Wrong Side of Town

First off, I'm extremely embarrassed to say I actually took the time to watch this movie. That being said, I'm still sad that this hour and a half of my life was toilet bowled, but I did get to laugh out loud quite a few times. Unfortunately those were supposed to be very serious moments.

Where to begin with this debacle I do not know. As I was watching this absolutely ridiculous and cliché drenched mess I kept saying to myself "surely a teenager made this movie!" There's no other possible answer for this horrific story, acting, everything, you name it!

If I am able to save at least one poor soul out there the agony I've endured then I feel I've done my job here trying to help out mankind at least a bit. So please, please for the love of God stay as far as humanly possible away from not only this wrong side of town, but the same city, state and continent if at all possible. It doesn't matter if it's free on cable, pirated, you're drunk, stoned, or all of the above, it's not worth it!!!

If you absolutely must, then make sure someone pays you handsomely first.

Bottom line, if you're in the mood for a decent action flick, see anything else, even if you've already seen it 100 times!

All I have to say about this film is that it's so bad it's good. Dave Bautista was fortunate enough to go on to WAAAAAY BETTER FILMS. Ja Rule and Omarion, on the other hand, have no excuse. Do not rush to see this nonsense; only if there is NOTHING ELSE TO WATCH.

Lionsgate is known for many things: Releasing controversial movies ("Irreversible", "O", "American Psycho"), prestige pictures that get award attention ("Precious", "Crash", "Away From Her") and of course Horror movies (too many to count-though that genre has unfortunately taken something of a back seat as far as theatrical releases are concerned.) But the one thing people tend to forget to associate Lionsgate with is Straight to DVD movies. For who knows how long, Lionsgate has been giving the world the best (well, usually worst or most mediocre) in straight to DVD Horror, Action and general Exploitation. David (the absolutely abysmal "Last House on the Left" rip off "Chaos") Defalco now gets into this market with "Wrong Side of Town", a really bad but at least laughable blend of Wrestlesploitation (B-Movie with a Professional Wrestler(s)) and Rapsploitation (B-Movie with a Rapper(s).)

Bobby Kalinowsky (Rob Van Dam) is living a peaceful life with his wife and daughter, when they are invited to a night club run by a corrupt crime lord named Seth (Jerry Katz.) When his wife is nearly raped by Seth's coked up younger brother, Bobby comes in to save to day-and inadvertently kills the guy. None to pleased by this turn of events, Seth puts a bounty on Bobby's head, and hires local gangs (which include R&B singer Omarian, rapper Ja Rule and wrestler Viscera) to hunt him down. Thing is, Bobby is an ex-navy seal, and knows how to fight back. He knows he can't go at it alone though, so he turns to his old buddy Big Ronnie (Dave Bautista) for help.

First thing's first: "Wrong Side of Town" is not anywhere near as bad as DeFalco's prior movie "Chaos", as it's nowhere near as downbeat or ugly as that film. It's still an inept exercise though, with atrocious acting (more on that in the next paragraph), poorly choreographed action scenes, poor direction, heavily advertised actors not getting particularly huge roles (Ja Rule is barely in it, and probably wondering what the hell happened to his career in that he has ended up having a small role in a terrible Straight to DVD movie from the director of "Chaos", and Bautista, despite getting top billing, is barely in the thing), bad editing, and so much more. Sure, you can throw in all the nudity (including a cameo from porn star Stormy Daniels) and action you can, but that doesn't make the movie good.

And back to the acting. Oh boy, it is atrocious. Nobody in this movie can act worth a damn-especially star Rob Van Dam, who acts stiff and boring to the point that you wonder if he's an inanimate object and not a living being. In fact, the terrible acting ends up becoming the sole saving grace of this movie, as it becomes hilarious. My stomach actually hurt from laughing so hard, especially when we first meet the character of Big Ronnie. It's almost worth cherishing in that respect.

Apart from it's casting, there is no real distinguishing "Wrong Side of Town" from any other bad Straight to DVD action movie from Lionsgate. Everything from the cheap "James Bond" inspired opening credits to everything else on display is low rent to the point of inanity. That out of the way, if sh!%%y Straight to DVD action movies are your thing, and if you want a good laugh out of cinematic ineptitude, then by all means watch this.

This is the cheesiest action film ever made. The actors are the very worst, and the whole story is too predictable. The music is way too hard rock too, the film director got stuck in the 1980's. The whole thing is a joke, the fighting is so fake. The same thing applies to all the emotions, the characters get angry and the wrong time, shout at the wrong time... Normally I like predictable Hollywood films, but this crosses the line... by about a mile. The 'hero' is supposed to be this old navy seal, but all he looks like is a old truck driver. You'll get bored before the action is supposed to even begin. Definitely not a keeper, not even worth watching. They'd have to pay me to look at it again. It's just ridiculously bad.

..and I'm talking about the Film technical side! how is it even possible that an elevator show up in a movie (which has some awful editorial work!) which has nothing to do with the scene or even the situation within the scene?! i just don't get it. i really am upset!

the technical side of this movie is pure horrible. I'm glad i don't own it. but i thought the world should know this: the acting is one thing, but if the editing is bad - and i mean really 'bad' - how worse can it be?

watch it yourself with an eye on the little details.. sometimes it seems the actors weren't told what to do.

I rated it 2 out of 10 because the acting overall didn't blow as much as the technical incompetence that leads through this movie.

• one upset movie lover.