Spiders 3D

Spiders (2013)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Another "big monster" movie with this one here centering on a Russian space station that crashes into the subway system of New York City. At first the "issue" seems to be clearing itself up but soon giant spiders are on a killing spree. SPIDERS somehow managed to get a theatrical release, which is kinda strange considering this really isn't any better than the type of monster pictures that show up on SyFy week after week. This is certainly far from a horrible film but I honestly couldn't recommend it over countless other low-budget "B" movies that I've seen here the past decade. At least with the movies that you see on SyFy they are cheap, fun and offer up some sort of badness. SPIDERS, on the other hand, really isn't all that fun. The title of the movie should have been "Walk Around and Talk" because that's pretty much what happens throughout the running time. We're introduced to our "heroes" who pretty much argue with one another as they walk through the streets of New York seeing all the destruction. As for the spiders, the effects are slightly better than what you'd see on SyFy but at the same time they're still pretty cheap and aren't very convincing. The look of the spiders aren't too bad as they're at least mildly entertaining. Of course, they were in 3D in the movie theater so watching at home I wasn't able to judge that. The death scenes in the film are mostly forgettable and there's just nothing special to any of them. The PG-13 rating certainly holds the film back from being "more" and, again, the stuff you see on SyFy is better.

Okay, if you like trash, this might be the movie for you. The 3D is AWFULLY converted and makes your eyes bleed without any visible depth... The acting is horrible. Christa Campbell cannot move her face because of all the botox, and Patrick Muldoon has seen better days and there is a sense of desperation radiating from him during the whole movie. And no, it does not have to do with his role. The story is on SyFy Channel level, the FX are slightly better than usual in a production like this one... If you have to see every monster movie on the market, than give it a try, but you have been warned. Don't expect "Eight Legged Freaks" from outer space as the movie takes itself so seriously, that there is not the slightest sense of humor in this production. At least not wanted one. The second star is only for the decent special effects... What a waste of money...

I liked this movie. Not a lot of new ground here. There have been almost as many spider movies as shark movies. The spin here is that the spiders are a hybrid with some kind of alien. Even though some of the acting is poor and the story is thin what makes this movie stand out are the monster effects. The Queen Spider is especially well done and menacing. I was really surprised by how good she came out. There are a few points when the CGI freezes, but that wasn't too long.

This is a pleasant surprise.

As a person who always had a love for monster movies, and spiders in particular, then it was a thrill to stumble across this movie. Initially I had feared that it would have been much worse than it actually turned out to be, as the genre of monster movies tend to turn out to be campy, goofy and usually have horrible effects that are just downright painful to watch.

This 2013 "Spiders" movie, however, did come to prove my initial fears wrong. Especially because the spiders in the movie were actually quite nicely animated and looked realistic enough. Well, as realistic as you can go when dealing with a 6 foot arachnid. The creature designs were nice and held lots of good details, and it was greatly helped along the way by the good CGI. One thing did bother me though, and it was the sounds they opted to put on the spiders. Growling, screeching and hissing, come on now, seriously? It just gave the spiders a cartoon-like quality that didn't really help them along in any way as for being menacing or monstrous.

About the storyline, well it is fairly straight forward textbook scripting here; a top secret non-American experiment that took place it outer space crashes down on Earth - in New York, of course - and with it came the mutated arachnids that grow at an accelerated pace, becoming a threat to all of New York in record time. And it is up to a small handful of people to put a stop to this outer worldly threat before it is too late.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Straight out of the Hollywood 'how-to-make-a-monster-movie' manuscript. Campy story? Check. Unlikely heroes? Check. Grotesque monsters created by the hands of science? Check. Super predictable? Check. Everything you need here for a basic monster movie is present.

As for the people in the movie, well then it was fairly ordinary performances here, with mostly no outstanding performances, aside from possibly Patrick Muldoon. People did good enough jobs with their roles and characters, but there was just an general sensation of lack of enthusiasm lurking behind some performances.

Despite not adding anything new or jaw-dropping to the genre, then "Spiders" does provide good entertainment, because it is a fast-paced movie that lets you see the spiders a lot and in good detail. "Spiders" is a no-brainer; the type of movie that just lets you disconnect your brain and just ride along for the fun and entertainment. If you enjoy monster movies, then "Spiders" is well worth a watch.

When a meteor shower hits an old Soviet space station in the orbit of Earth, parts and debris crash into the New York subway tunnel near the Noble Street Station. The traffic controller Jason (Patrick Muldoon) sends his colleague Jimmy (Atanas Srebrev) to inspect the damage but soon he is found dead. The doctor finds a bite on his leg and eggs inside his body, and Jason takes one of them to ask his wife Rachel (Christa Campbell) to test in the laboratory where she works. When he goes with the subway security team to the location where Jimmy was found, they discover a nest of strong and carnivorous spiders. Meanwhile Col. Jenkins (William Hope) and the Russian scientist Dr. Darnoff (Pete Lee-Wilson) discuss the special breed of spiders genetically developed in the space with zero gravity that would build a powerful nest that would be used in military purpose. Further, they need the queen's egg that Jason gave to his wife. Then and he lies to the population telling that there is a deadly virus in the neighborhood where Jimmy was found and they hunt Jason and his family. When they recover the egg, Col. Jenkins put it in the nest to raise the queen and decides to execute everyone that is aware of the spiders. Will he succeed in his plan?

"Spiders" is a film with a lame and stupid story from the beginning. How can the colonel lie and execute people in a democratic country the way he did? By the way, why execute people? Just to keep the spiders in secret? In a situation like that, why keep powered trails in the subway. The spider queen can resist to machine gun, bazooka, but a traffic operator is capable to contain the giant insect with a steel bar. The corny conclusion with husband and wife forgetting the divorce is also awful. The cinematography and the effects are reasonable but the acting is terrible. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Aranhas" ("Spiders")