Paixão

The movie starts with a guy being kidnapped by a woman. The dude, who spends the majority of the movie with his shirt off (guess why), then says "You must think this is funny, huh?", with the annoying voice of a posh boy who lost his conditioner in the shower. I immediately started laughing, as I knew this movie was going to be laughably bad. I wasn't wrong. The plot is an idiotic pastiche of Almodovar's "Ata-me" and other movies about Stockholm Syndrome. The acting is atrocious. The cinematography is mostly bizarre (e.g. in one scene, the woman starts walking towards a wall with food on her hands, god knows why). The directing is on par with Ed Wood. The only reason to watch this is if you find bad movies funny. If, like me, you are a MST3K fan, then don't miss this, there are a lot of riffing opportunities here. If not, spare yourself the pain of watching the worst Portuguese movie of all time.