Chastity Bites

The opening scene immediately imparts the tone of the film, pointedly satirizing conservative sociopolitical values and jarring the viewer with a spray of blood. While the high school setting of the feature lends it a certain awkward air some viewers may not take a liking to, 'Chastity bites' is consistently smart and entertaining on its level.

The film is less of a bloody romp than it is a snappy mystery laden with teenage drama, but it's aptly fun and engaging. The fast pace of the narrative flow can be waved off with consideration that it's clearly geared toward a young audience, a bent echoed in the soundtrack and dialogue. Despite that youthful glow, solid film-making should mark the movie enjoyable for most.

The cast, above all, is really great. Allison Scagliotti is sharp and endearing as protagonist Leah, a forward-thinking leftist student journalist who alone is deeply skeptical of the activities at her school. Young Scagliotti has proven herself time and again in roles comedic, action-oriented, and dynamic, and she portrays Leah's determination and wit with the practiced skill of a great talent. Prominent opposite her starring role is Louise Griffiths as antagonist Liz Batho, bearing a cold, dark, but entrancing poise befitting such a calculating (fictionalized) historical figure. Yet the supporting cast, in considerably smaller roles, are just as swell, including Francia Raisa as Leah's best friend Katharine, and Eddy Rioseco as love interest Paul. Even Diana Chiritescu, given few speaking lines as Batho's servant Ilona, is pretty outstanding, and Amy Okuda brings the same spark of derisive smarm to high school queen bee Ashley, here, as she gave Tinkerballa in Felicia Day's ground-breaking web series, 'The guild.'

Costume design, wardrobe, hair and makeup, filming locations, set design and decoration, and art direction are far greater than we would usually expect from a film of this tenor. Even for as little as fight choreography plays into the production, it's highly enjoyable; likewise for special effects. Somewhat stereotypical as the soundtrack is for a movies aimed at younger audiences, it's still a small treat for our ears.

While the direction isn't particularly remarkable, the writing is thoughtful and intelligent. From jabbing at rightwing nonsense to playfully intoning progressive ideals; from catty teen sniping to cheeky one-liners and friendly cajoling - the dialogue is keen and entertaining. The narrative, if uncomplicated, is written well - coherent, engrossing, and whole. There's not a great deal of depth to most of the characters, but the assembled cast inhabits their roles so capably, and believably, as to inject more personality than we're led to think they had on paper.

Truthfully, I had low expectations going in; I gather a sense that 'Chastity bites' hasn't been well-received in the grand scheme of things. But I should know better by now - I've seen enough movies dismissed by others, that I've greatly enjoyed, that counting out a feature before I see it for myself is a mistake. I think this is really well made, and simply fun.

I won't pretend it's perfect, because it's not. Admittedly the premise portends more visceral content than what we actually get. Any viewer who isn't receptive to more lighthearted, feel-good fare should probably look elsewhere. Yet the film, as it is, doesn't ever actually pretend to be anything it's not. If a little cheesy, 'Chastity bites' is a solidly crafted picture, and worth watching if you come across it.

It's not very often a film takes you by surprise without resorting to clichés and wasted potential when there's so much or little to follow. Most films these days that attempt to pay homage by 'spoofing' or other forms of respect aren't always executed properly. But in this case, Chastity Bites attempts something different at its best but still has some hiccups that prevents it from being the most ingenious out of the many creations that either feels rehashed or incomplete.

The story follows a writer named Leah that becomes suspicious of a newly profound abstinence educator that schemes an army of virgins to please her vicious desires to collect blood to contain her youth. Of course convincing the entire school would be harder than assassinating an immortal masked murderer, but this doesn't seem like a heavy situation as Leah decides to take matters into her own hands to save her companion in time before she too is slaughtered like other unfortunate victims in their prime.

The film is assembled with a cast that does all of their parts well but also suffers from having some that feel either very unused or simply there to suffer their demise. If we spent more time with some of the characters and the film had taken a darker turn where it felt less like an outdated sitcom, perhaps it would have succeeded more where other films with a similar premise didn't. However, complete credibility for effort to everyone and what it tried is surely due and this film can still be considerably an enjoyable presentation if you can extract the lack of tension and some goofy elements that some may find very distracting.

For that, let's enjoy this cup of virgin blood that tastes a little like water for what it's worth and not less of what it could have been.

Yeah, you read that heading correctly, one of the main leads has ink penned flower pedals drawn on her pimples on her face. Not just one either, but all over like toppings on a pizza. Wtf... This is just another bad cookie cutter character really just pushing political BS down your throat easily forgotten really just wish had never been made garbage movie. Skip it.

A fun little movie that can - or is up for it (no pun intended). There is a lot of humor here and that is always in the eye of the beholder. And you can clearly see where the movie is heading. So no points for guessing things right.

But if you have a heart for horror comedies that have a low budget ... and poke fun at cliches too. While using some of them of course ... still you could do worse and the acting is ok overall ... again, predictable but fun.

Poor Allison Scagliotti, she can actually act and gets handed a horrible script like that. Still, she made the film watchable, if not for the fact that she brought her A-Game to it, then just because she's simply dripping in fun, watchable, charisma.

Unfortunately, that's not enough to save it. Most all the other actors were as flat as Illinois.

What should have been a fun cliche movie was just hampered by a bad cast, horrible political diatribes that were supposed to be character development but just came across as extremely dated after only 6 years, and jokes that either didn't land because of the delivery or simply weren't funny to begin with.

But...if you are an Allison Scagliotti fan, it's worth the watch if for no reason than to pray that she lands better roles.