Haunted High

Generally I hate SyFy movies with a passion. Haunted High is thankfully not one of their worst, the zombie frog sequence is fun if all too brief, Shawn C.Phillips and Lauren Pennington are likable and while Danny Trejo deserved much better he does what he can. On the other hand, a lot of the film was lame. The rest of the acting is bland, but there is no wonder when their material was as under-par as it was. I had a feeling that the characters would be stereotypes as they always are when it comes to SyFy, I wasn't necessarily put off by that. It was that few of them were memorable or had any spark to them. They were further disadvantaged by some embarrassingly stilted dialogue that never rings true and by a story that manages to be both predictable and dull with no chills or suspense and the attacks and ending were too contrived to be believable. The music is also repetitive, while Haunted High is also very cheap to look at with very choppy editing and while the effects have been worse before in SyFy movies they are substandard here at best. So in conclusion, a lame movie but at the same time it could've been much worse. 4/10 Bethany Cox

I had expected a low-budget made-for-TV SyFy feature, this is why I'll generously award this campy feature 3 stars. One simply cannot watch a movie like this and expect a high quality production, however viewers deserve to not face-palm themselves every 4 minutes.

"Low budget", as most of us cinemaphiles know, is not a valid excuse for bad writing, bad acting, and... bad everything.

The plot is like cheap fishnet stockings... covered with holes, transparent, and weak. Sadly, not as attractive. Some of the scenes are so illogical it's frustrating.

A better screenplay, set and directing would have lent this mess some respectability because the concept itself is very intriguing. It's a good idea with potential, gone wrong.

There are some unique kills, and I wasn't really distracted by overly bad CGI like in some comparable productions. I was too distracted by poorer qualities, I suppose.

The dialog is so bad, it exceeds description. The bad puns tossed out by our antagonist before each kill were insufferable. Even if they were aiming to be campy, it still failed.

I've seen better acting at middle school Thanksgiving pageants. The worst performance (arguably) was offered by Shawn C. Philips. He's no stranger to the horror genre. Perhaps he just did the best he could with the material he had? It's all terrible waste of several proved talents. Please do not judge the actors exclusively by this feature if you happen to be unfamiliar with their other work.

If you're a fan of other Sy-Fy channel movies and are prepared for their usual shortcomings, you may not be disappointed. Admittedly, this is not their worst work nor their best.

High school senior Jonathan Baron (as Quentin Smith) agrees to help a history teacher in the boiler room. They drop some mystical gold coins Mr. Baron inherited from his grandfather, which causes the old man's spirit to appear. Ghostly grandfather M.C. Gainey (as Lionel Danforth) causes earthquakes in the New England private school. Baron's girlfriend Lauren Pennington (as Whitney Douglas) starts seeing things. People get slaughtered - in very violent ways. Wizened janitor Danny Trejo (as Ortiz) joins the students in battling Mr. Gainey...

In featured roles, thin Marc Donato (as Colt) and thick Shawn Phillips (as Blake) overextend their years in high school. Sexy librarian Charisma Carpenter is seen briefly. The opening credit sequence is a highlight, but the accompanying song - a re-write of Chuck Berry's "No Particular Place to Go" - could stir the rock 'n' roll star's once protective lawyers into action. The special effects aren't too bad, for this sort of thing. However, the TV Movie earns a failing grade as director Jeffery Scott Lando and his crew can't turn the effects into an engaging story.

*** Haunted High (8/25/12) Jeffery Scott Lando ~ Jonathan Baron, Lauren Pennington, M.C. Gainey, Danny Trejo

The demonic ghost of a long-dead school headmaster, along with his equally dead, but considerably more attractive, wife haunt a high school after a teacher dares to steal a gold coin owned by the ghost's grandson. Starring Danny Trejo as the janitor seeking his dead love,Justified's MC Gainey as the pun-afflicted demon, and the prolific Shawn C. Phillips as the token fat kid.

As to offer a counterpoint to the other reviews, I didn't find this to be a bad SyFy film, much less 'the worst' and actually found it no be a nice change of pace to the recent crop of 'nature run amok' offerings that they've been airing as of late. The acting is all right for a film of its ilk and the film was a bit of fun, although granted, the groan worthy puns by the ghost are pretty bad.

Haunted High is an unremarkable exercise in hack work that got 2 stars only because of the all too brief "zombie frog" sequence. M.C. Gainey as a released spirit of a evil cult leader comes across as a poor man's Stacey Keach spouting off pre death puns so bad that Freddy Kreuger wouldn't touch them. The CGI isn't as bad as say Piranhaconda but it isn't any better than an old episode of Goosebumps either and Goosebumps is scarier. The bare bones plot of teens and teachers locked in school with demonic forces is purely a Chinese menu type of affair. Take one tired cliché from collum A and 3 bad scenarios from collum B. As for kills the majority of them take place off screen followed by a gush of blood on the nearby wall. Shawn C. Phillips is the most believable person in the cast so that says something right there. Danny Trejo is the stereotyped Hispanic love sick janitor but his good guy roles aren't nearly as convincing as his bad as roles and this is nowhere as entertaining as Machete. Rent that instead. The bottom line is as long as there are masochists that stay home on Saturday nights to watch this crapola and as long as there are sponsors willing to jump on board SyFy is gonna keep churning out the cinematic equivalent to Montezuma's Revenge.If you must watch it do what I did and fast forward through about half.