She Came from the Woods

Having grown up on 80s horror, I was excited to see what I thought would be a throwback to summer camp slasher movies. The fact that it was released in a local multiplex rather than direct to on demand upped my curiosity.

Unfortunately, the film is so tonally challenged that I couldn't enjoy it on any level. It's poorly written and not particularly scary or funny. On top of that, there are too many characters which make it impossible to care about any of them. Acting ranges from decent to awful. The villain is ill conceived and the supernatural element is uninteresting. Gore was ok at times, weak at others. As the movie progresses you just start caring less and less and wanting it all to end.

When the history of movie theaters in the 2020's is written, there will be some odd entries. Last year's Terrifier 2 and now She Came from the Woods seem like direct-to-streaming movies that somehow played theaters in towns with modest populations (20,000-30,000).

She Came from the Woods is certainly more enjoyable than the gross-out Terrifier 2, but it is not as fun as horror fans might hope. This is a retro-80's summer camp horror story that plays like a cross between Friday the 13th and The Evil Dead.

Some have pointed to the campfire story feel that some 1980's slasher films have, Madman being the most obvious. Therefore, it seems somehow appropriate that the screenwriters, Erik and Carson Bloomquist, credit their film's story as being based on stories told around campfires. However, that is also a problem. Around a campfire a story does not need much logic, but a film needs more of a cohesive story. She Came from the Woods just seems to have stopped with Friday the 13th meets The Evil Dead. There is not much else to it. The film does not even have an interesting backstory for its sometimes supernatural villainess Agatha. The killers in The Burning (a film namechecked in She Came from the Woods) and the original Friday the 13th had more reasons for committing murder than Agatha here.

Perhaps a bigger problem is that the film is not as fun as it should be. I laughed twice and grooved on the negative character with the blonde mullet who looked eerily like a schoolmate from high school (the character even acted a little like the real guy). Aside from those bits, I was not overly entertained. I liked the use of Kim Wilde's "Kids in America" over the opening credits, but wished the song had been used more memorably (like "Jessi's Girl" in Boogie Nights or "99 Luftballons" in Grosse Pointe Blank). The disbelieving policeman was kind of fun. I don't begrudge the matinee price I paid to watch She Came from the Woods, but I wouldn't watch it again.

For better 1980's horror nostalgia, I would recommend Deathgasm (2015), Lake Nowhere (2014), or You're Next (2011). She Came from the Woods did not bring enough to the party.

The acting was good, practical effects were solid, there were some jokes, and watching it in the theater was genuinely creepy, especially with the children's laughter in surround sound. I would say I watch most horror movies that come out and this is better than 80% of what's out there.

This paragraph is just to make my review long enough for the new six hundred character requirement instituted because Amazon's $1Billion snow ranked and got bombed on this site. Hopefully they change it back because this is a waste of my and everyone else's time for quite literally seemingly absolutely no reason. Boom six hundred characters there you go.

She Came from the Woods is trite and vapid, seemingly unaware of what makes the movies it purports to pay tribute to work. It doesn't provide any of the thrills, surprises, or guilty pleasures that make slashers tick. It feels like a sterilized notion of the sub genre as opposed to something that finds a path of its own or carries any real weight or knowledge about the half-century of films it lazily emulates.

The production is competent but entirely uninspired, with everything from the sets to the costumes to the cinematography being perfectly plain. The revelations and escalations hit hollow and most of the would-be horrific moments are marred by the inherent lameness of kids in camp clothes. It sometimes seems like She Came from the Woods could have been a home movie shot in someone's back yard.

Plot

In 1987, a group of counselors accidentally unleash a decades-old evil on the last night of summer camp.

Cast

One of my top 5 actors, William Sadler stars beside the consistently terrible Erik Bloomquist and a bunch of interchangeable 20 somethings who you'll recognize from something but they were so forgettable you won't remember what. Sadly Bloomquist not only stars but also writes and directs.

Verdict

When I read the premise I expected something comparable with Knights of Badassdom (2013) which though didn't meet my expectations was a perfectly watchable comedy horror. This isn't a comedy despite being advertised as such, there is no attempt at humour here it's a horror simple as and a very mediocre one at that.

Bloomquist who is more known for the more recent effort Founders Day (2023) presents this and hits us with every tired trope and cliche imaginable. It's uninspired, it's a tad boring, it's full of obnoxious characters, the antagonist is really shockingly poorly handled and even Sadler can't turn it around.

It's not that She Came from the Woods is bad, it's just lazy. Copy and paste from half a dozen other films and call it something original!

Rants

Did anyone actually see Knights of Badassdom? It's one of those films that though not great was still a memorable watch with a solid cast and yet nobody I talk to has ever heard of it! Ryan "True Blood" Kwanten, Peter "Game of Thrones" Dinklage, Summer "Firefly" Glau and the always excellent Steve Zahn! Seriously, it won't change your world but it's worth your time!

The Good

William Sadler 80's theme Always time for a camp theme!

The Bad

Forgettable cast Erik Bloomquist Shamelessly generic.