- Jay: You're giving me indigestion.
- Justin: Oh, sorry.
- Jay: Apology accepted.
- Justin: Sometimes God's love can be hard to swallow.
- Jay: Not as hard as a dinner plate.
- Justin: God loves you.
- Jay: Does he? Well, tell God from me if you're the kind of people he hangs about with, stay out of my way. No more guitar, mate. Not in restaurants. There is a time and a place. And your time and place is in a very isolated location, where no-one is likely to be for about a fucking hundred years. Ok? Because Jimmy Hendrix you ain't.
- Gal: Very sorry about my friend, please accept my most humble apologies. And if you are speaking to the big man, put a word in for us, will you? Get them all a drink, love. Double orange juices all around.
- Gal: Come on, mate. Let's get you to bed. Don't pay any attention to them, they are just over-excited.
- Sam: Why?
- Gal: Because they have been drinking, all right? Don't you ever drink, do you hear me? Promise?
- Sam: Not even water?
- Gal: Especially not that shit. Do you know the government puts stuff in it that shrinks your balls?
- Jay: Difficult for a man to know where he stands these
- Gal: You should've had a crack at the Mick, mate. A tour of duty in Belfast would've done you the world of good.
- Fiona: I never understood the whole Irish thing. Cos, I mean, it's all the same religion, so...
- Gal: Not really, love.
- Fiona: They're all Christian.
- Shel: That's true.
- Gal: It's debatable
- Jay: What do I get? Fucking Iraq!
- Shel: Iraq's over. What about now, eh?
- Jay: Yeah? I've finished.
- [Turn his plate upside down over the table]
- Jay: [Drags the tablecloth off the table causing the dinner to fall onto the floor] Abracadabra!