Succhiami

"This is all because of me...I'm the center of the...me, me, me!!!" This is a spoof of the "Twilight" series. Spoofing parts of all 4 movies as well as many others. I have to start by saying that I am not a "Twilight" fan at all. I thought "Breaking Dawn - Part 1" was OK but the other ones I fell asleep in. I open with that to say that I would rather watch a marathon of all of them before watching this again. Most spoofs add parts of other movies in a spot where they make sense. This one felt like in the middle of a scene they were like...put this in, most of the time it didn't make sense. During a fight scene all of Johnny Depp's characters come out for no apparent reason. I thought that "Vampires Suck" was OK, but this was not. The only good thing is the very end when they show actual peoples reactions to watching trailers for ""Eclipse" and I only cracked a smile at that part. Overall, unless you like watching people fart and poop a lot I would avoid this one. I did however think the fact that they made Jacob a fat guy was kinda neat. This is not a good movie at all though. I give it a D+.

I write this review as a fan of bad movies in general. I've tried to watch my way through lists of the worst movies ever and thus came upon this film. So please take that into consideration when I say that this movie belongs near the top of my "Most Hated" list. It's worse than the Friedberg/Seltzer parodies and far less creative than anything the Wayans brothers have done. It is truly one of the most demented cultural products I have ever witnessed.

That all of the jokes consist in flatulence, excrement. The viewer is subjected to a 71 minute barrage of content that ranges from the lazy to the outright revolting, such that I am baffled that anyone involved in the production of this movie ever thought anyone might enjoy it. Scene after scene is revealed to be nothing more than the set-up for someone having diarrhea or snot in their nose.

To top it off, the movie concludes by mocking various online videos of Twilight fans gushing about how much they loved Eclipse. At this point, the full enormity of Breaking Wind is clear. No one connected with the making of this movie has any right to criticize Twilight fans for anything. Yes, their fandom is excessive and embarrassing, but I'll take that any day over this movie that revels in its own vulgarity and offensiveness and a filmmaker that takes a cynical delight in assaulting the sensibilities of his audience.

Finally, it's worth noting that if you haven't seen the Twilight films, a decent number of the "jokes" in this movie will be incomprehensible to you. It relies heavily on its audience having watched multiple movies of the Twilight saga, making it unclear exactly who it is trying to reach.

It's not funny, not competent, not creative, and not worth anyone's time watching.

I won't go into any details. The movie is called Breaking Wind for a reason. I could have made a better spoof of Twilight with a smart phone. This is the first review I have ever written because I felt compelled to warn people that they may in fact have a stroke during this pile of trash. The spoofs of old, like Airplane and The Naked Gun have given way to the worst of the worst, and this movie is so bad I do not even have a word for it. I assume this movie is like going through drug withdrawals because I was in the floor in brutal pain and agony. I made it to the end without croaking, but it was close. If you plan on watching this, then have an oxygen tank ready along with speed dial to 911 in case of impending death.

I will admit up front that I did not finish "Breaking Wind", although I tried. The reason is that the film was probably the filthiest and unfunniest film I've ever seen...and it's the sort of stuff 6 and 7 year-olds would find funny but a sane parent isn't going to let kids this age watch the movie. This is because the jokes are NEVER funny and all I saw were jokes about a wide variety of sex acts, farting, people being bitten on the buttocks--and the barrage of this sort of stuff was CONSTANT. It wasn't funny the first time and it wasn't funny when they were repeated ad nauseum. And this is the basis for every supposed joke!! Now don't get the idea I am a complete prude--a movie can be a bit racy yet funny ("Step Brothers" comes to mind--it's crude but also funny). But this wasn't the least bit funny or clever and the shock value disappears immediately because EVERY joke was about the same small repertoire of material. It's really hard to imagine anyone getting paid to write this and I am pretty sure everyone in the film must have felt embarrassed because it was so incredibly unfunny and stupid. Overall, an assault on your intelligence and a film every bit as unfunny as cancer.

I usually don't say things like this, but Craig Moss...NEVER write another film. Please!

Breaking Wind...(sigh) Knowing that this movie is supposedly a spoof of the Twilight Saga, I thought that this COULD have been a decent comedy, like Vampires Suck. Now don't get me wrong, Vampires Suck was a horrible movie, but if you just have fun with it, Vampires Suck will have a few chuckles with you.

But Breaking Wind is just bland and unfunny. I kept saying to myself, "Don't be serious, it's a comedy", but not even Danny Trejo saved this piece of crap.

If you think that I'm being to harsh for a spoof movie, think again. There are literally fart jokes every 5 goddamn minutes. Who the hell in their right mind would think fart jokes are funny? The writers must have been retarded.

But their is a silver lining though. And that's Jacob, or more specifically, Fat Jacob. I don't know why but I just found him funny. It must be because he's fat. Hmmm.

Overall, a very crappy movie. Why the producers would think to finance this movie is beyond me. Didn't they even bother to read the script? And why the hell are the Johnny Depp characters in this? Ran out of ideas, probably.