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Robot Chicken: Star Wars III

Obi-Wan Kenobi: [the Force ghosts of Obi-Wan, Yoda and old Anakin are listlessly watching the victory celebration on Endor] Just wrap it up, we are not getting any younger.
[Old Anakin turns into Hayden Christensen]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Oh, you special edition motherfucker!
Anakin Skywalker: Up yours! Ha ha!

Yarael Poof: [Yarael Poof enters the chamber of the Jedi Council carrying pizzas] They did not have calamari pizza because Mon Calamari are people and I did not know that!
[notices the chamber in ruin after Order 66 has been carried out]
Yarael Poof: Is everyone on the Council dead? Oh, I better hurry then, my time is short!
[jumps on Yoda's chair, bitterly mimicking him]
Yarael Poof: Hey everyone I'm Yoda! Talk weird, I do! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to *never let anyone else talk*!
[explosions outside, Yarael Poof flees after grabbing some pizzas]

Luke Skywalker: [on Dagobah] What's in the cave?
Yoda: Only what you bring with you.
[Luke grabs his belt]
Yoda: Your weapons, you will not need them.
[Luke rolls his eyes, puts on his belt and enters the cave]
Yoda: Stutter, did I? Hmm?
[sighs]
Yoda: No use there is, do what Luke will do... Luke will do.
[lightsaber noises and screams come from the cave]
Yoda: Oh, shit!
[Yoda runs inside and finds Luke standing next to a decapitated Vader]
Yoda: Oh no, no, killed him you did?
Luke Skywalker: I- I thought he was Darth Vader.
Yoda: Just some dude it was! The reason I said "no weapons" this is!
Luke Skywalker: In my defense, you phrased it as more of a suggestion!
Yoda: Think you would straight cut his head off, I did not!
Luke Skywalker: [looking at the body] Hmm, he kinda looks like me.
Yoda: Yes, kind of looked like you he did! Jump out and scare you he would, and reveal his face to you he would, and blown your mind would be!
Luke Skywalker: What was the point?
Yoda: To make you think!
Luke Skywalker: Ohh...? Like I was fighting myself, or something like... wha...
Yoda: TO! MAKE! YOU! THINK!

Yoda: [as a Force ghost on Endor at the end of Return of the Jedi] Blows, this party does.

Emperor Palpatine: [Palpatine is falling down the reactor shaft] Wait a minute...
[takes out his cell phone and dials frantically]
Emperor Palpatine: Execute Order 67!
[Ewoks answer the phone and start dancing and singing]
Emperor Palpatine: Doesn't sound like Order 67... no, no, wait, wait, yes it does, yes it does. I meant 68! Execute Order 68!

Anakin Skywalker: [as Anakin lies next to the lava after their duel, Obi-Wan picks up his lightsaber] Wait... are you fucking robbing me?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I'll give it to your son some day if Padme isn't, you know, dead. I mean, she looked pretty dead to me... from up here... on the high ground!
Anakin Skywalker: Wait, wait! Wait wait wait! I'm literally cooking to death. Please, just kill me!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: That's not the high ground wa- I mean the Jedi way! You know what I'm saying, I'm saying I've beaten you, and I'm on the high ground, so... high ground!
[leaves]

Emperor Palpatine: Excellent! Order 66 was a complete success.
Darth Vader: My master, what were the first 65 orders?
Emperor Palpatine: I'm glad you asked!
[starts singing to the notes of Turkey in the Straw]
Emperor Palpatine: Oooooh... Capture me a Wookie, kick a princess in the cookie, sabotage the espionage of a Bothan spy! Activate the trash compactor, let's protect the main reactor, stab a smuggler in the jugular and watch him die! Corrupt a teen from Tatooine, manipulate a Gungan and kill Naboo's queen! Trap a Mon Calamari, take a Tauntaun on safari, hit a topless bar on Mustafar with artist Ralph McQuarrie! Ooooh... Number 13 find investors, number 14 make a Death Star, while you're at it draw some plans up for my Death Star Two! I'll unmask a dirty Jawa, crank-call General Dodonna, clone a load of cannon fodder out on Kamino-
[guitar breaks]
Emperor Palpatine: ... You know what, I'll just email you a PDF or something.
Darth Vader: [panicked] If-if you don't have the time... whenever you get around to it...!

Emperor Palpatine: [about young Boba Fett] Apparently, we are contractually obligated to follow that dumb kid's story too. That's what happens when you sell the most action figures! Thank you, fanboys!

Emperor Palpatine: [Palpatine is falling down the reactor shaft] You know, looking back it all makes sense. Dream big... live big... love big... fall to your death down a giant fucking hole! Now I know, which is exactly zero percent of the battle apparently.

Emperor Palpatine: [on the phone] Jar Jar, it's Palpatine! Look, I-I need to apologize for manipulating you into granting me emergency powers. It was wrong, and I'm sorry.
Jar Jar Binks: Oh, say yes! Right Palpy... yousa manipulated me! Okay, Palpy.
[Jar Jar hangs up the phone and starts laughing demonically while pulling on a Sith robe]

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