The Package/Wired/Cookie/Little Monsters/The Little Thief

Roger Ebert - Host: [reviewing "Little Monsters"] I don't know who this movie is intended for. It's obviously not for adults, who couldn't care less about monsters in the woodwork or under the bed, but it has too many offensive scenes and concepts in it to be appropriate for smaller children. And even kids who love monsters are likely to be turned off by the Howie Mandel character. Now, I have to give Mandel credit for a good acting job. He does create an incredibly unlikable and repulsive monster, and he does a good job of that. It's just that the whole movie feels unwholesome and deeply troubling, and really creepy, and I didn't enjoy myself for ONE second while I was watching it, and afterward, I thanked God that I wasn't eight years old, because then I would never be able to go into a bedroom again.

Gene Siskel - Host: [chuckles] Oh, my goodness. Uh, uh, first of all, let's get specific, because obviously, some very specific images bothered you, and they bothered me as well. I don't think it's a particularly great idea for a kid's movie to show somebody urinating into a, uh, apple juice bottle.

Roger Ebert - Host: And then getting another kid to drink it.

Gene Siskel - Host: Yeah, I mean, I just don't think that makes a lot of sense. Putting saran wrap over a toilet seat, I mean these are, y'know... sometimes, they're, they can be funny jokes the way they're handled, I suppose, but they don't work in this picture. It's like a primer for how to really screw up your whole neighborhood and family. I mean, and then there's a whole bunch of sequences involving little kids in the underworld, where they're all dressed like sort of punk rockers and all this, and I just felt sorry for the kids that had to put on those costumes.

Roger Ebert - Host: There's a glorification of images of death in the movie. All of those people in the underworld seem to decayed...

Gene Siskel - Host: That's correct.

Roger Ebert - Host: ...Diseased, uh...

Gene Siskel - Host: Deformed.

Roger Ebert - Host: ...Depraved in some way or another...

Gene Siskel - Host: Yeah.

Roger Ebert - Host: ...In a way that is supposed to be funny to kids. It's only funny to kids who are already tuned into that kind of sick material. I don't like to THINK that kids would like that.

Gene Siskel - Host: Yeah, I, y'know, by knocking this picture so hard, we probably are sending a couple people to it out of curiosity. The same stuff could be handled well. By comparison, "Beetlejuice" is a terrific film. I didn't think it was all that great, but by comparison, that film had a little joy to it. This is kinda depressing.