Snow White: A Deadly Summer

An absolute abomination. Shot like a porno with all the sex removed. It got off to a bad start as once shot of a staircase started to drift off to the side as though the camera man had nodded off for a split second. This film tries to do a little modern day twist on Snow White, with a 'troubled' young girl sent off to camp by her wicked stepmother. She is soon having hallucinations and murders take place. The epic scale of the awfulness is worth the two stars as it did entertain. Watch Eric "I was in The Dark Knight 4 years ago" Roberts try and hide his shame. I'm pretty sure he agreed to be in the film but wasn't paid to act. Like hiring a hooker to wait tables. "You can have my face and my name, but the acting will be a little extra". The director decided not to take him up on this offer. Maureen McCormick of Brady Bunch fame is the evil stepmother who appears to have taken some Giblin Formula as she talks to herself in mirrors. All the nighttime scenes are actually shot during the day which leaves them looking bright and blue. The costumes involve black T-shirts and jeans, which the script tries to pass off as the camp uniform, but when the sheriff arrives with nothing to set him apart other than a plastic badge clipped to his belt, you realise that the actors are probably supplying their own clothes. Heck, the casting call probably stated as much. The film drags itself to feature length, with an end that makes such little sense it was like the punchline to a huge practical joke. Brilliantly awful and should be enjoyed with many beers and a few close friends.

Well I heard Maureen McCormick hasn't been in too many films in a long time, so I was surprised to see her in this one! And Eric Roberts, wow I guess he will take any acting job. This is a crappy movie, I cannot think of one good thing to say about it except some of the sexy girls. The story stinks, the action is boring, the plot is bad, absolutely no craft went into making this movie. It was just a movie for the sake of making a movie. There is not suspense or entertainment value, I did watch the whole movie but I could have turned it off at almost any point and not cared! The story and the characters were just not interesting in any way to get you to care anything about them or what happens in the movie. This is about as bad as a movie can be!

Don't ever watch this movie. EVER!! You know how there are some movies that have all of the best actors thrown together in one amazing movie?? Well this movie is the complete opposite. It has the worst actors, camera man, and script not to mention the obviously low budget. The night scenes were filmed during the day with a filter, and they kept showing the same cloud every 10 minutes. They hid a dead body on a bench out in the open and just threw a freakin tarp on her with her shoes sticking out. Oh and the girl died by getting choked by her necklace and when it shows her body there are no marks around her neck. Oh and a woman falls off of a cliff, you hear her hit the ground, and then all of a sudden her hand reaches back up. Nothing about this movie was realistic. On top of that this movie had absolutely nothing to do with snow white at all. It was just ridiculously horrible. I would rather watch paid programming for erectile dysfunction all day than this crap!

There are bad directors (the kind that squander a Big budget, deliver a smelly turd, and are never heard from again), and then there are Bad Directors!!! (who can deliver a finished product for a couple thousand which, regardless of quality, will turn a profit, and who have more work waiting for them than they can possibly handle). I'm pretty worshipful of the latter. William Beaudine. Roger Corman. Ed Wood. Doris Wishman. And undisputed King of the current crop of Bad Directors!!!, the Schlockmaster General, Mr. David DeCoteau. Remember that name. not because I expect you to worship Bad Cinema as I do - quite the opposite - because so many of you expect some kinda guarantee of being at least a little bit entertained when you invest 90 minutes of your life in a movie. When you see D.D.C.'s name attached to one, that Ain't Gonna Happen (when you're done reading this, zip thru the pages of 1-star-or-less user reviews for this one if you need further evidence). Some Fun Facts about D.D.C: He's Very Gay (me too, so no judgment is intended), and has frequently worked under female pseudonyms; while he's never made an overtly gay film, his specialty area is in the copious display of the H-O-T male form - mostly in tighty whiteys (type '1313' into the search engine for an impressive list of some but not all of his tighty whitey epics) - I once emailed him, offering to pay him $10/hr to work in his casting office - no response; there is always Someone You've Hear Of in his casts, generally wayyy past their marketability (McCormick and Roberts get the honors in this one),and they're always awful (he once actually got Christopher Plummer to sign on - if I ever hear a good story about that one, I'll share it); and what I said earlier about the low-budget hacks having no shortage of work....it's 2013 now - he's made around 30 movies since 2010!! So remember....Corman received an honorary Oscar. Wood is a major cult figure. So there IS some glory to making BAD movies, just as there's Great Fun to be had watching them. Just so long as you know what you're getting into.

Wow, this was quite possibly the worst movie ever made!! NOTHING about it was worth watching - nothing! The acting was not just bad, but it was SO BAD that I was actually embarrassed for the actors! The girl who played "Snow" & Eric Roberts were OK (hard to tell because the script was so bad!) but Marcia Brady was horrible, and so was everyone else! Honestly, I can't believe $$$ was wasted making this! Even a 12 yr old would find it cheesy and grade B. The night scenes were still light (I think they may have put a blue lens over camera at best) - that's how bad this was. I'm pretty sure a 6th grader could have made a more realistic movie.

It gets a D bordering on an F from me! Please don't waste 2 hrs of your life on this, really!!!