The Catechism Cataclysm

I've learned that most people don't like to be confused by the movies they watch. They don't like to have to think about things too deeply, and get reeeeallyy p*ssed off when a movie "has no ending." To the viewer who pretty much lives for movies fitting that description, do yourself a favor and watch this. Don't pay attention to the trailer, this is not a summer buddy movie. It's not slapstick. Don't prep your diaphragm for fart jokes (although yes technically they exist). Be ready for something that makes no sense, but also be ready for that fact to be a little inside joke(which paradoxically *makes* it make sense). Also, please don't be too religious or catholic before viewing.

This film sat on my Netflix queue for a long time before I finally got around to watching it. Perhaps I should have waited longer. Then, perhaps, I would understand what it was all about. I know the film was supposed to be funny, but ultimately I think the joke was on me. In the film, an absurdly childish priest Father William, played by an unbelievably annoying Steve Little, is forced to take some time off by his superiors. He decides to contact his high school idol Robbie Shoemaker, played by Robert Longstreet, to take a little trip with him. Robbie agrees for no good reason. The two meander down a river on a raft purposelessly and seeming endlessly until you start praying for something, anything to happen. It does when two Japanese tourists and their black bodyguard show up. Sadly, what happens doesn't make any sense either. I have no idea what the filmmaker intended. Steve Little was simply too absurd for the film play as meaningful religious satire. I am giving the film three stars for the soundtrack. John R. Butler's sacrilegious ditty, Hand of the Almighty, is almost worth the price of admission.

It's sad when the most memorable part of a movie is the closing credits song (in this case, "God will F*** you Up", Hilarious) Steve Little is Not an actor, and his attempts in this movie are truly cringe-worthy. You start snickering not because he's funny, but because like a bad traffic accident, you can't look away. It's always a bad sign when you come across as potentially having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and his character manages it in this.

I caught this on Netflix, and that's the only reason I ever saw this train wreck of a movie, and trust me, you will not want to waste your time on it.

The Catechism Cataclysm is a film that seems to try and do everything in its power to make you not like it. It has a preposterously inconceivable setup, its tone is almost never consistent, it ranges from light-hearted farce to extremely-overwrought satanism at times, shamelessly alienates itself from its audience, and tries to make us side with one of the most grating, ridiculous character an indie film has ever seen.

And yet, I kind of liked it. It has that "simply don't give a damn" charm that works, and its characters, while quite unlikable, accentuate at least some believability. It follows Father Billy (Steve Little), a bumbling doofus of a Catholic priest who meets and reconnects with Robbie (Robert Longstreet), an acquaintance from high school he has since become obsessed with. Robbie is a failed writer and a singer for a cheap, ragtag metal band, and carries his surly, narcissistic attitude with him like a badge of pride.

Father Billy and Robbie embark on a canoeing trip last minute, which results in them getting lost and trying to survive the trip and each other. But the film doesn't stop there; throw in Japanese tourists that look innocuous but are anything but, a bizarre mind-control device, and an extremely uncomfortable but artsy attempt at a satanic trance that looks like it was choreographed by the likes of Rob Zombie.

If writer/director Todd Rohal went into The Catechism Cataclysm (which will also go down as one of the most fun films to say) with the mindset of making one of the strangest, most baffling independent comedies in recent years then he succeeded. It's one thing to wince at a film's comedy rather than laugh as you're supposed to, but I wasn't sure rather to wince or to laugh at the humor the film presents. It functions in that odd, extremely rare crack of absurdist craziness and careless farce that leaves you either unamused or consumed with hilarity. Or, like me, in a state of admiration and disappointment.

However, I can't say I knew what to expect watching the film. Something along the lines of the wonderful independent films of the last couple of years rather than something that channels the boundaries of an episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!. Absurdist humor and the act of laughing at something that theoretically isn't funny only goes so far with me. At times cute and amusing, it can also verge on the fence of being repetitive and often only used for shock-value or for those occasion, uncertain laughs. The Catechism Cataclysm is filled with the so-called "uncertain laughs," but also features some surprising moments of entertainment and likability.

That is quite the remark seeing as I began the film almost completely loathing the Father Billy character. Characters that are drawn for the purpose of being unlikable because of something they bring on themselves (in this case clinginess, a sense of importance, childish behavior, and a lack of maturity). For this reason, it is shocking to see Father Billy go from intolerable to shockingly watchable when him and Robbie begin to realize they're lost on the river and talk aimlessly for a lengthy amount of time.

This is a rocky, directionless film indeed. The first twenty-five minutes are difficult to get into but acceptable in their own way, the following thirty are pretty good and pack in the film's strongest points, and the final twenty minutes or so become flabby and signify this film would've been more practical and justifiable as a short than a seventy-five minute feature. I can't honestly recommend the film - it's way too uneven and intentionally baffling - and, yet, it's too intriguing to be ignored on another level.

Starring: Steve Little and Robert Longstreet. Directed by: Todd Rohal.

I just saw the movie at the SXSW film festival with my daughters. We loved it. Not only because it is delightfully weird but also because it's funny, very funny, even by "mumblecore" standards. (The director is a founding member of that movement. Google it if you've never heard of it.)

It's one of those daring little flicks that grabs religion by the balls and shakes it left and right until it pukes. And then there's the acting. Excellent, considering the uniqueness of the script and the irreverence of the subject matter. Father Billy will crack you up in just about every scene.

If you're into odd and peculiarly funny stuff, this movie is a must see. But if you're one of those folks who gets easily offended when artists mess around with religion or religious institutions, don't bother. This movie may kill you. Just consider this as a warning: The movie features a song called "God will f... you up". Now, that's irreverent. Keep an eye on this movie if it plays in a theater near you. I doubt it, but you'd never know. God works in mysterious ways. LBlancoNazoa