Journey to Promethea

I'm too tormented by visions of gray knit "chain mail" armor & the awesomely enormous budget my nephew's 3rd grade spring play had compared to the apparent budget of this flick. I think the best, clearest indicator of the caliber of this movie is in the list of cast on the front of IMDb's page for this movie. Billy Zane is featured prominently on the cover of the movie, but appears nowhere on the primary cast listing. The first mention you see of his name on the IMDb site itself is in the review appearing on the primary page. He may or may not be listed in the extended cast listing you can reach by clicking "full cast & crew", but I don't want to know.

Just... don't. Really. You won't regret it. The other reviews are not lying. Unless you're feeling really lackadaisical and not too concerned with enjoying the experience, in which case, go for it. :-)

Unless you are so bored, and have watched every other movie on the planet! I swear the budget had to be around $2,000. The music, costumes and acting were just SO awful. I simply cannot believe Billy Zane would agree to do this movie! Maybe his mortgage is going head up... Don't waste your time, go see something else! Voice effects were inconsistent, face makeup was so clearly done by a total amateur, and the plot was very far-fetched. I could not believe how awful and unoriginal the music score was. I am, however, happy that the dreams of some actors were achieved. It looked to me like writer, director & producer Dan Garcia had been involved with some other actual good movies. What made him sink so low?

My now wife and fellow cast members of the Louisiana Renaissance Festival are the 'citizens' at the beginning of this monstrosity. I had to watch it out of obligation to them at the time....... and it was bad. The best part of this film? The box cover lies about Billy Zane's role! He doesn't wear armor and fight! Instead he sits on his ass making dumb jokes about armies of children and mothers. The only times he leaves the throne are to 1) go to bed on the floor in front of it with his harem and 2) To die in the most ridiculous way possible. The effects are crap, the acting is mediocre, the costuming is alright, a lot of poor decisions made in editing. All in all a bad movie not even worthy of infamy like Troll 2 and The Room. Definitely a movie to skip.

Never before I was in the situation to rate a movie so low as this one. Actors are also simply bad, especially the supposedly lead hero. Imho the only one that seemed any good was Billy Zane as King Laypach. But even the cruel king was bored out of his mind practically begging for the movie to end. Of course the ending itself is uninspired to say the least(with that stone just sitting there in the middle of nowhere).

Special FX are a shame even for an amateur. As a matter of fact they are worst I ever seen. I saw that the estimated budget on IMDb is around $2,000,000. That's way too many zeros it surely must a mistake. I can't possibly think on what they could spend such an amount. Almost all the action takes place in the forest. Nothing was needed to be built. Trees grow by themselves. The castle itself it just a drawing. Also even for the medieval times, having most of the actors walking barefoot is just laughable. Even the king himself has no shoes...

So why does the movie gets a grade of 2 instead of one ? Lots of beautiful ladies save the day... again. It was all thanks to: Marcelle Baer, Jessica Heap, Cherie Thibodeaux, Lacey Minchew(my personal favorite) and few others not listed on IMDb that I made to the end. Also the movie might appeal to small children(below 10) even though it has a few violent scenes. For a good quality fairy tale I recommend The Secret of Moonacre.

My first thoughts were shock at how clean the common folk clothes were: bright, clean...supposedly peasants! A descendant of a king gets beheaded. A prophecy is revealed his son will avenge his father. His son is thrown in the King's dungeon.

The king does nothing throughout the whole movie but sit on his throne surrounded by beautiful women in skimpy outfits. He has a jester telling horrible jokes, grimacing and finally getting killed by the king for his poor jokes.

The young boy to be king journey's through a forest and...there were serious spots in the movie but so unbelievable as to be comical on the lowest level. I watched the whole thing wondering how this was going to conclude. Instead of a final impressive battle we only get ...you'll have to see...the budget must have been a tad less than 5 bucks! Geeze! this movie was bad! LOL