Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle

All the same talking points. All the same overly long shots. All the same poor pacing. All the same wooden characters. All the same stilted dialogue. All the same unnecessary driving and walking. All the same million-dollar deals. All the same creepy guys staring at woman strangers who then fall madly in love with that guy - for no real reason. Nothing new to see here by the filmmaker who comes off as nothing more than an activist.

Global Warming. Climate change. Over and over and over again. Well the writer/director has no issues with pushing carbon emission into the air from his cars in his movies with his VERY LONG driving sequences, all the while harping the evils of just that.

Surprised to see that there was a third instalment of the Birdemic franchise and wonder as to why it took so long to come out (the second film released in 2013). Nearly a decade later, and somehow this film managed to be worse than both previous films. It is as if director James Nguyen has not learned anything and that he doesn't have a good support team around him giving him advice and feedback.

Given its rating and majority negative reviews, am not surprised this film was terrible. Opposed to the first two films, those had somewhat a sense of campy awareness and had some cheesy fun.

This third film is simply just boring and drags on. The two leads here are terrible (lead actor isn't convincing and sounds unnatural while lead female seems like she doesn't want to be there- no chemistry).

As others have pointed out. The birds (animated cgi birds) don't appear until nearly an hour in the film. Also what bothers is the main characters were openly seeking to kill the birds (we see then wander in the forest and beach with guns looking to kill them- why did they just not leave the birds alone? The birds were not bothering them at that point. We also see random people on their street near their houses try attacking the birds. For them as well. Why did they not just leave the birds alone, go back in their house or go travel elsewhere in their cars?

Also like the previous films, there's a brief karaoke dance scene. The song here is worse and not as catchy and the leads dancing was cringe. Overall Birdemic 3 managed to be the worse of the series and is one of the worst films in history. We wonder, Is this it or will there be a fourth film on the future.

For a movie that "tries" to be the horror version of Captain Planet and failed royally (if that wasn't a clue from the last movies). It doesn't help that not only story doesn't improve , but there acting for the third time makes tommy wiseau look like John cena.

Outside of minor changes and by minor I mean mononucleosis changes...bad weapons, bad messages of climate change, bad cgi did I forget to say bad cgi birds? Yeesh just watch the birds and throw these 3 movies in the computer trash bin Before I go I will say this: it's really hard to say anything about this when the weapons are the same damn things.

"Birdemic 3 came out today, and Nguyen is already planning a fourth. But all I can think about is Evan Husney's sad portrait of a man who desperately wants to be a respected filmmaker but is so unable to let go of the movie that made him a cult hit that he sabotages himself."

This is what Ed Glaser wrote on Twitter alongside a clip of James Nguyen in a documentary from Vice, displaying his apparent inability to move on from the Birdemic phenomenon -- while leaving us confused whether he understands how deeply hilarious his movie about the attack of the killer bird GIFs truly is, or at least why this is so.

After all, the previous movie was trying to be funny on purpose. Alas, it is typical for a "so bad that it's good" filmmaker to lack the self-awareness to understand why people were laughing in the first place (just look at what happens when Tommy Wiseau, director of the legendarily inept The Room, tries to make us laugh INTENTIONALLY with The Neighbors) and sure enough, Birdemic 2 was just plain unwatchable.

Now, for some reason, Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle IS actually kinda funny.

Nguyen leans into what made the original movie so transfixingly terrible (the constantly shifting audio quality, white balance, and saturation seem all the more jarring with the improved picture quality) but isn't trying to be cheeky about it. The impression I got was that of a filmmaker who, deep down, does think this all looks really cool and that these sub-PSA "insights" about global warming and environmentalism are genuinely profound (one is reminded of bad movie legend Neil Breen, who still plays everything straight, possibly because he knows how hilarious that makes him).

But then, the movie does come with the additional (depressing) undertone generated by what we know from the aforementioned documentary: this is all Nguyen has in him. I was pondering this as I watched, but promptly forgot about all that when I heard a track by Melodysheep (composed for his sublime YouTube doc about life in the cosmos and its inevitable fate) among the stock music.

He's got taste, that James Nguyen.

Let me start out with this...

If you liked Birdemic 1 & 2, do yourself a favor, and skip this entry. I'm dead serious. Don't bother.

You thought waiting 30mins (Birdemic 1) or 45 mins (Birdemic 2) to see the bad cg birds was bad?? Try waiting an hour in an hour and 23min long movie, and somehow, the birds look actually worse than they did in the prior two installments. Hell, Alan Bagh doesn't even show up in the movie until just after the birds. But you know what you do get to see?? The absolute worst & stiffest acting humanly possible by "paid professionals."

Once again, James Nguyen follows the same plot as he did the last two times, but somehow... worse. Each scene is some random person spewing exposition at the lead actors, sounding like they're just reading wikipedia articles held up by James off scene. Each character preaches at length in each scene, making the movie seem to last an eternity, despite being just a few minutes.

Hell, there is literally a scene where we watch the lead man watch tv for 5 minutes, with the camera panning around him & room, as he eats a sandwich. Before that, we get to watch both leads stand on a pier & watch a 5 man protest of wikipedia reading & unemotional yelling for another 5mins.

Honestly, skip this movie. Unless you're going to see it in person, with Alan & James there, in the theatre, so you can ask them "Why?"