Deadly Descent

Abominable Snowman (2012)

* (out of 4)

If you're expecting SyFy to make good on last year's horrible BIGFOOT then you're sadly going to be disappointed. A group of professional snowboarders and skiers take to the mountains to look for a couple missing friends but soon they run into the title characters. ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN is yet another horrid bigfoot/yeti/snowman movie and it's a real shame. I love the actually myth of the creature but it's just mind-blowing that so many of the films have been downright awful. I'll start with the good right up front. The performances here were actually much better than you typically see in a film like this. Now for the bad stuff. We'll start with the actual monsters, which are among the worst you're ever going to see. Last year's BIGFOOT turned the creature into an awful looking Godzilla-sized monster. This film here makes them look like something a cat would cough up in the middle of the night. The actual look of the creatures are perhaps the worst I've ever seen. We can start with the fact that they're never the same size as in one scene they'll be the size of a car and then the next scene they're bigger than a large tree. Their size changes throughout but their hairy look and design make them look like a bear. In fact, my three-year-old son came out of his room while I was watching this and called them a bear. Even worse is that the awful CGI has a blurry look to them and it's just so bad that you have to wonder who signed off on them saying they'd be okay for a movie. The story is all rather predictable but with the lack of comedy, scares or drama, the thing just feels slow and boring. Lets all hope that one day the genre gets these monsters right but at this point lets hope no more turn up on SyFy.

SyFy's movies are often terrible, though there are some tolerable ones out there. Abominable Snowman(aka Deadly Descent) is down there with their bad movies. The good news is that it is a long way from SyFy's worst, and it is certainly better than last year's Bigfoot. And there are a few decent things. Nicholas Boulton's performance is dramatically stern and intense which is in good keep with this type of genre. The reveal of the second creature was very effective also, and Zara Dimitrova is smoking hot. Sadly, that's pretty much it. The acting has been much worse with SyFy, but there is still the mix of blandness and over-compensating. If you're looking for Atanas Srebrev to elevate it, you'll be disappointed, he's only in one scene and that one scene completely wastes him. It is not the actors' fault though that their performances generally don't register. They also have to work with characters that do little more than bore and irritate you and dialogue that just doesn't flow and that is unintentionally funny. The story doesn't engage either, while it picks up a tad in the latter half it is slow-moving and has very little atmosphere. Any comedy is awkward and out of place, the scary elements are diluted by the lack of suspense and that we don't see a lot of the deaths(which weren't that inventive in the first place) and the drama is soppy and lacks any kind of passion. Visually, there's been worse, but the creatures look blurry and quite weird-looking and the editing lacks any kind of fluidity. In conclusion, poorly done but there's worse out there. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Bottom-of-the-barrel entertainment, brought to us by the SyFy Channel. I sometimes wonder whether they churn these films out on autopilot as I could have sworn I'd seen this before, even though I hadn't. The IMDb trivia page announces that this was shot in Bulgaria in 13 days, so you get an idea of the kind of quality on offer here.

I'll briefly list what to expect, anyway: sloppily written characters you don't care about, going-through-the-motions acting, a distinct lack of imagination on the part of both director and scriptwriter. My favourite scene was where once character announced that she had suddenly remembered that the location she was in was the same place her father died all those years ago...bad memory, huh? Inevitably, what makes DEADLY DESCENT a laughing stock of a film is the excruciatingly awful CGI used to animate the Abominable Snowmen. It's worse than an old PC game I used to play in the 1990s called NIGHTMARE CREATURES! There are also way too many silly skiing sequences to pad out the running time, hardly any gore, and one of the most rubbishy-looking explosions I've seen in a while. Another SyFy howler, then.

This film should never have been released to the public as it is so bad that someone could end up committing suicide from boredom. Actually I must get this film for my mother in law to watch with her daughter!!!!!!!!! Just kidding I love them both. The acting was soooooooooooooooo bad and the dialogue one hell of a lot worse if that is remotely possible. Why does anyone want to direst such crap? If the voting had -10 I would've chosen that score. Even the monsters were sooooooo bad that you can only see them in small bits or totally blurred. In fact the film should have a health warning attached to it. Don't waste your time on this crap. The only thing that was worth watching this crap is the fact that you see Zara Dimitrova's gorgeous and delicious lips. She really is one sexy foxy lady. Ummmmmmmmm.

This begins as two mountain climbing men chat happily. They are about to become very, very sad. One appears to be killed by the "Abominable Snowman" of the title. The thing varies in size and looks more like a well-fed wolf than a snowman. It would be interesting to assume the "Abominable Snowman" eats people, but it isn't clear what happens. Next, solo skier Chuck Campbell (as Brian Tanner) hires helicopter pilot Adrian Paul (as Mark Haggerty) to take him to the top of the mountain. It seems strange that Mr. Campbell is left all alone to ski and we're assuming he's really there to find out what happened to the other man, or men. Campbell is followed up the mountain by his distraught sister Lauren O'Neil (as Nina Tanner) and leader-type Nicholas Boulton (as Rick McCabe). He organizes a team of younger actors to go up the mountain in Mr. Paul's helicopter and find the missing people...

Paul, the handsome "Highlander" star, smartly soaks himself in the local bar with a notably busty barmaid...

Those tagging along are frantic Elizabeth Croft (as Stacey), stressed Sean Teale (as Erlander) and cute Sam Cassidy (as Jon). They all have dramatic moments, with Mr. Cassidy sporting the best hairstyle. At one point, Ms. Croft is angry because Mr. Teale did not try to hit the "Abominable Snowman" with a snowball. The story is difficult to follow and the plot is confusing. Most of the cast has apparently fought together in the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. Like the Wars, the mountain has been claiming victims for years, and this must stop. If not, we could have an "Abominable Snowman II". Since so much of the story makes no sense, you should forget trying to figure out what has previously happened. One strength is the broadcast of this movie in color. When the main team is assembled, the colorfully styled uniforms help characterization. Best of all is Paul's helicopter, which stays dependably red.

*** Abominable Snowman (1/26/13) Marko Makilaakso ~ Chuck Campbell, Adrian Paul, Lauren O'Neil, Nicholas Boulton