Martyrs

I have to start off by saying that I believe that the French version of the film is the most depression, soul-wretchingly horrific movie I have ever seen in my life. It is a masterpiece in the use of atmosphere, nuance, and tact in horror film-making, and will most likely not be topped as a horror film for quite some time. This Blumhouse version is NONE OF THAT. Imagine if someone told you that France has the best burger you have ever tasted. You want to eat it so bad, but you don't want to travel to France or learn to read the menu at the restaurant because you are lazy. You wait for an American chef to create the same burger, but the meat is dry, it has no lettuce, tomatoes or pickles, and the condiments lack taste. That is exactly what you are getting with this remake. It is tasteless, like New York BBQ is tasteless compared to Texas BBQ. Like Taco Bell is compared to REAL Mexican Tacos. It lacks any redeemable elements that would make it palatable for anyone over the age of 14, and who has a more refined palette. It is simply a hollow imitation of the French film. It tries so hard to shock and disturb, but in the end, it just makes you feel sorry for everyone involved. People woke up and went to work for this. They have their names attached to the credits. It will be a film they will be forced to use on their resume. It just makes me sad that production companies like Blumhouse can outright spit on real artistry in the name of profit margins. Blumhouse, you are the worst thing to happen to horror movies since the advent of Found-footage. You have ruined one of the most definitive horror experiences since The Exorcist, and your whole company should be ashamed of yourselves.

This film was absolute garbage and an insult to horror films. We will never speak of it again, and never within the same sentence as the original. A complete and utter failure, it should not be seen by anyone. It is, without a doubt, one of the worst films ever made, regardless of genre.

I'm not even going to lay out a plot blurb for this, because if you are planning on seeing it, chances are you have already seen Pascal Laugier's 2008 original and know what's up. In fact, it's probably not inaccurate to say that the only people who may be seeing this film are those already acquainted with the source material, as this remake had virtually zero publicity, a sad excuse of a theatrical release, and a buzz that was DOA.

By most accounts, this remake of "Martyrs" was doomed by the mere fact of it being a remake; it's difficult to outdo something with as much palpable intensity and thematic abhorrence as the original film. and that's precisely where this film most falls flat. There is an inexplicable feeling of shallowness to the picture that pervades it from nearly beginning to end. Part of it is the lackluster cinematography, and part of it is the lack of dynamism in the performances, but most of all, it feels like the filmmakers in general were dispassionate about the material itself, and it shows.

The truth is, a remake could have worked, but it would have needed at least a little life breathed into it, and this film feels like it was taken off life support from day one. The script here is near identical to the original film's, and it begins as a near shot-for-shot remake, but falls off that train within the first ten minutes. In fact, the film only really begins to diverge in the final act, which is honestly where I found the it to be most convincing. I may be the minority here, but I actually thought the way they rewrote the conclusion was clever and intriguing without being too much of a touchy-feely tradeoff—it still maintained the dark nerve of the original's ending, which I respected, and the last five minutes may be the only portion of the film that I truly thought was worthwhile.

The acting here is decent, but the lead female actresses at times seem to be going through the motions. Some obtuse dialogue doesn't exactly help matters either. Kate Burton is an interesting and solid choice for the cultist matriarch, and I actually enjoyed her performance in this quite a bit.

Overall though, "Martyrs" only barely begins to scratch the surface of what the original film did, and it's unfortunate. It fails to capture any of the remote coldness, psychological disconnect, or stark brutality that made the original film so unforgettable, and ends up feeling like little more than a direct-to-video horror flick with about a fifth of the vitality. When watching the remake, one feels like the film is self-consciously going through the motions, and when taking into consideration its stodgy demeanor, failed distribution, and complete lack of any and all promotion, "Martyrs" 2016 ultimately feels like a production that was given up on before it had even begun. Where the original was gutsy, stylish, and unsparing, the remake manages to be the film equivalent of a death rattle. 4/10.

The original film is one of my favorite horror movies, so I went in with very low expectations. I was very nervous to watch a remake, especially of a film that was so brutal, heart wrenching, and yet beautiful at the same time. Even though I had low expectations, I was still disappointed. They changed too much, and it wasn't as beautifully done, or as brutal as I expected. If I had never seen the original I may have actually enjoyed this one more. This is one of those movies is recommended to people that enjoy American horror movies, and don't want to read subtitles. But if you love horror movies, and don't mind reading a little, then this one would be a let down to all of the amazing foreign films out there.

The original Martyrs is one of my favorite horror movies of all time. I'd even rank it up there with The Exorcist, another film that pushed the envelope and was ahead of its time. Unfortunately, because of the original's cult status, a remake was inevitable. Does it do the original any justice? I can't say that it does. And I honestly feel bad for the directors. They were simply set up for failure. If you are curious about the remake, watch it. I'd read the bad reviews, but I still had to see how it held up to the original. Just too bad it doesn't at all. I will say the acting and score were decent. Again, not as good as the original, but good nonetheless. If you've never seen the original or remake, please watch the original first. Yes, you will have to read subtitles, but I'm gonna assume most of you have a third grade education and can read.

Martyrs (2016) is yet another pointless remake that is completely inferior to the original. Have you ever heard one of those trashy Kidz Bop covers of a pretty good song? This remake is like a Kidz Bop version of a heavy-metal song. The entire movie just put a foul stench in my mouth. It is neutered down to its core. There isn't anything disturbing, horrifying, or shocking like there was in the original. Hell, there isn't even a lot of blood in this one. It's hard to just simply describe how horrible it is, so I'll just use another analogy. Let's say the class genius is taking a test, right? So the big class goofball decides to sit down next to him and cheat off his test. He copies most of the test, but then there's the essay section. The smart kid is moving along with it, writing in his own unique way. The catch is that he writes really fast. So the dumbo has to quickly copy down everything he's writing. After they finish, the smart kid has a pretty good essay but it's not his best work. The noodlehead kid has an incomprehensible copy of the smart kid's essay, so much so that sentences are out of order, and the essay prompt isn't even answered. Even if you take the original out of the equation and call this remake an original movie, it's still garbage. One of the saddest attempts at a remake I have ever seen.