The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

If it weren't for the talented actors and the notorious positive reviews and ratings spamming, I wouldn't have known that The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure existed. After seeing it to see if it was as bad as all that, a big part of me wishes it stayed like that. The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is really as horrendous as everyone says. The colours are bright, but not in a good way, the whole movie has a garish feel that only accentuates the movie's overall tackiness. The costumes are so creepy that they induce nightmares, Barney and the Teletubbies are tame in comparison, while the songs are some of the worst I've heard, the lyrics are incredibly childish and the tunes will leave you cringing. That they're badly sung doesn't help though. The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure isn't fun, educational or endearing in the slightest. The writing is as childish as the songs, with the humour and gags being enough to insult a 5 year old and traumatise children younger than that. They are not funny at all, and can be seen as inappropriate. Education value is low on the radar, people will almost certainly be saying "why am I being being "taught" something I already know?" and they won't appreciate that it's done in a way that talks down to them rather than engage. The story is full of repetition and goes nowhere a lot of the time, there are stretches where there is a strong temptation to nod off. 5 year olds won't even need to see this movie to do and learn the stuff that is shown in the movie, so that makes The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure pointless as well as repetitive and dull. Don't expect Christopher Lloyd, Cloris Leachman, Cary Elwes and Chazz Palminteri to make The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure watchable. They are saddled with characters that are impossible to like or engage with, dialogue that shows even them looking embarrassed and they are poorly utilised, they try but just can't do anything with what they're given. It is a waste of real talent, which is one of the worst things a film can commit in my opinion. And the less said about the truly obnoxious titular characters the better. In short, a horrendous movie, which along with Foodfight! is one of the absolute worst movies seen by me in a fair while. It fares terribly as a family movie, and is even worse for its main target audience too. 0/10 Bethany Cox

This had to be the worst kids' movie I have ever seen in my life; my four year old and I we were the only two in the theater watching it today; she must have asked me 10 times if the movie was over and if it was time to go. The voices didn't match up to the film and the whole thing was a big old' mess. The songs were silly and not in a good, silly for kids way; just silly and meaningless. We missed the first few minutes, which I usually hate, but I think that save us a few more minutes of misery. Perhaps the glow stick had something to do with the beginning that we missed, but she kept asking me what it was for. I like the idea of kids being able to interact, and maybe if there had been someone else in the theater, she would have been motivated to get up, but it just didn't work.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd consider putting myself up for adoption.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd fling fecal matter at the screen.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd throw a tantrum just to get taken out of the theater.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd never want to see another movie again.

This movie was not good.

Don't take your kids to see this garbage. There are TV shows far superior to this. There are classic movies far superior to this. Last year's Winnie The Pooh is perfect for kids. Show them that.

Not this sludge.

Well I just finished this film. Full disclosure, I lost a bet on whether the Pittsburgh Pirates would go above .500 this season and for some crazy reason they actually finished above .500 so I had to watch this film. With that said, I can say that at times I was thoroughly entertained.

Let's start with the acting, it's hard to imagine why some talented actors chose to work in this film but then it's not that hard to imagine when you think about the one day of shooting for the significant pay day. Listen, every actor or actress was just horrible in the film. Tony Braxton was so self centered that it was almost uncomfortable for me to watch and not one time do I remember her stating who she actually was in the film. Was she playing herself? I'm still left wondering about this one.

Cloris Leachman was the first respectable actress to appear and she essentially played a crazy person. Her character was obsessed with circles. If you just read that sentence and re read it because it didn't make sense then let me spare you the third re read, yes...she was actually obsessed with a circular shape. When the Oogielove trio enters her home and begins speaking with her they mention nothing about this psychopathic problem. If I entered a situation like that, my initial thought would be something like "What the hell is wrong with this woman? I gotta get outta here. This woman is crazy and I legitimately need to be worried about my safety." Instead Cloris's character induces the trio into a disturbing dance about circles that is sure to leave the audience questioning their sanity.

By the way, let me interrupt my character and acting assessment to quickly explain to you the plot of this film. The Oogieloves wake up in the morning and it apparently is their pillow's birthday. Once again, you read that correctly, it is their pillow's birthday. Now there is no explanation for why there pillow is alive or whether it can even speak at this point, as a viewer you just have to go with it and as I tried to immerse myself in the Oogielove world, just for a second I was able to believe that the group was really excited about there pillow's birthday.

Now we are introduced at this point to our first supporting character in the film, a window with a woman's face on it. Think Snow White mirror but a beautiful woman instead. I wish I could say that this talking mirror is the most unique and weird character in the film but frankly it probably doesn't even approach the top three. The talking mirror speaks with a southern accent for really no reason whatsoever. I'm not sure where the accent comes from but it is just accepted despite no one else in the film having that accent.

The window wakes up the Oogieloves and they look into her. She has the magical ability to see anywhere in their mysterious land so she shows them an approaching character. What character you may ask? Well this character is hands down the most unexplained and unbelievable character in the film, it's a talking vacuum cleaner. Why a vacuum cleaner? I repeatedly asked myself that question while watching the movie and came up with no good answer. I'm just going to assume they simply thought of a household object and for some reason believed a vacuum would make for an interesting character. They were wrong.

The talking vacuum accidentally lets go of some helium balloons for the surprise birthday party for the talking pillow because I think he tripped on the sidewalk. (There is a sentence I never would've believed I would've typed in my life.) So the Oogieloves trio set out to go and find the balloons for the party. Now at this point my spidey senses were tingling. I had a ton of issues with their decision making here. So you're telling me they can't just go buy 5 more balloons? The talking vacuum has an answer for that question. No, these are the last balloons in their world. Hmmmmmm...well played director, well played. Well truthfully, we learn later these are magical balloons that can sing but their song was really stupid and basic and I don't really think the talking pillow enjoyed it but I don't want to give away the ending for you all.

So the Oogieloves go from place to place and meet the celebrities. The worst acting performance (and believe me this was not an easy decision) had to go to Christopher Lloyd. In about 10 minutes of screen time he had 1 line...ONE. I mean really? He just blankly stared at the camera and then made weird threatening faces towards the Oogieloves when they stared at Jaime Presley the wrong way. And yes, we were to believe that Christopher Lloyd was hooking up with Jaime Presley. The sad fact is that this was not the most unbelievable subplot of the film.

Listen there is other characters in this film and other terrible story lines that are worth discussing but I think I've talked enough. It was a disturbing film and really entertaining at times. It was an awful film and I don't believe for a second that kids would actually enjoy it (kids aren't stupid) but from a satirical standpoint I somewhat enjoyed it. View at your own risk.

(As a side point you have to love the people that come on here and are hired to write reviews. They are so blatantly hired to write positive reviews and frankly it is comical.)

The Oogieloves In The Big Ballon Adventure is not only one of the worst movies i've ever seen, it's the worst children's movie i've ever seen! It's everything that's wrong with children's shows wrapped up into one movie. Having left the theater, i'm still incredibly shocked that a film this terrible got a theatrical release. First off, this is some of the laziest writing i've ever heard for a kids film. Just look at the characters names! Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie! And if you think that's bad enough, just wait until you hear some of the supporting cast characters names. Rosalie Rosebud, Marvin Milkshake, and the worst of all is Carey Elwes character's name Bobby Wobbly. The saddest of all is Christopher Lloyds role which is just embarrassing. You can tell for the most part though that none of the supporting cast wanted to be there because they aren't even trying at all. The plot of the film is as simple as it gets. The Oogieloves have the collect the 5 magical balloons they've lost and get them back in time for this big party they are about to have. You can pretty much figure out the whole movie from just that one sentence. What ensues is some of the worst jokes i've ever heard in a film and a bunch of lame dance/musical numbers. Now the Oogieloves is being marketed as a "revolutionary interactive movie-going experience". However, there is nothing revolutionary or original about it. If you've seen Dora The Exploreor or anything show similar of that, then you've seen everything that Oogieloves has to offer. There is nothing new here to see, except the material being taken to a new low. The writing is some of the worst i've ever heard for a kids film with all of the jokes involving some sort of gross out gag or flatulence jokes. The musical numbers are also very bland and the songs are not catchy at all. However, I can't really say the film bored me because it just kept irritating me and making me more and more angry by how awful it was. The fact that this is what people are accepting for children's entertainment is shocking and is exactly why all kids entertainment these days sucks! Oh, and don't buy into the "Academy Award Nominated Director" crap either, Matthew Diamond was nominated for Best Documentary for a film that nobody saw. I really can't think of anything else to say about this film besides how awful it is. Please Parents, do not take your kids to see this film!