Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong

Evil Bong 3 (2011) is available for free on Tubi and takes our band of misfits into outer space after smoking an alien bong. They are held there by naked aliens and begin growing strange green funguses. Their only hope to be saved is if they can reassemble the original Evil Bong to thwart the Alien Bong. This movie is directed by legend Charles Band (Puppet Master) and stars Christina DeRosa (Bad Moms), Irwin Keyes (The Warriors), Robin Sydney (The Gingerbread Man), Mitch Eakins (Glory Road) and John Patrick Jordan (Mad Men). The storyline while awful is fun and the special effects are creative while the script is inconsistent but good for a few giggles. This isn't anything special but is fun in a so bad it's good kind of way. I'd score it a 4/10.

The third film in the Evil Bong franchise sees similarities between to the second film. The plot is similar with few minor differences.

It starts with another foreign bong which transports anyone who smokes from it into a mysterious alternate world. The world in which this film takes place is a sort of alien realm where we see few alien women trying to seduce them for their well being.

It's very much the same plot yet it is more boring, not as entertaining as it drags. The alternate alien world is possibly the highlight. The alien bong was quite the nice touch. Great design and voice work.

Also there is another recasting of Alistair (this one is similar enough to the one in the first film).

An evil alien bong crashes on earth. Its intent: world domination. Our stoner heroes are sent to the alien bong planet and held captive by nude alien beauties. Their only hope to escape and save planet earth: Eebee, the original Evil Bong.

Full Moon is not really known for quality, but they are still in the business of having fun -- they make low budget films that people can watch at a party or with a few beers, not movies that will be earning awards. This one, sadly, is neither. It runs too long, is not very funny, and just beat the "Bong World" idea to death. I liked the first film, did not mind the second, but this one is awful.

The only redeeming thing about this film was the brief appearance by Robin Sydney, who must be in a lifetime contract to Charles Band. She has been in more of his films than anyone else in the last ten years, with no signs of stopping. Not that I mind. I have met Robin, she is a cool person, and I would gladly see her return again and again.

Praise for Robin Sydney aside, this was just a stinker. I would rather have been taking a nap or playing Mahjong than sitting through this epic failure. Maybe it was better in 3D or smell-o-vision... but not on DVD.

This is the third in the Full Moon series and apparently released theatrically in 3D, not that you'd know from the soul-crushing low budget and poor quality of the thing. Charles Band actually directs as well as produces this one, but he fails to bring much in the way of interest or inventiveness to his production. Our heroes (played by new actors) spend almost the entire running time hanging around in the foyer of a weed shop, cracking jokes and doing very little, while the plot is the lamest of lame sub sci-fi trash. There are a few scenes involving nude alien captors on a remote planet and some amusing songs throughout, but generally this is as dire as its predecessor.

After the first Evil Bong film, I figured completing the franchise was going to take me a very long time to complete, but sometimes it's best to get these things over as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid. So here I am at part 3D: The Wrath of Bong, which follows almost exactly the same formula as the previous two films, albeit with a sci-fi twist.

An alien bong arrives on Earth in a meteorite-like spacecraft, where it is discovered by a wife-killer who sells it to stoners Brett (Brian Lloyd) and Bachman (Mitch Eakins), who now run a weed shop in Venice Beach. The extraterrestrial paraphernalia has plans to take over Earth, sucking Bachman into its alien world and turning him into a walking marijuana plant. Rabbit (Sonny Carl Davis) is also sucked into the bong, where he is connected up to a jizz-milking machine. It is up to Larnell (John Patrick Jordan) and Alistair (Peter Stickles) to try and rescue their friends.

Part 3 features the same lame stoner humour as the first two film (complete with fart gags!), and the same level of gratuitous nudity to try and keep the series' intended audience - young men - from switching off. The special effects and production design are really cheap (especially the alien realm), the acting is basic and, if you've already seen the first two films, it will all feel repetitive and uninspired (the invasive space fungus carried by the meteorite is surely ripped off from Creepshow, and Nurse Hookah reminded me a lot of Lisa Marie in Mars Attacks).

The ending left me with a big question: after destroying the alien bong, how did the friends manage to get back to Earth? Or maybe I'm just thinking too hard about this dumb movie.