Triassic Attack - Il ritorno dei dinosauri

Game of Thrones it ain't. Even Emilla (sic!) Clarke can't save this. Worst special effects I've seen in a long time. Do something better with your life.

I was expecting a great Syfy movie; my family would sit down, watch it, enjoy it, and laugh at the guilty pleasure with it's clever effects throughout. However, this just made me feel like fast-forwarding the entire show with my DVR remote. Here's why:

The story was just boring; it felt like that it could have sped up a little bit. At least they did a flashback to show how the events came about, but mostly, the writers used all these unnecessary pauses and dialog for filler that just made the movie seem longer. If they were to cut out those certain scenes or shorten them, the movie could have made a solid hour and I would have enjoyed it much better.

The characters, mostly between the main characters--Jake and Emma--were just irritating and painstakingly annoying. As before, the writers just used filler techniques in situations with dialog or pauses. Surprisingly, the other characters that were further introduced were slightly better, but the pacing felt unbalanced. The acting was off- balance; some scenes looked like they were a complete joke--not funny, some were so overdone that they seemed to last too long.

The effects were okay some of the time, but mostly, they were the cheapest graphics ever put into a Syfy movie--more cheap than the other movies. In fact, they were so cheap that it made the other effects from other Syfy movies, as well as low-rated universal productions, appear ten times as good.

Lastly, the concepts of the movie: dull and unrealistic. In fact, one scene actually felt uncomfortable and very unusual and it lasted for about a minute. Another one was a ritual ceremony that caused it to magically rain from the sky. The fact that dinosaur skeletons are able to roar without the required organs, and fly without any muscles, is beyond ridiculous.

As for consistency, Syfy premiered the movie Jurassic Park, a more successful spin-off of realistic dinosaurs, directed by Steven Spielberg, before this movie aired. I assume that it tried to keep us interested in dinosaurs, just without the whole body structure, but that plan failed miserably.

Overall, this is one of the worst Syfy movies that was ever made in the history of this channel.

What a FUN movie. Beautifully shot in Bulgaria. Sure it was a LOW-budget production, sure some of the actors should have other jobs at the drive-up Dairy Queen, but hey, it was still fun.

The joker that played the sheriff was probably the weakest cast member. Pretty flat character that should have done a little more FREAKING OUT when danger was on the Jeep. Dontcha think. The rest of the cast was well suited for their parts. Especially the quirky and funny Gabriel Womack that was part McGyver, part stand up comedian. Loved his hair after the "wire-connection."

The reincarnation of a FLYING T-Rex was fabulous!!

All in all a good outing for the Sci Fi channel.

We all loved it, Gabriel!!! Missoula out....

I rarely rip on the acting performances in creature features from the SyFy Channel, but Jesus H. Christ. Where the hell did they find all these people? A project like "Triassic Attack" isn't going to attract the cream of the crop, but this cast goes well below the minimum requirements. For one thing: nobody in this quiet, rural American town manages to hide their British accent. For another, the inevitable comic relief character has the comedic timing of an orphanage fire. The Native American character does seem to be pulled straight from an SNL sketch, but I think those scenes are supposed to be taken seriously. The effects are never that good in SyFy movies, but they are especially bad here. These dinosaur skeletons seemed very difficult to animate, they move in a really unnatural way. There are several scenes where we get dangerously close to "Birdemic" territory. Overall though, the most bothersome thing about this movie is that it just doesn't give the audience what it wants. All you want to see is dinosaurs eating people, and it barely has any of that. And on the rare occasions you do see it, it appears to be completely bloodless because adding CGI blood is more work. Not even good for a laugh.

I'll give some credit where it's due. I did think the locations did look beautiful and there is one good character, Wyatt, played with quirky enthusiasm by Gabriel Womack. However, while SyFy have done far worse than this(just look at Camel Spiders, Quantum Apocalypse, Titanic II and Alien vs. Hunter for examples) Triassic Attack is pretty lame. The skeleton dinosaurs' designs are a step above designs with dinosaurs in flesh and blood, but they still look substandard. The audio is overbearing at times and sometimes overshadows the dialogue. Nothing exciting musically either. The script apart from Wyatt's amusing quips is generally weak and unimaginative, and the story feels leaden and the usual suspend disbelief moments with a lack of thrills and suspense. Wyatt aside, the characters are clichéd and dull, and the acting more often than not look very stiff here. The direction is somewhat efficient, but ultimately joyless. Overall, not the worst I've seen from SyFy, but apart from the scenery, one good character and Womack, there was little good, in my opinion that is. 3/10 Bethany Cox