Toolbox Murders 2: Coffin Baby

I wouldn't watch such sub-par movies, but a friend gave it to me. I mean, there are a lot of aimless serial killers out there. How did you create such an empty space? The movie is really bad. Like a performance theatre. My advice is never watch.

Ok, I enjoy a well made horror film but I am not above an all out gore fest now and again. This film is not a great example of a horror film. Most of the acting was sub par the two well known stars had barely more than cameos. The star of this film is American Makeup And FX they provided the SFX which were abundant and well done, mostly. Yes, we have seen this plot bled to death ( pardon the pun ) and the characters were, well, not very likable. It was enjoyable to watch each of them get jacked up. Enjoy this film for what it is, a gore fest.

Horror sequels or sudden additions nobody asked for usually don't go so well- especially if the base film is something not many would consider memorable. But when you combine this with zero story, zero reasoning, we get a movie like this that feels like and makes us feel zero care.

Usually these gore-hound or torture porn films don't feature much in the realm of story or plot, but take that a step further and you've got this film, where zero things that usually would matter exist. Character development, establishing scenes, information? Nope. We get thrown into this .. ordeal from the jump, and the movie wastes no time with throwing us into plenty of other pointless things too. When you reach midway, toward the end, it becomes known 1000% the ideas, care.. or writing is gone. This film has no payoff, nothing new to offer, other than some brain cells lost, or the new sense of confusion, growing with every new minute you waste in this. Some small bit of substance could've made a difference, even by a small bit, that is, if any effort was put toward that.

If you came for mindless gore or flat out action, there's some effort toward each, and that's about the only credit I could find for the two stars given in the score. Even with this being said, the gore and effects truly were not the best, as it lacked and even seemed a bit subpar, feeling more like random excuses for filler or random scenes and occurrences just because. Tension proves low, with the exception of a time or two actually managing to capture attention involving a feeling other than confusion.

As mentioned prior, around the mid to end of this film, all hope was lost. The film takes a strange and completely out of place turn with religion, and you read that correctly; the ending, sudden and jarring introductions and everything you see before your eyes, to me, felt rushed, forced and even more confusing than the rest of this film and the random occurrences that led, creating a tedious new flow.

If you want to watch a sequel that sustains absolutely nothing new, really interesting or exciting, while throwing different bloody scenes at your face with zero context or plot, this will easily do it for you! But if you're wanting NOT to waste your time, watch another gorehound flick, it won't be much different. But it'll surely be better than this Hollywood deep web home-video.

Toolbox Murders 2 (2013)

What passes for the film's plot is simple on the page but convoluted and messy on screen where it makes no real sense at all. For the most part the film concentrates on one poor young woman's horrific plight as she is caged in a serial killer's gloomy abode. There are flashbacks and supernatural elements none of which seem to make much sense and just add to confusing what should have been a straight forward exercise in exploitation. Rather than make a pig's ear of trying to explain things I'll hand over to the film's writer and director Dean C Jones who details the plot as below.

Hollywood, California is turned upside down by a series of strange and horrific murders creating chaos and turmoil in tinsel town. One particular victim, Samantha Forester (Chauntal Lewis), is kidnapped, held captive and subjected to witness the torture and murder of numerous other victims. It is by her will, strength, and faith that she must survive the ordeal. Her escape seems hopeless and only worsens when outside supernatural forces become more difficult to contend with than her captor.

This alleges to be a sequel to Tobe Hooper's reasonable 2004 remake of the 1978 cult favourite The Toolbox Murders bringing back that film's killer Coffin Baby for another stab at a franchise. Quite how two-time Academy Award nominee Bruce Dern (as Vance Henrickson) was convinced to star in this muddle will remain a mystery although to be fair, and possibly to Dern's relief, he's barely in it five minutes. The same applies to the film's other recognisable face Brian Krause, starring as Detective Chad Cole, who appears and disappears quickly from proceedings.

Originally shot back in 2011 Toolbox Murders 2 had additional footage added by the director, unbeknownst to the studio, following a poor festival reception and was retitled called Coffin Baby. This was independently released in 2013. Due to legal issues it is only now that the film can be released as Toolbox Murders 2 and here it is. From the Se7en style opening credits (it's like twenty years now since that film opened and people are STILL imitating it, enough already) through to its nonsensical ending Toolbox Murders 2 is more of an ordeal for the viewer than it is for the leading lady. So much about this film irks, rather than entertains, its audience from huge gaps in logic - how come not one cop sees Samantha taken from the police car - to how clean Samantha remains in such a hell-hole given the period of time she is incarcerated.

I was also rather perplexed by how it is not one person has ever spotted where our serial killer lurks and works. It's not like the building he takes his victims to be off the beaten track; in fact it looks rather localised. Perhaps our killer needs to be near the local amenities; after all he does need to pick up a nice bottle of wine and cooking condiments to add to the taste of his victims. It would also explain where he managed to find such a lovely fresh flower to offer to Samantha as the only nice gift he thinks to give her.

Toolbox Murders 2 feels thrown together rather than edited with any sense or meaning. The acting is miserable and the film is ultimately pointless. Gore-hounds will get off on the decently handled make-up effects - a victim sawn in half is a particular highlight - but otherwise this is a resounding dud. You'll get more satisfaction out of watching a clock tick away for an hour and a half than you will from watching this and I rather wish I had.

Check out more of my reviews at www.mybloodyreviews.com

1. For Cinematography. 2. For great body parts. 3. For Bruce Dern.

Anything else you can add....please do. I like watching movies. I like Horror, Sci-Fi and the unspecified Weird Stuff. I will watch a movie just because someone put a story (I hope) into film.

With all that being said....I can't say much else for Coffin Baby. The plot or the title got lost somewhere. To contradict myself....there is a plot. But it is so basic it will inevitably put one to sleep. The victim needs something....can't put my finger on it....oh yes, I have no fingers. Don't get me wrong...I love weird, but this is not that kind of movie. The shades of gray are a good touch. But then early on into the movie one realizes that shades of gray and another body is all one is going to get. I can't possibly spoil the movie with this review. You will have to watch and see for yourself. I've seen bad movies. If you're like me...you will sit down and watch it just to say you did it. That will be the end of the story.

Bruce Dern is Bruce Dern...he can't play a bad role. I just like the guy because he creeps me out just being on film. I seem to be the first to review Coffin Baby. Looking forward to jumping back from time to time and see who watches the film and who comments....and what they say. Please don't hesitate to jump in here. Hmmmmmm...finger lickin' good......Q(:-}