Storage 24

The DVD case that is.

OK, expecting a masterpiece of claustrophobic stalk and slash horror with this one is as daft as some of the dialogue is in the actual film. It is after all a low budget, low grade British clone of many many other films of similar formulaic ilk. But that said, you have to have some standards and a point when you stand up and say it's just not good enough to blame costs and accept poorness because of a willingness to be indie cool.

Storage 24 is a bad film, yes there is a good portion of gore for those inclined, the creature design is decent and the inner conflict in the group (boy/girl romantic triangle trouble wouldn't you know) at least keeps character interest from sinking to the depths of us not caring right away. But the screenplay meanders all too often, boorish chatter and emoting only serving to make you prey the creature turns up post haste. Jolts are telegraphed, as are the switching sympathies with the lead protagonists. Acting is poor, except maybe Ned Dennehy, who is playing a bonkers hermit smelly bloke and enjoys himself, and Noel Clarke as the hero in waiting dude scurrying around trying to save the day.

Clarke also produces, while Johannes Roberts directs, Clarke (Adulthood/Kidulthood) is much better than this, as is Roberts (F), but the pair are just saying we have watched Super 8 and Alien and feel like turning one out ourselves. That says there is no pretensions here, but it is also lazy film making. The explosive finale comes laced with tongue firmly in cheek, but nothing previously warrants this being tagged as a hip and funny horror/comedy, tried it has, but Severance it isn't. It's the inconsistencies that coupled with the standard formula make Storage 24 a weak film that's difficult to recommend to anyone but the type of horror fan that keeps watching all those Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday 13th sequels...and loving them. 4/10

We all know that Alien was 'the daddy' when it comes to these sorts of 'monster-munching' movies. You have your alien/mutant/werewolf/whatever, chasing around a load of humans who are trapped in a spaceship/laboratory/missile silo/whatever, until the humans are suitably depleted enough to luckily beat the beast.

Storage 24 conforms to this template. My question: so what? I read once on the internet, when someone was comparing George Lucas' (commercially unsuccessful) 'Willow' to the (critically-acclaimed and money-spinning) Lord of the Rings franchise, they said: Obviously Lord of the Rings is a better film, but is it fun? Storage 24 is not a classic film. But, in my opinion, it IS fun.

It never takes itself too seriously. The characters are just about well-formed enough to be enjoyable and the monster is suitably horrible. Therefore, it pretty much has everything you can want when you're picking a monster-munching movie to eat popcorn to.

If you want something deep, classy and serious - go elsewhere. Suspend your disbelief... and enjoy.

NOTE: if there was an Oscar for 'best use of yapping dog toy,' Storage 24 would win hands down. And probably again the next year, too.

Lots of people get trapped in a building, with an alien beast on the loose. One of them has just broken up with his girlfriend. She's also stuck in there, along with the guy's best friend, who she was having an affair with. TENSION!! There's also an eccentric gentleman in an ugly dressing gown who might as well be followed by a huge neon sign which says COMEDY RELIEF, A gruff engineer trying to fix the strange power cuts which have been going on and off all day (guess what happens to him) and some others who can charitably be described as 'cannon fodder'.

Basically, this is a creature feature, the sort they've made for donkeys years... albeit a British one. The chases down narrow tunnels, the sight of disembodied limbs and torsos scattered about, even the fiend itself... are 'borrowed' from a million other movies... most specifically, a certain series starring Sigourney Weaver. This doesn't make it a bad film per se, but it's not one to fire up the imagination in any way (HEY THAT RHYMES!!). It provides a few cheap thrills, but you probably won't recall it a week from now. Or indeed, the next time you go to the bathroom. 5/10

After a plane crash in central London, a group in a storage containment facility find themselves trapped inside with the vicious alien creature released during the crash and must try to fight if off in order to get out alive.

This turned out to be a rather decent enough creature feature. One of the more enduring elements to this one is the fact that there's a refreshing simplicity to how it plays out, as the film's basically a one-note plot that really goes on through the notes quite efficiently and effectively to where it becomes routine more than anything about what goes on It consistently turns into confrontation, escape, confrontation, escape which is plenty of fun due to the tight, cramped location to work with the rather convoluted layout of the area and the continuous encounters where the creature chases them through heating ducts, storage units and throughout the building itself that the scenes make for a rather creepy and exciting set of action. The fact that the alien creature here is quite imposing is where it really helps score a little extra as well because the otherworldly appearance, as the spiked mouth, tentacled fingers and humanoid body create a powerful enough figure without seeing too much of it to lessen it's visual appeal as the creature really helps generate a lot of good marks during the film as the repetitive, action-packed nature of the film results in a creepy monster stalking and attacking people trapped in a creepy location, only to escape and run into it later on so there's a sense of familiarity to this as it goes on which can lower this somewhat. As well, the film's blatant disregard for information-revealing is a bit of a problem as it tends to keep so many ideas and plot-points completely unknown to the viewer about the alien creature, what happened to it and the fates of several characters, and about the only plot-point to this that doesn't work is the long build-up here that results in some painful amount of time not going anywhere due to the aggravation of the animosity towards each other. Otherwise, this is a fine effort.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

Storage 24 (2012)

** (out of 4)

A plane crashes in downtown London, which causes a mandatory lock-down. A group of people are trapped inside a storage building and soon enough a killer alien is in there with them. STORAGE 24 borrows from countless science-fiction movies and it's basically just ALIEN inside a storage unit. There are a couple good things along the way including an interesting looking monster but sadly the film is just way too boring to make it worth sitting through. It's far from a bad movie but it's just too bland for its own good. A lot of the blame can be pointed at the screenplay, which has one cliché too many. Even worse is that the characters are so simple and boring. We get this really bad and embarrassing "love story" dealing with Charlie (Noel Clarke) trying to get his girlfriend back but while inside he finally learns that she left him for his best friend. This subplot goes on forever and it's just downright boring and doesn't add anything to the film. People are coming to see a monster movie so I'm really not sure why they spent so much time on a boring subplot and especially since you have a great looking monster. The monster itself has a few bits appeared to be inspired by PREDATOR but it's still fun to look at and leads to some pretty violent kills. I really wish the monster had been featured more as it could have made up for the bland characters. Another weak spot is the very poor CGI but we do get a couple good performances including Clarke. STORAGE 24 is mainly going to appeal to die-hard science-fiction fans who want to see everything. Others should stay clear.