Empress Vampire

People giving this low ratings aren't giving this enough credit. You have to rate this based on what it is - it's not a big budget studio production. But they still managed to have an interesting story, plenty of nudity, and even some interesting musical numbers. Yes, this believe it or not, this is a musical!

Ok, the acting is terrible and the secretary of defense looks like he's 30 years old. But I enjoyed it a lot.

I really enjoyed this movie. I knew it was a small-budget Indy, but it far exceeded my expectations! The cinematography was really quite good, and the story was very entertaining.

The star ruled every scene she was in, and what a beauty! Ange Maya is an extremely and unusually attractive woman - an ageless goddess of love. As co-producer and writer, she seems to be well in control. She may one of the most beautiful women in film. She is very sexy, as well, and that truly adds to her role as a seductive and strong Mistress of the Dark! There are several other beauties, but Ange owns this light hearted "horror" film.

Some of the funniest scenes involve law enforcement. If you see it, you will have fun! I gave it a high rating because it was so much fun and because of Ange.

This is what happens when you have a adult movie cast trying to do a movie with a plot. You can tell who was paid extra to go topless and who wasn't. So there's this immortal vampire Empress of China who leads a cult of subordinate vampires. The Secretary of Defense wants to recruit her as a secret agent, but trying to stop him is a Von Helsing (not a Van Helsing, because that would have required someone to do research) and a psychic.

The problem is the lead actress... you can barely understand what she is saying and her voice is kind of goofy... But she was willing to do nude scenes, which is what I suspect the director had in mind.

OH, yes. And musical numbers. It has musical numbers. Need I say more. Fake CGI Blood spurts. Cars driving against green screen backgrounds. The beginning of the movie looks like it was competently made, but then the later parts got cheap and kind of silly. You know, like they ran out of money halfway through.

This has to be one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. From the pathetic storyline to the awful dialogue. It surpasses the b movies of the 50's and 60's ... even the creeping carpet had a good sound track. I had to watch it in two sittings, the first one I thought ... I cant take any more of this, the second, lets's see if it redeems itself with some humour. Sadly that didn't materialise.

I'm always digging for b-horror movies, it's one of the great things on the world wide web. That said, the filmmakers on the set of "Aleta: Empress Vampire" seemed to have low expectations in the audience they would attract. 10 minutes into this simple yet over explained plot, I felt like an idiot for hitting 'play'. I just thought the idea of mixing some Chinese history into the cliche vampire story could be interesting and if all else failed at least there were boobs ( the boobs were the sole reason I gave it 2 stars instead of 1, judge me if you want but look where you are, why are you reading this?). Writing wise, there was only one moment in the movie, during Aleta's backstory, where I thought 'interesting', the rest I just felt disrespected as an audience member. Here's my list of technical issues I found too distracting to stay focused; the camera man has clearly never watched a movie or tv (nor the director for that matter), most of the special effects were obviously added in post, there were no sound effects just whatever the mic picked up, the fake accents were really bad and completely unnecessary, the acting is pretty much what you would expect...I could go on but I wouldn't want to spoil all the "fun". The things the director seemed to care about didn't make any sense and the things the director should have cared about he didn't at all because the audience will probably be too dumb to notice. I guess the issue is on my side of the screen because I know how the laces in my shoes work and I don't drool when I talk. If they tried to make this funny it could have worked, there were some unintentionally funny moments that made me wish the "filmmakers" didn't take themselves so seriously. I find it hard to believe that everybody behind the camera was proud of this one.

That's my honest opinion, I'm not going to tell you what to do.

Watched on tubiTV, 2019.