- Farley: The police are here, and they're saying you bought alcohol for minors.
- Martin, John, Ben: [cuts the police waiting outside the store] Oh no.
- Farley: Yeah, that's a crime.
- Martin: In Europe, the drinking age is like ten.
- John: They could have been European.
- Farley: What made you think they were European?
- Martin: They had a certain je ne sais quoi.
- Martin: Yeah.
- Ben: I think one of them was eating pain au chocolat.
- Farley: I think you're just seeing the glass as not having enough water in it, as opposed to having more than an adequate amount of water.
- John: This is Lawrence. He was so much more than just a voice Martin would do when he was drunk. He was fearless. Like when the dean tried to shut down our party, Lawrence beat his ass. And when my professor tried to fail me, Lawrence beat his ass. And when a lunch lady banned him from the cafeteria, he dated her for three beautiful months, until her husband found out. And then he beat his ass. And when Martin met Amy, he vowed to never become Lawrence again.