The Last Heist

THE LAST HEIST is the kind of film I thought - and hoped - they'd stopped making a decade or so ago. You know the type, sub-Guy Ritchie fare with diamond geezers trading banter around the mean streets of south London. This one's advertised as a robbery flick with the bad guys wearing Donald Trump masks, but in fact 90% of it is set in a boring bar backdrop where the quartet of male characters swap dialogue and try to be both funny and cool. Sadly, they're not; the script is puerile, the humour forced and unnatural, and the acting straight out of drama school. Perry Benson is one of the familiar faces appearing here, and by this stage in his career, he should really know better.

Such witty dialogue... no not really... absolute garbage. The acting is horrible too - terrible actors passing round a baton of poorly delivered, cliched lines.

How long would it take a group of monkeys to write the entire work of Shakespeare? A very long time. However, I think they could probably produce a script for The Last Heist in a couple of hours by flinging excrement at a keyboard.

There is the usual collection of 10/10 reviews, and I'm not surprised - Think The Godfather meets The Dark Knight with a bit of Pulp Fiction sprinkled on top.

There is one part that's real cinematic magic,,,

My stars are for Terry Stone, Daniel O'Donnell and Sam Gittens. Great acting and some good giggles from their performances. Liked the eternal barmaid Deana, she's an angel. Other female roles all a bit shallow. Michael Head, no, didn't believe his character at all, why Slips? Absolute shame about the script and flimsy storyline. The great twist, when it came, was not any surprise to me and others viewing with me. Dragged on painfully long and was ridiculously sentimental and soppy. F word count was abandoned after 39 in about 20 minutes. Didn't even start with the C one. Any chance of refund please? Feel like was robbed of time i can't get back.

What a great film action from the start, Loved the twist.

With twists in film some can go wrong or right & can be risky but this was a good one & would highly recommend this film to anyone Terry stone Danny O'Reilly & the lads smashed it.

P. S Anymore films in the up coming year or two I'd definitely go watch.

For The story behind this i would be good to do a film now as a before on what life was like for them. As i believe there's 2 films to be made from this one.

The first heist could be the next film. I would & i believe others would like it also.

I just can't wait for the next one lads.

I dunno know where to start if I'm honest.

One positive: there's some good acting from Terry Stone and Perry Benson, as always, but Sam Gittins and Daniel O'Reily (Dapper Laughs) really carry the whole thing. If it weren't for Dapper, I'd've turned this off after 10mins. I was surprised at what a great comedy actor he is and there's some real laugh out loud moments, which is quite incredible, considering how shocking bad the script is. All other acting is wooden, disconnected and inauthentic. GCSE drama springs to mind.

But yeah, the script is by far the worst thing about this film. There are so many swear words, it stops being funny and becomes embarrassing. The narrative is difficult to follow at times because there is so much waffle and extraneous information. It's also not clear what era we're in. The attitudes of the men towards women and the existence of East End gangsters indicates it should be 70s, but they wear Trump masks for the robbery... so, this is supposed to be modern day? Weird.

They've also publicised this film as being based on real people, but we don't know who these people are so lord knows why that's relevant. Either way, none of the characters are endearing or admirable. I'm not sure if I was supposed to like these people, be impressed by them, feel sorry for them or loathe them but I'm leaning towards the latter.

Basically, it feels like a load of geezers with some pocket money romanticised what they wish their lives were like if they were hard nut gangsters and this is the result. Don't waste your time or money on it.