Assassin's Bullet - Il target dell'assassino

As a Bulgarian I sometimes watch the horrible Stallone/Lundgren action flicks that get filmed in my country. I first saw the rock-bottom IMDb rating and reviews for this one, and prepared for one more night of cringing self-embarrassment. Boy, was I pleasantly surprised.

Sorry, guys, but no way you will ever get this movie. Hint: check the credits - it was primarily created by Bulgarians and half the time people in it speak in Bulgarian. This movie really was made for a Bulgarian audience and features all sorts of coy little inside jokes in the plot, poking with self-irony at bad American action films and cultural misunderstandings between our two nations. And, it actually paints a decent picture of Bulgaria and Sofia, our refined Oriental folk establishments and fine police force - sadly now we even have terrorists.

I am not saying it is a great film at all. It is at the level of good TV productions in Bulgaria and is actually very enjoyable to a Bulgarian who watches it as precisely that. How and why this was ever marketed to bloodthirsty action flick fans and sold overseas I can't say, but I kind of hope it diverted some cash from the awful Stallone stuff. Yet, you got your fair warning - just don't watch it.

Sorry to say, but this Bulgaria-made movie is by far the most idiotic piece of cinema you could possibly imagine. It is hard to believe this had a budget of 5 million to work with and I guess most of it went into paying Slater and Spall, whom I would hardly imagine will take the part without a substantial paycheck. Concentrating on the actual movie, I would start with the story, which is non-existent and so badly written you could hardly follow what exactly is going on. Advertised as an action movie, the action is so little you could easily fall asleep. The biggest fight scene between Slater and the woman near the end is banal and completely detached from the entire plot (if there is any plot at all), that it makes you wonder if they just needed Slater to be brutally beaten because he was so stupid to take the part. The woman, whose name I can't bother to remember is such a bad actress, it made me feel uncomfortable and I would strongly advice her to find a real job as acting can hardly get worse nowadays...not to mention how incredibly unnatural everything she does is. I never say this about any woman, but sometimes people who are obviously terrible actors are cast because of their good looks - not the case here unfortunately, but then again I doubt there were any auditions for the role as the actress is also the writer. Screenplay-wise I would say this is the most unrealistically portrayed Bulgaria ever seen. You see scenes more suited for Iraq or Afghanistan 20 years ago rather than Bulgaria. Buying typical Arab clothing on the street in a European country is very unusual even for a movie. I assume the author wanted to ridicule the current situation in Bulgaria, where corruption and organised crime are thriving but involving some middle-Eastern terrorists and basically making it look like Bulgaria is more or less the center of modern day terrorism is moronic. I am not going to discuss the endless belly dance scenes and perverted moments involving Slater in a public place seemingly having an orgasm, but one thing is certain - sexuality does not always sell!

I would not recommend this piece of "action" to anyone, who considers themselves moderately intelligent! In fact I would not recommend it even as a joke as that would be too cruel!

Just imagine a kid trying to make his first "foreign-place action movie" who has no idea about the world and cultures and has it all mixed up in his head and this is what you get. Amazingly inaccurate and confusing settings and like everyone said, dumb story. What does Bulgaria or Sofia have to do with this? And what time in the future or past is it taking place because that country and city have never looked or sounded like that. Why are American and British folks chilling in bellydancing and shisha bars?? If they said it was Turkey or middle east it would be slightly more accurate. All that arabic music in the background is hilarious! You don't hear arab music in Europe unless you go into an ethnic restaurant. So amazingly inaccurate. I can't believe there is an actual American director who mixed up cultures and countries like that. This is like making a movie in France but having Italian music in the background while people speak Spanish but actually looking like German. Total parody of a movie! Makes for decent laughs!

"No questions, that's all I ask." When members of the Most Wanted terrorist list in Europe begin to get killed off the US Ambassador (Sutherland) sends for the best of the best. A former FBI field agent (Slater) begins to investigate. Judging by the plot and the cast this is one I was all ready to watch and enjoy. I had high expectations and was excited to see this. Then the movie started. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. The acting was OK, but the movie was just so incredibly slow moving that I really found it had to pay attention to. This really felt like a made for TV movie with better actors. There have been a lot of anti-terrorist movies lately and none of them seem to really be that interesting. This one had the possibility of being one of the best. Then I watched it. While not as bad as the Steven Segal or Dolph Lundgren movies that have been coming out it's still not anything to rush out and see. Overall, long and boring and hard to stay focused on. I give it a C-.

I had high expectations for this movie because of the cast. However both Slater and Sutherland seem to be going in slow motion. Christian Slater's facial expressions, especially scenes with Timothy Spall, who is far too good for this-were of the school play ilk. All seems very amateurish and the acting from these great stars was extremely disappointing. Obviously the director who was also the author and female lead was very inexperienced and so the acting was very wooden. Bad direction, but good camera-work. The story and location were good but don't fulfill the potential. Such a shame that my wife and I wasted an evening on this. Not much more I can say just to fill my ten lines - Boring, Yawwwwwn!