch, especially when going blind. Stream it when available, if you are intrigued.

I can see why the reviews on this movie are mixed. It is a bit disjointed and has some gaps in the story. As an East Bay native who got into the punk scene around when the first chapter is set, I know this is based on real life events. The punk rockers running the nazi skinheads away from their club/community space, 100% happened. Creepy cops harassing young POC women, that happened (undoubtedly still does). I got a cassette tape of Too $hort's 'Freaky Tales' when I was 12 years old, and when my mom heard half a verse in that song she destroyed that cassette. This is a fictional version of Bay Area realness. Nothing but love for the Bay.

There is a ton of 80's nostalgia in horror and film overall these days, some might even say to a point of over-saturation. That's fair, I mean it is a trend and I'm chill about it because I enjoy the aesthetic a lot, but there's a difference between cheaply aping an 80's vibe just for likes and actually earning it through authenticity, innovation and genuine enthusiasm. Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck actually *earn* that 80's flavour with Freaky Tales, an absolute blast of deftly written anthology that carefully straddles the line between action with just a touch of horror. It's 1987 in Oakland, a time and place that obviously means a great deal to these filmmakers as they tell several initially disparate tales that, in true anthology fashion, inevitably weave together like a mosaic in the final vignette. A gaggle of punk music friends battle some nasty Neo-Nazi skinheads who keep crashing their parties, a mob enforcer (Pedro Pascal) learns some moral lessons the hard way and a scummy, corrupt vice detective (Ben Mendelsohnn) runs afoul of a vengeful NBA player (Jay Ellis). These stories are interwoven pretty ingeniously and supported by some raucous soundtrack choices, super gory violence, hectic stylistics and great performances, especially from the lovably diabolical Mendelsohnn, who is chewing scenery like Smaug the Dragon here. Oh! There's also a cameo from Tom Hanks, of all people, who is only in it for about five minutes playing the motor mouthed owner of a boutique video store, but his reference heavy, snappy dialogue is the best work he's done in like a decade, or at least since Cloud Atlas. Great film.

The opening episodes are tired clichés that nearly put me to sleep. The background becomes the main source of narrative, while the flashy, hyperactive style induces genuine yawns. The only interesting segment features Pedro Pascal - everything else is bland, tedious chaos. The film can't focus on anything, trying to be everything for everyone and ending up as nothing. It's a hollow citation of 1980s cinema - all pop, no substance. Good luck falling for this "love letter" to the era. If you want actual storytelling, look elsewhere.

First 40 minutes? Chewed-up tropes: punks vs neo-Nazis, rappers vs the system, blah-blah-blah... The neon aesthetic and soundtrack are just crutches for narrative lameness. Only Pascal's revenge storyline breaks through - mercifully free of postmodern smirk.

No depth. No originality. Just soulless set dressing - style as empty calories. Every episode is vapid posturing without compelling characters or drama. Essentially - a kaleidoscope of colorful shards with zero meaning. Pascal's classical vengeance arc works precisely because it's not another "experiment". This isn't homage - it's nostalgia plagiarism without vision. At festivals it might pass as "bold"; at home it's reheated leftovers. Without Pascal, this mess would vanish among a thousand forgettable flicks. Visual fast food - strip away the 80s neon and synthwave, and you're left with... nothing.

Now you might argue: "Don't all genre films rely on clichés?" "Isn't 80s nostalgia the whole point?" "What if chaos IS the intention?" "Maybe you're obsessing over Pascal?"

Sure! And you're right! But for real 80s kicks, I'll rewatch:

• RoboCop ('87)
• Die Hard ('88)
• Pulp Fiction ('94)
• The Terminator ('84)

...while this one's already fading from memory.

Freaky Tales is like neon wall art: bright but disposable. Hang it up to flex your taste, but stare too long and you'll spot the emptiness.

The filmmakers couldn't decide between parody, drama, or straight action - so we get a lukewarm reference salad. Pascal's the only frame-worthy element. The rest? Pulp fiction in every bad sense.

This movie is basically what you would get if you asked an A. I. social media algorithm to make a movie about 1987.

Nothing makes sense. There's no plot, obviously no research was done into any of the content, character development is non existent, its initial vehicle seems to be racial rage bait disguised as some elementary form of political commentary that comes off like a teenager being interviewed at a pot rally.

But seriously though, how old were the people who came up with this nonsense? It's pretty apparent they were never around in 1987, never mind California.

This could have been a 20 second Tik Tok video.