Assault Girls

I study long form film to see how it works.

Some times what I end up seeing doesn't work. That is the case here; only the costumes matter, and one episode has resonance. Does that one episode qualify this as long form?

Maybe. Long form has less to do with length than whether things evolve and the film has some chance of helping the viewer evolve.

The outer wrapper of this is a dreary ten minute initial narration that gives us completely irrelevant history. An inner wrapper that constitutes most of the hour has three young women (hardly girls) and a scruffy guy "playing" a virtual reality game. This is as much a waste. We never exit the game but we sometimes 'pause play.'

But smack in the middle is an odd sequence. Twice earlier we have a well photographed closeup of a snail. One of our 'girls' puts it on the head of a small weathered statue of a wizened it young traveler.

It is a very Katachi action. She and us study, admire and move on. In turn, each of the other three encounter it and we are supposed to get key aspects of their person from this. We don't, so that is a waste too. But that initial encounter evokes a deep inner narrative I have about some facet of Japanese spirituality and form, sex and striving in general and within my private shell what urgent peace is all about.

All the hard work was done by me, based on what boils down to one moving image. Would I call this long form? It had the effect of long form, but there was essentially no dialog between me and the artists.

In the midst of all the provocative narratives I had spinning within me (whether to fight, whether to seek grace), was one about other filmmakers and who I wish was my companion here.

Fruit Chan. His Public Toilet goes on and on, using lives I could not care about, folded casually. But at the end, oh what resurrection of everything that went before. That one scene connected with all else, in the film and without. Mastery. Now that's long form.

If you really want to watch this movie after reading all the reviews, I recommend renting rather than buying because I doubt that you would want to watch this movie twice. The CGI special effects were almost video game quality and minimal. Most of the time the characters are wandering around volcanic soil with no other discernible landmarks other than a small mountain in the background. There are too many slow moments when the camera would focus a close up on a snail, voice overs that sounded totally gibberish, and confusing plot lines. The characters were wooden with no developments and added little to the plot line. Worse, when the characters spoke, they often spoke broken English with bad accents under muzzle type face masks that made it very unintelligible (even to me, an Asian, that is used to bad English). I guess to some (0.01%) of the population they would say that this movie is arty or avante garde. But if you are looking for a fun movie full of hot girls with guns (as I expect you would by the title "Assault Girls") this ain't it.

For those who enjoy the work of Mamoru Oshii, you needn't read this review, for much like his previous ventures, including Ghost in the Shell, its sequel Innocence, and the Sky Crawlers, this particular feature is one that is sure to captivate and enthuse.

Separated into chapters, Assault Girls takes place in Avalon (F), a virtual gaming world where the avatars of real people must do battle with massive carnivorous monsters in order to score points. Those familiar with Role Playing Games will especially understand the importance of scoring points in order to successfully level up to gain better defensive and offensive capabilities.

Assault Girls focuses on three competitive women, vying for ascendancy in the virtual arena. Meissa Kuroki steals the show as the skilled tactician Gray, not least of all because she's more gorgeous than Aphrodite. Colonel, portrayed by Hinako Saeki, who viciously attacks with proficiency, is far nicer than her title might suggest, while Rinko Kikuchi as the skilled magician Lucifer, is easily the cutest character of all. Deserving a larger role, she dances across the battlefield, having, what could be assumed, the time of her life.

Despite the film's title suggesting the cast is comprised of women, joining the ladies in this adventure is Yoshikazu Fujiki as Jager, a glorified nomad with a violent temperament.

Although the visuals are not Hollywood standard, they are certainly engaging, while the additional sound, and Kenji Kawai's score (not to mention the Kotoko single Screw) project the viewer into an environment, that although desolate, is as engrossing as it is alive.

Despite each character's ability to use the English vernacular is well achieved, and listening to them occasionally poke fun at each other is enjoyable, it is plainly obvious that none of them are natural speakers. On the occasions when characters speak with masks covering their faces, the dialogue becomes less audible, and thus, subtitles are perhaps a good investment throughout the entirety of the film.

With the exception of the narrator, dialogue is seldom used in many instances. This aside, the director and actors alike are able to efficaciously express the character's motives and desires through their actions. Despite the ideas transcribed upon the screen at the start of each chapter being as thought provoking as they are entertaining, the way the character's use the game's environment is one of the most uniquely satisfying focuses of the picture. Where some characters respond to the environment by beneficially assisting it, others play with it, while others see it as a source of food, or destroy it completely.

Relying on neither intense violence or coarse language to tell its story, this entertaining, gripping, and occasionally laugh out loud funny feature proves that Mr. Oshii is a director whose work is as satisfying, as it is worthy of watching. With unfathomably beautiful women, captivating action scenarios, and intellectually stimulating ideas, Assault Girls may not appease everyone, but for fans of the director's previous work, this is certainly not to be missed.

I give this a 7 because of the Introduction: It was Long. Looooong. Talky-talky Loooooong. Boringly LONG! I began to wonder if I had mistakenly streamed a documentary.

But really, you don't need the beginning Blah-Blah-blah to enjoy this flick. So Fast-Forward past the first 8 minutes. Don't need it.

Now to enjoy this movie-- you get extra oomph if you are a Gamer, because this flick is speaking on a basic level about Gaming and what it does to people, and thru implication, to greater society. Now the other reviews have the plot firmly on the head. A couple of female players team up to take on a mega-dragon/sandworm.

But that's not really the plot-- it's a context. And the Movie itself, is a Commentary.

Warning-- especially to Gamers. Even though it's about a Game-- it's Not non-stop blood guts and explosions. Instead it's scenically poetic. And when the action happens it's very nicely FX-ed, but it's pointedly emplaced.

Instead, pay attention to the Characters and the direction the Dialogue is going. When the End comes, because I have placed an online game, I actually busted out laughing because IT MADE SENSE! And it was that moment that made the entire flick pleasantly enjoyable (Minus the 8 minutes of blah-blah-blah, that is) I wouldn't make this a Main event movie for a Saturday night though. I'd stage this as a Friday night runner-up with some friends. Even Better if ALL of you do online games. You'll get a kick out of this one.

Extra Warning-- Even though the lead actors are women, this is NOT a Girlfriend Friendly Flick. . .unless she's totally cool and she also plays online games with you.

Oh my god! This was such a waste of time.

First of all, it took forever to get through the intro with lousy still photos and a really, really annoying narrator speaking broken English (I believe it is called Japanese EngRish).

Then when the movie finally did start it had potential, but it all fell crashing to the floor so hard. The scenery in the movie was fantastic, and it had a kind of Fallout (games) feeling to it, being an all barren and broken wasteland. However, the movie spent way too much time in showing pointless and endless shots of the scenery. It was great at first, but it quickly became boring and annoying to look at.

Moving on to the characters. Well, to put it mildly, they were shallow drones without any personality. Their costumes were awesome, however. And a lot of detail had been put into these costumes. And that was one of the better parts of the movie actually. But the characters in the movie were two-dimensional and had no appeal - except for their costumes. And their lovely, funny Japanese EngRish was just priceless. Why not keep the movie all in Japanese? It would have worked so much better for the movie as a whole.

The CGI effects were actually cool and believable, and that was also one of the movie's stronger sides; one of the few there were.

One of the more annoying things in the movie was the sound effects during the brawling scene between Gray and Jäger. That whole comedy approach failed on an epic scale.

In overall, this movie was a major disappointment. It was an empty shell that presented nothing but a feast for the eyes and ears. Trust me, you could send your brain on vacation when you watch this movie, because there is no thinking to be done at all! I was left with one reaction when the movie ended, and I quote "WTF! That was it? You've got to be kidding me!" - and that was my exact thoughts. Now, don't let yourself get lured in (and fooled) by the awesome movie cover - you will be sorely disappointed. There are a lot of really cool and good movies coming out of Japan, and of course, there are also movies in the opposite end - this being one of them! If you like Japanese movies, you can find many others that are a lot more enjoyable.