Blubberella

Lindsay Hollister is the lead actress playing a half human / half vampire living in 1940 Nazi Germany... in her perfectly normal 2011 apartment with a smartphone, net access, Mac computer and I do know what insert Apple product here... Yes it's that kind of movie.

The movie is a shot for shot parody of Blood Rayne 3. I think you can guess what the joke is from that horrendous title.

Sadly this movie only works as an inside joke as all the "funny" bits were simply to change one thing from the shot of the original movie. If you don't have that movie memorize or even bothered to see it then you won't get the joke... and see how anti humor it is.

Make no mistake. This movie is offensive and the director went that extra mile to humiliate the lead actress for being plus size because.... I don't know maybe he thinks pointing at people that aren't stick figures is funny? It's a shame because she's actually good and totally wasted in this heap of trash.

Then you have Willam Belli who is simply FABULOUS! but no, here he is made to act the typical 90's gay friend and then black face... there is an actor with black face in a 2011 movie. I'm serious!

This movie was bad, offensive and weird. If you know what you're in for then you'll get a few laughs out of it. Mostly for the wrong reasons but you can still have some stupid fun with it.

If on the other hand you are unfamiliar with this director's work or blood rayne then take out your electric fan and will the stench of this heap away. You WILL hate it .

You know, I recently watched Uwe Boll's FAR CRY and thought to myself, Boll has actually made a decent film here. Perhaps he's improving as a director. I've subsequently sat through a kind of double-bill of AUSCHWITZ and now this, and I have to revoke that thought. Because AUSCHWITZ was bad, but BLUBBERELLA is by far Boll's worst film ever, as well as one of the worst films I've ever had the misfortune to sit through.

The joke is that Blubberella is a morbidly obese girl who fights Nazis in some kind of amateur WW2 setting. There's also some nonsense about her being half vampire although that has nothing to do with the story. Instead, what we get is a pantomime-style film with constant and offensive jokes about overweight people, different nationalities, and anything else. There's even a scene of blackface which has to be seen to be believed.

Lindsay Hollister as the main actress is humiliated throughout and I felt acutely sorry for her. Michael Pare must be wondering how far his fortunes can sink by appearing in this. The only decent actor is Clint Howard playing a creepy doctor in the usual Clint Howard style, but that's it. Uwe Boll's cameo as Hitler is the worst ever. The crude sexual jokes and the like take the biscuit and the film is too cheap to include any action, effects, or real storyline. It's absolutely awful in every way and I wish I'd never seen it.

Uwe Boll, you love him or you hate him but this flick is utterly trash. I guess that they had a lot of fun making this flick. It features Nazis and let that be the most important part in Bloodrayne 3. So it's clear that they filmed it back to back with Bloodrayne 3.

The script doesn't go anywhere but the acting was by some okay. I kept watching it to see where something is happening and the few things that happen is one vampire attack, one corpse of a vampire being investigated by some kind of perverted doctor and some nude chicks walking around.

I didn't laugh a bit with the comedy or jokes or even situations. The only thing that saved this turkey is Lindsay Hollister (Blubberella) and Brendan Fletcher (Rampage). The idea was okay but what a mess it became.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 1/5 Effects 1/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 1/5

German director Uwe Boll has a reputation for prolifically turning out films that are, shall we say, unsatisfactory. He has worked with reputable actors and sizable budgets, yet all his films fail to convey, if anything, the joy of film making. It saddens me to say that the flick Blubberella epitomizes this total failure.

I have seen many bad movies in my life; some so bad they became good, some bad in a campy way, some just plain crap, but Blubberella is none of that. It is uninspired, clumsy (and not in a quaint way), fake and most of all BORING. Uwe Boll must have had his sense of humor surgically removed to be able to produce such an utterly unfunny comedy.

I can rage against bad films when they have redeeming qualities, or when there was a start of an idea, a good intention. Blubberella is just absolutely nothing.

An obese half-vampire bisexual living in WWII Nazi Germany with cell-phone service, internet access, a 2001 Apple clamshell iBook and a Segway.

Even though the lead actress Lindsay Hollister took pains to try to change the movie title, and she publicized that she only took the part because it was difficult for plus-sized actresses to find roles, she is an utter jewel in this movie with her comic timing.

Willam Belli is a stereotype chameleon (swishy queen, blackface mammy, blackface thug, etc.) playing off of Hollister so well, between them they make the movie.

The bonus in the movie was Clint Howard as the Josef Mengele analogue. Half playing it straight dramatic and half doing comic Nazi goose steps.

"Blubberella" is a lot of politically incorrect fun, and you'll get a lot of laughs as long as you know what you're in for.