Ninja contro Alieni

I've never seen an Alien vs. Predator movie, but I can now say I've seen the (probably superior) Alien vs. Ninja.

This still isn't great, but for a movie called Alien vs. Ninja, it could've been much worse. The biggest criticism I have is that it felt a bit like it was trying to be a Ryûhei Kitamura film (what with the crazy blend of genres and goofy action scenes and all), but didn't have the same magic his stuff has. This is no Final Wars, Versus, or Azumi, even if some of its more gonzo moments suggests it kind of wants to scratch the same itch those films do.

The schlock in this film is sometimes charming though, making it better than anything the Asylum farts out. It's one-note as a movie, and all the action/alien scenes do start to feel repetitive, even with the runtime just being 80 minutes.

But it's the sort of movie that made for perfectly mindless weekend viewing, and I had a decent amount of fun with Alien vs. Ninja, flaws and all.

This is another weird, wacky Japanese genre effort in the same vein as Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl and Robo-Geisha. The title says it all: a group of ancient Japanese ninja end up going claw to sword (and eventually sword to sword) with some monstrous aliens (that look suspiciously like people in moderately expensive Halloween costumes). 

There's really no more story beyond that and a hinted at love triangle between two of the male shinobi and their female counterpart. Nothing about the "aliens" is explained, they just show up and start swiping people's heads off and fiercely trying to grab boobs. Alien vs Ninja isn't as gross or ultra-violent as many similar movies can be, but it does have its moments. People get ripped in half and have little mind-controlling aliens crawl up their noses, and plenty of pink pepto bismol alien blood flows all over the place. 

AvN won't win any awards for storytelling or production values, but it's a goofy and occasionally fun way to waste some time. There are better similar movies, but genre fans should find it worthwhile.

This is a strange Anime-like, Power Rangers reminding Action-Splatter-Comedy. Doesn't this say all? Yeah it's sounds stupid but it's still entertaining as hell. Although it's done really cheap, reminding of some strange 90s series, I had to watch it until the end. It was original and contained quite a lot of cool ideas, the movie didn't take itself seriously and kept a nice grade of tension which I truly did not expect. The actors performance was nice, I wouldn't say the actors were bad at all they simply played strange roles. The whole feeling you get watching this is like: I'm watching something old-school, but no you are not! I have to admit, I will watch it again, perhaps not tomorrow but maybe this year and I won't regret it. Especially for folks who play video-games this might be really enjoyable.

ALIEN VS NINJA is a low rent sci-fi flick from Japan which basically sees a director assembling a handful of actors, taking them out to the woods and filming a series of short, brutal and ballistic fight sequences while trying to string together something resembling a plot. It's kind of like the zombie film VERSUS, yet lacking that movie's finesse and vitality, probably because the budget is a great deal lower. Instead of a plot, we get cheesy humour, even cheesier computer graphics and the dodgiest looking alien since the days of the '50s-era B-movie.

Sexy ninja Mika Hijii spends much of the running time battling the alien threat in a skin-tight PYC costume; the director ensues she's either doing the splits or flying through the air artfully at all times. The aliens are silly and kind of fun, and the hyper-kinetic action can be a hoot at times. There are touches of black comedy, like a crow plucking at a severed head's eyeball, thrown into the mix as well.

Is this a good movie? Far from it: it's dumb, plot less, predictable and clearly made on the cheap. Is it an entertaining movie? To a degree, yes; not something I'd consider watching again (it lacks the genuine B-movie intricacy of a film like CYBORG COP) but it passes the time for undemanding genre fans.

Again and again people are having trouble with flicks coming from Japan. They used to be extremely gory but the scene over there evolved too and got a bit away from the gore. Still, they deliver weird flicks with fast moving ninja's or other persons. In other words, you have to understand there way of living, I mean the Eastern philosophy, to appreciate such a flick. I've waited a few months to get my hand on an official release, finally it's out in our region. And it was worth the wait for me. I enjoyed it because it had a bit of humour and gore in it. Naturally you have to dig ninja to enjoy it. First of all, the alien will be a let down for so many people. It doesn't look like "alien" it's more based on Godzilla and sometimes it's CGI and sometimes it's a man in a suit. Even the ninja's look a bit weird, you have the macho type more busy with his hair, a coward too old to fight and a real ninja. Naturally there's a female ninja too and it's funny to see that the alien wanted to grap her breasts. There is so much fun in it that you can't take it seriously. But it clocks in under 90 minutes and that's good. The first 20 minutes is all about stupidity and comedy, after that the gore and red stuff appears. If you know that the director also was responsible for "Ninja" then you know what I mean. You love this one or you will hate it, there's no in-between.