Assault Girls

Oh my god! This was such a waste of time.

First of all, it took forever to get through the intro with lousy still photos and a really, really annoying narrator speaking broken English (I believe it is called Japanese EngRish).

Then when the movie finally did start it had potential, but it all fell crashing to the floor so hard. The scenery in the movie was fantastic, and it had a kind of Fallout (games) feeling to it, being an all barren and broken wasteland. However, the movie spent way too much time in showing pointless and endless shots of the scenery. It was great at first, but it quickly became boring and annoying to look at.

Moving on to the characters. Well, to put it mildly, they were shallow drones without any personality. Their costumes were awesome, however. And a lot of detail had been put into these costumes. And that was one of the better parts of the movie actually. But the characters in the movie were two-dimensional and had no appeal - except for their costumes. And their lovely, funny Japanese EngRish was just priceless. Why not keep the movie all in Japanese? It would have worked so much better for the movie as a whole.

The CGI effects were actually cool and believable, and that was also one of the movie's stronger sides; one of the few there were.

One of the more annoying things in the movie was the sound effects during the brawling scene between Gray and Jäger. That whole comedy approach failed on an epic scale.

In overall, this movie was a major disappointment. It was an empty shell that presented nothing but a feast for the eyes and ears. Trust me, you could send your brain on vacation when you watch this movie, because there is no thinking to be done at all! I was left with one reaction when the movie ended, and I quote "WTF! That was it? You've got to be kidding me!" - and that was my exact thoughts. Now, don't let yourself get lured in (and fooled) by the awesome movie cover - you will be sorely disappointed. There are a lot of really cool and good movies coming out of Japan, and of course, there are also movies in the opposite end - this being one of them! If you like Japanese movies, you can find many others that are a lot more enjoyable.

The story tells the tale of four mercenaries, killing monsters in a virtual realm called Avalon. It is set to the backdrop of a dystopian future where communist ideas have crumpled creativity to a halt, and where people spend their time on video games instead. There is very little dialogue, and most of it is in very poor engrish. (Although there is a handful of Japanese lines at the end.) Let's get one thing straight - visually, this movie is amongst the most beautiful that I have ever rested my eyes upon - not only is the 3D/effects well above average, but the clothes and gun models are stunning. If SyFy produced effects of this caliber in their movies, I'm sure their subscriber base would increase tenfold.

The soundtrack is also stunning with great soundscapes and production value, lots of epic tracks and "trailer music" to be found here.

All and all, a cool way to spend 70 minutes, but don't expect anything other than light entertainment and a beautiful scenery.

That movie, from the same guy who made the also very boring "Avalon", is very similar to it: - Great special effects - Everything is gray all the time, giving you the chance to take a nap - No story - Looooooong scenes that never end, containing nothing.

Just as an example, there is a scene of a guy eating for 3 minutes at some points. And not a nice artistic scene or something that make the story to advance. Just 3 minutes of a guy eating like a pig.

Well, if you rented this movie, I would recommend you to go immediately to the 10 last minutes of it. That's the only interesting part. And, if the movie had been exactly those 10 minutes for the entire length of it, maybe it would have had some potential.

To read another review that seems to exactly write what I wanted to say, go read the review from "Paul Haakonsen". It's exactly that !

I can't say for sure that I understood what's this movie about, but I think I kinda got it. So there are above mentioned characters in some VR world, they are playing some futuristic MMORPG, and they kinda need to work together to complete a difficult quest (which is killing some sort of dragon). Two girls are obviously pro gamers, one is total nutcase but still has gosu skills. They contact one guy for help, even though he is total noob, because he has like some advanced tier weapon. Snail is a NPC and has nothing to do with the story but still director wastes on him about ten minutes out of 70 (which is full running time of this film).

This movie could be interesting to MMO game addicts, which I am not ... I was lured into it with it's catchy title. I kinda got what I expected, three sexy heroines, armed with heavy artillery and in futuristic combat suites. Their hair is waving throughout the movie carried by a chilly breeze in the desert like looking scenery. There is some music in background. Some long shots aiming at girl's faces, searching for emotions I guess. A bit of a special effects and also a little action ... when I think of it as a whole, there is little of everything. I wish that director had made up his mind and put more either of these elements ! Looking forward for Zack Snyder's "Sucker Punch" to fix this next year !

If you really want to watch this movie after reading all the reviews, I recommend renting rather than buying because I doubt that you would want to watch this movie twice. The CGI special effects were almost video game quality and minimal. Most of the time the characters are wandering around volcanic soil with no other discernible landmarks other than a small mountain in the background. There are too many slow moments when the camera would focus a close up on a snail, voice overs that sounded totally gibberish, and confusing plot lines. The characters were wooden with no developments and added little to the plot line. Worse, when the characters spoke, they often spoke broken English with bad accents under muzzle type face masks that made it very unintelligible (even to me, an Asian, that is used to bad English). I guess to some (0.01%) of the population they would say that this movie is arty or avante garde. But if you are looking for a fun movie full of hot girls with guns (as I expect you would by the title "Assault Girls") this ain't it.