Scavengers

Still not exactly a soap. Not much better than one though. The German title "Space Soldiers" also promises something that sound more like an action movie than it is. But that is not the problem with Scavengers at hand here. The problem is, that while it's cute (and "dark"), it fails to impress on the jokes side. It tries hard to be funny and the actors are probably not as bad as they seem in this movie.

Unfortunately the timing is off and S.P. Flanery might try to outdo Steven Seagal with his performance here (alright it's not that bad. But still worse than anything else I've seen him do and I know he can act). Other than that you shouldn't be too fixed on the production values (because there are none), especially the cheap looking ... everything in it. Still they try their best to hide those things with fog/smoke inside a space ship(?). Yep it's that bad. If you still have a heart of Gold and can't be mad at the somewhat likable characters and some funny ideas (Twelve/Thirteen), you might like this more than you should. Until the end after end comes along ... maybe

The best thing I can say about this movie is that it's better than "Dark Metropolis." This is not saying much, to say the least; I turned it off after 10 minutes, if that...I would rather have slashed my wrists than watched that whole thing. I figured this had to be better. It almost was. Maybe. A bit.

I had a very bad feeling when in the first 90 seconds, we see an outer space battle & hear deep booming sounds each time one of the ships explodes & the rattatatat of space machine guns(!)...I don't expect movie makers to be physicists, but did they think that it's only screams that you can't hear in space? It's a VACUUM dummies; there is no sound transmission.

Kickin' special effects: -ship design by Edward Scissorhands. -"Hey gang, let's glue a bunch of keyboards & random crap to the walls & spraypaint 'em dark grey, it'll look keen!"

Capt Jekel talks as if his tongue was shot full of novocaine, but is VERY intense (whatever he's saying). He acts like William Shatner channeling Brad Pitt in "12 Monkeys" (who i always thought was silly). He also sounds constipated.

omg obligaroty shower scene walks around covered with blood for hours

Klassic Kuotes: "traitorous vixen"??? "your hate for him runs seductively deep"????? "there isn't a man i can't kill with the promise of a simple kiss."

costume had a lot of leg warmers left over, so they used them...as wrist warmers space chick with sexy blasters on her thigh

I think first I have to mention how sad I am to see how low Sean Patrick Flanery has fallen since his inspired performance in "The Boondock Saints", to see him hamming it up as some cartoonish psychotic commander bad guy with a speech impediment that meant that he came over as nothing more menacing than a moron was truly horrifying and painful to watch.

The dialogue in this is stupid at best, certainly annoying and insulting to the intelligence of any who watch this waste of time. At times the dialogue was so ridiculous and forced that it only provokes a jaw drop at the idea that someone pitched this stupid script to a film maker and they actually made the film instead of throwing the script in the bin where it belonged.

The special effects could have been knocked up by any school kid with a computer, the sets were clearly "green screen" sets with poor quality computer modelling and rendering and the hard sets were clearly made by amateur props makers using such items as recognisable wireless computer keyboards glued to a surface and then spray painted to look like a console (They were doing that for such low budget TV programs as "Red Dwarf" which were infinitely more entertaining than this).

WARNING : Cheese Factor - Casu Marzu

So the movie is called "Space Soldiers", so you know what you can expect from the movie. Some sort of Space Battle with the focus on special effects. While watching the moving you will notice the movie is more based on dialogs and let me tell you those are BAD.

First thing to notice are the names. A weapon expert "Overkill", a good looking mercenary "Breathtaker", another "Mercenary girl" and they are fighting over a "Chaos Generator". My first impression was "awful", but then i notice its way easier to keep track of the names during the dialogs, if someone talks about someone called "Data Ocean" you know exactly who is meant. A nice trick but it doesn't make the movie any better. Too many clichés and flat dialogs which are not very well thought.

I can not recommend the movie, even with low expectations the movie is disappointing.

Where do we start...

The CGI was poor (bits looked like they were done on a ZX81), and in some sections of the movie the lighting was all wrong - highlighting the fact that the background was superimposed.

The acting was bad, really bad - no one was believable - but I guess a special mention really needs to be made regarding the "script" which was even worse (did someone get paid for this?). Some of the lines were just ridiculous and seemed at times to be trying to be funny (especially the "baddies" - Captain Jekel and sidekick BreathTaker).

The sound effects were, to say the least, interesting: I would never have thought to have machine gun noises for spacecraft fire.

All in all this is a howler and not worth the 90 minutes you will never recover.