A dire il vero

This is a simple concept but carried out very well. Don (Tobias Menzies) and Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are a long-time, loving couple. They live in Manhattan. He is a Psychiatrist with what appears to be a thriving practice. She is a published writer who also teaches writing to small groups. They have a 23-yr-old son who works at a smoke shop and wonders what better might be in store for him.

Most of the first half hour of the movie establishes the setting and interactions between the couple, her mother, the son, some patients. Beth is writing her second book, her first novel, and seems to be having difficulty getting it published. Don always reads her drafts and tells her how good they are. He encourages her. Their relationship appears ideal.

Then it happens, Beth and her sister come upon Don in a shop, as they approach hear him tell his B. I. L. That he doesn't really think Beth's book is good but he praises it for her encouragement. Beth is devastated, she leaves without Don ever knowing that she overheard. Until days later, after Beth has been acting cold towards him.

And the rest of the movie is the real story, how they sort this out, how they develop an understanding of lying vs not hurting the others' feelings. In the process Don also learns how he might become a more effective Psychiatrist.

Good, interesting relationship movie. My wife and I watched it at home on DVD from our public library.

Write about what you know. That's the advice Beth (Julie Louis-Dreyfuss) dispenses to her writing students. It's also pretty much the path Writer-Director Nicole Holofcener has followed in her six feature films. Her stories center on urban upper middle class professionals.

Beth is an author who's latest novel hasn't sold yet and it's causing her some stress. Her husband, Don (Tobias Menzies), is a therapist who is also having some career doubts. They have a son (Owen Teague) who wants to be a playwright. Beth's sister, Sarah (Michaela Watkins), is an interior decorator who is becoming disenchanted with her work. Her husband Mark (Arian Moayed) is struggling actor. Plenty of first world angst to go around.

Holofcener and her cast are good enough to overcome some of the familiar tropes here and the theme of how to tread the line between honesty and (hurting one's) feelings is decently explored. David Cross and Amber Tamblyn as a passive aggressive couple in Don's care are terrific scene stealers. What's missing here is true bite. There's never a sense of either urgency or sharp insights. One never feels that any of the interlocking relationships are truly in peril. A hug, a kiss, or a hit of edible marijuana and all will be fine.

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS is a pleasant enough little movie, but, it's the epitome of a 'dramedy'- it falls just short of either of it's components.

It was hard to figure out what exactly the takeaways were from this casually paced 2023 comedy, but director/screenwriter Nicole Holofcener appears to prefer it that way because she has a uniquely ramshackle way of depicting the messiness of life through her comically flawed characters. The meandering plot focuses on a tightly knit group of upscale Manhattan narcissists basking in a culture of positivity only to fall apart when each is confronted with honesty. That's what happened to the central couple when Beth, a marginally successful novelist, finds out her failing therapist husband Don hates her latest book draft but doesn't have the temerity to tell her. Julia Louis-Dreyfus starred in Holofcener's superior "Enough Said" and plays the novelist here with her trademark wit intact. The rest of the expert cast perform in a typical Woody Allen-like deadpan manner including Jeannie Berlin as Beth's irascible mother and Michaela Watkins (she reminds me of Kathryn Hahn) as Beth's acerbically evasive decorator sister.

If you like Julia Louis-Dreyfus or Tobias Menzies, you may find this enjoyable to watch, as both do a fine job with their roles. Otherwise, this will seem like a slow way to spend a couple hours. The plot wanders around searching for a dramatic climax or a storyline that leads somewhere. However, it doesn't get anywhere in particular. It's much like a comedy routine that just wanders from one story to another. Not too surprising, as Julia Louis-Dreyfus helped make "Seinfeld" the somewhat chaotic program it was. Funny, often, but as a movie, it leaves me wanting a more structured story.

A better title would have helped too. Something more like, "How we offend people when trying to be supportive" would have been illustrative, albeit not as pithy. The one theme that did seem to be reinforced was scenery of New York, especially as experienced by privileged people. That was interesting for about 30 minutes, but then the movie needed to deliver more message, if it had hopes of being satisfying. I rate it a 5 for the fine acting of the leading characters, but no higher for lacking a better script and story development. The result looked like it needed refining to clearly communicate a message.

This is indeed a movie about feelings - the small stuff that feels huge, the little insecurities that loom large, the daily omissions that's pile up into dishonesty. And the thing is: every moment feels real enough to be recognizable and hilarious (and uncomfortable) all at once. And that's not just because I'm a middle aged guy who wants to be a writer and is scared to death his story/stories suck. This film felt relatable less because the circumstances mirrored my own and more because I'm a self conscious human. And my guess is we all are. This may not be a laugh at loud comedy, but it is about as relatable add it gets.