Piranha 3DD

Well this was a huge disappointment! I really liked the first Piranha 3D film so I was looking forward to this. This is a lazy, lifeless, and pointless sequel that had no business being made. Instead of being so bad it's good like the first film, this one is just so bad it's terrible. For starters, the first Piranha film actually had likable characters and somewhat of a plot to it. This one has the thinest of a plot you can get and the characters are incredibly lifeless and not even the main character serves any purpose to the film at all. You'd think that with this being a sequel they would amp up the gore and deaths, but the deaths in this one are actually tamer than the first and there's actually less of them. The film tries to be much more of a comedy this time around by adding more humor which all of it falls flat. The humor in this film is so awful and outdated thats it's hard to believe anyone over the age of 13 actually wrote this film. But, what really annoyed me about this film is just how damn stupid it is! The writers couldn't even come up with a decent way to get these characters in a situation to set up a death scene and instead have them do something really stupid or come up with a really stupid reason to get them in a situation that sets up a lame death. The acting here (even though it's suppose to be bad) is bad even for a B-Movie. And just when you think you will finally get a payoff after sitting through 55 minutes of crap, the film presents you with a lazy and totally underwhelming climax that is filmed so poorly that most of the time you can't even tell what is going on (And this really sucks because that was the highlight of the first film). And then, the film presents us with an ending so stupid and forced that even those who can suspend their disbelief the most will be left frustrated with just how incredibly stupid the ending is. The film is a short (althought it feels much longer) 70 minutes followed by 11 minutes of credits that include a ton of lame outtakes. I can now see why The Weinstein Company decided to only release this in barely any theaters and just put in on VOD. I still can't believe how bad this movie was. The director John Gulager shouldn't ever be allowed to be involved with a film ever again because this guy can't direct to save his life. Alexandre Aja who directed the first film actually understood the material he was working with. John Gulager had no idea what the hell he was doing and just decided the wip out a POS to make a quick buck because he obviously didn't care about this film at all and just wanted to get paid. As far as the cameo's in the film go, Gary Busey is only in the films opening scene and is wasted (the only thing we get to see him do is light a cow's farts on fire). Ving Rhames cameo doesn't just feel forced, but also is just really pathetic and sad to watch. The only positive things I can say about this film was that David Hasselfhoff's scenes are actually chuckle worthy and there's a lot of gorgeous nude women on screen many times. Even though i'm only giving the film 1/2 a star, that feels generous. This film could've really been a blast and fun just like the first one was, but it really is just an atrocity of a film that not even the biggest fans of the first one will enjoy. If you are looking for a fun B-Movie, go rent Piranha 3D and just forget that this film even exist. Piranha 3DD tries to so self-award of itself that it just ends up being exactly what it's parodying.

Lake Victory is a dead place after the tragic events with the invasion of prehistoric flesh-eaters piranhas.

In Cross Lake, Merkin County, the greedy Chet (David Koechner) opens The Big Wet Water Park against the will of his stepdaughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker). When the van of her friends Travis (Paul James Jordan) and Ashley (Meagan Tandy) is found in the water and the couple is missing, Maddy and her friend Shelby (Katrina Bowden) miss them and they talk on a wooden deck on the lake; out of the blue, they are attacked by piranhas.

Maddy visits the specialist in piranhas Mr. Carl Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) with her former school friend Barry (Matt Bush), who works at The Big Wet, and with her former boyfriend, Deputy Kyle (Chris Zylka), and they discover piranhas in the lake. However Chet refuses to shutdown his water park and soon his costumers are under the attack of the fearful piranhas.

I saw "Piranha 3DD" on DVD and I found it a gross and funny B-Movie, with stupid but hilarious characters. The director knows the B-movie formula, with teats and beautiful girls. Christopher Lloyd has become stereotyped as the mad scientist in American comedies in the end of his career. The uncredited Ving Rhames afraid of the water and shooting with his leg is comical. But David Hasselhoff steals the movie making fun of himself as the most famous lifeguard of all times. If you shutdown your brain, you will certainly enjoy this movie. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Piranha 2" ("Piranha 2")

That was shocking, all those that couldn't get out the pool well... this was meant to be a piranha film but where were they at? There was no logic to this film. Don't put yourself through the pain of watching this film.

This movie is bad, and I am pretty sure this was intentional. It clearly makes fun of itself and adds a lot of dumb jokes and weird scenes for no purpose. To impress the teenagers also a bunch of bare breasts got added. Probably director John Gulager was so distracted by this human meat show, that he completely forgot to insert a plot of any kind. But does this really matter at this point? I don't think so. Switch your brain off, lean back, stare at the naked bodies, ignore the nonsense lines and get wasted while the movie progresses. The remake was bad already and anybody who expected a sequel to this would do the franchise any good must be out of his mind... or distracted by... you know the drill!

Is this movie bad? Yes. Did anyone want it? No. Is it hilarious to watch people's minds being blown by how much this movie sucks? Yes. Watching it alone is really boring but making fun of it with your friends might be the only saving grace this film has.