Mercenaries

After having had a sneak-preview of Mercenaries, i must admit it just wasn't very good, even for a Balkaneze guy like me.

The plot seems rushed, the actors are mediocre at best, and there just isn't any substance to get you hooked on the story. The only character you can sympathize a little with, is Andy Marlow(played by Robert Fucilla). Along with Kirsty Mitchell, they did a decent job acting.

But having watched it, i was like "was that it?", and i started wondering if it was worth the time in the first place.

I hope somebody out there enjoys it...

because i didn't.

So .. the American military (ie Billy Zane) entrust the rescue of a US ambassador somewhere in Serbia (where else !) to a rag bag of British mercenaries (we mustn't forget the word "elite" here !) led by an investment manager from Brixton , London !

They walk around somewhere in a wooded area at night talking loudly ... knowing that only the cameraman and soundman are listening .

We know who the top bad guy is because he wears an eye patch , of course ! More walking in illuminated woods at night follows , while the bad guys are torturing everyone they can find !!

Now this is where it gets exciting ... the investment manager (turned actor / cameraman & producer) from Brixton , decides to attack the bad guys , based in a shabby building ... not to be confused with the American Embassy say , and liberate the hostages . Armed only with Kalashnikovs (don't ask !) the good guys liberate the American hostages including the one-eyed bandit.

Here , excitement reaches a zenith ! After firing many blank bullets and more flashing lights , the liberators go back to the woods with the Americans and a captured bad guy ! Surprisingly, the woods are very well lit .

Anyway , the producer / actor investment manager tries to hit on the only female with them . But eventually Billy Zane is there with the obligatory coffee to welcome what is left of the rescuers !

There is a lot of trees in this film , but little daylight.

Breathtaking , don't yo think ??

"No Andy...they are wrong." After a military coup occurs in the Balkins the U.S. ambassador is in trouble. An ex S.A.S. serviceman is picked by Colonel Tourida (Zane) to lead a rescue mission. I have to admit that I like war movies, but like the new batch of western movies lately they seem to be either really good or really bad. It seems that some people assume that if you put a guy in cameo with a gun in a movie people will flock to it regardless of plot. I am not one of those people. To me just because it's a war movie doesn't automatically make it good. This one was very slow and didn't seem to have a point. I lost interest quickly and started to forget what I saw. By the end I was just glad it was over. But on the other hand not everyone thinks like me and many will like this. I just couldn't get into it. Overall, compared to the recent war movies like "Beneath Hill 60" and "Age Of Heroes" this is not nearly as good. I give it a C-.

Rather than watching this film, I felt as if i was being subjected to it. I have seen thousands of film, both high and low budget, and I can quite honestly say this is one of the worst I have watched. The only thing more terrible than the script were the actors' performances. Although, the actors aren't fully to blame as the casting choices were the true root cause of the film's problems. Not one character was believable as having served in the SAS or any military unit, they couldn't properly hold weapons or implement any semblance of military tactics.Beside from the countless military inaccuracies; the plot was unoriginal, unbelievable and totally boring.

Avoid this movie, it is absolute rubbish!

Dreadful Film! OK, many people have already referred to the fact that this is such a dreadful film already. The biggest problem is that if you combine terrible acting with a terrible script then the only sure fire thing you are going to get is a terrible film. It's all just so implausible that a group of amateurs who clearly have not bothered to get any military adviser on board start running round someone's back garden to convince the viewer that they are on some kind of clandestine rescue mission. Mr Fuccilla is clearly no leading man and is unable to carry a gun properly, never mind a movie. His dialog is simply risible.

Does the movie have any redeeming features? Critics, even the hard- nosed ones, will try and find at least one redeeming factor but alas, in this case, it seems to be impossible. It seems that the key to this movie lies in its funding. If you read the PR suicide article on Mr Fuccilla in the Guardian you can see that this is another vanity project. The Merchant Banker might do better spending the money on acting lessons.

In the end, the poster tells it all: on IMDb we see Fuccilla face on in big close up. By the time the movie is released we see the DVD cover with everyone with their backs to us. If the Merchant Banker at the head of the vanity project turns his back on his own film - it's time for the viewer to do the same!