Wrong Side of Town

All I have to say about this film is that it's so bad it's good. Dave Bautista was fortunate enough to go on to WAAAAAY BETTER FILMS. Ja Rule and Omarion, on the other hand, have no excuse. Do not rush to see this nonsense; only if there is NOTHING ELSE TO WATCH.

In Wrong Side of Town (a film that deserves some kind of award for having the most bogus and misleading DVD artwork in recent memory) ex-WWE wrestler Rob Van Dam plays a family man who gets in hot water with a vengeful crime boss, and has to battle his way out of it. Luckily, Van Dam's character happens to be an former Navy SEAL...

Look, this film is terrible. I mean, truly awful. For a start, the DVD cover features prominently WWE big gun David 'Batista' Bautista, but as Van Dam's old Navy buddy, he only turns up in a couple of scenes, and majestically unconvincing ones they are at that. Mind you, even Bautista has more screen presence and charisma that the woeful RVD, who, in terms of acting ability, makes his nearly-namesake Jean-Claude Van Damme (Van Dam originally adopted the ring name because he vaguely resembles the 'Muscles from Brussels') look like Robert Mitchum by comparison.

Featuring a shockingly amateurish script, softly-softly fight scenes that just don't cut it, and lots of appalling acting (even from the non-wrestlers), this film sucks on every level. It's the kind of film in which a man can get shot in the leg, only for the police to send him home in a taxi rather than ordering him to hospital. It's the kind of film in which the leading man arms himself with lots of guns and knives, and dresses in black for the final showdown with the villains, and slips on his sunglasses...even though it's the middle of the night. It's the kind of film in which, after beating up a load of street trash, one ex-military tough guy says to another 'Just like old times...' It's also full of odd gambits that left me scratching my head, like the bizarre James Bond-inspired opening credits, a lingering shot of topless adult film star Stormy Daniels, and rapper Ja Rule turning up in a cameo part that should have led him to fire his agent; any day-player could have took the small role of the generic dirtbag 'gangsta' he plays here. Even in the largely worthless pantheon of dodgy genre pics that attempt to showcase wrestling stars in the lead roles, Wrong Side of Town hits a new low. Avoid, and then some.

Lionsgate is known for many things: Releasing controversial movies ("Irreversible", "O", "American Psycho"), prestige pictures that get award attention ("Precious", "Crash", "Away From Her") and of course Horror movies (too many to count-though that genre has unfortunately taken something of a back seat as far as theatrical releases are concerned.) But the one thing people tend to forget to associate Lionsgate with is Straight to DVD movies. For who knows how long, Lionsgate has been giving the world the best (well, usually worst or most mediocre) in straight to DVD Horror, Action and general Exploitation. David (the absolutely abysmal "Last House on the Left" rip off "Chaos") Defalco now gets into this market with "Wrong Side of Town", a really bad but at least laughable blend of Wrestlesploitation (B-Movie with a Professional Wrestler(s)) and Rapsploitation (B-Movie with a Rapper(s).)

Bobby Kalinowsky (Rob Van Dam) is living a peaceful life with his wife and daughter, when they are invited to a night club run by a corrupt crime lord named Seth (Jerry Katz.) When his wife is nearly raped by Seth's coked up younger brother, Bobby comes in to save to day-and inadvertently kills the guy. None to pleased by this turn of events, Seth puts a bounty on Bobby's head, and hires local gangs (which include R&B singer Omarian, rapper Ja Rule and wrestler Viscera) to hunt him down. Thing is, Bobby is an ex-navy seal, and knows how to fight back. He knows he can't go at it alone though, so he turns to his old buddy Big Ronnie (Dave Bautista) for help.

First thing's first: "Wrong Side of Town" is not anywhere near as bad as DeFalco's prior movie "Chaos", as it's nowhere near as downbeat or ugly as that film. It's still an inept exercise though, with atrocious acting (more on that in the next paragraph), poorly choreographed action scenes, poor direction, heavily advertised actors not getting particularly huge roles (Ja Rule is barely in it, and probably wondering what the hell happened to his career in that he has ended up having a small role in a terrible Straight to DVD movie from the director of "Chaos", and Bautista, despite getting top billing, is barely in the thing), bad editing, and so much more. Sure, you can throw in all the nudity (including a cameo from porn star Stormy Daniels) and action you can, but that doesn't make the movie good.

And back to the acting. Oh boy, it is atrocious. Nobody in this movie can act worth a damn-especially star Rob Van Dam, who acts stiff and boring to the point that you wonder if he's an inanimate object and not a living being. In fact, the terrible acting ends up becoming the sole saving grace of this movie, as it becomes hilarious. My stomach actually hurt from laughing so hard, especially when we first meet the character of Big Ronnie. It's almost worth cherishing in that respect.

Apart from it's casting, there is no real distinguishing "Wrong Side of Town" from any other bad Straight to DVD action movie from Lionsgate. Everything from the cheap "James Bond" inspired opening credits to everything else on display is low rent to the point of inanity. That out of the way, if sh!%%y Straight to DVD action movies are your thing, and if you want a good laugh out of cinematic ineptitude, then by all means watch this.

In one word for this film it is 'classless". Poor acting all the way throughout, mediocre action sequences, and to much of an original plot.

If you find yourself extremely bored and with absolutely nothing to do then watch this.

Too many wrestlers who want to be actors nowadays and this film does nothing for the acting of Rob Van Dam or Dave Bautista.

Less than thrilling in it's sequence of movement. The only thing I found interesting in this film was the cars and bikes.

I have come to the conclusion with the Rock being the exception to the rule is that wrestlers need not go into acting.

..and I'm talking about the Film technical side! how is it even possible that an elevator show up in a movie (which has some awful editorial work!) which has nothing to do with the scene or even the situation within the scene?! i just don't get it. i really am upset!

the technical side of this movie is pure horrible. I'm glad i don't own it. but i thought the world should know this: the acting is one thing, but if the editing is bad - and i mean really 'bad' - how worse can it be?

watch it yourself with an eye on the little details.. sometimes it seems the actors weren't told what to do.

I rated it 2 out of 10 because the acting overall didn't blow as much as the technical incompetence that leads through this movie.

• one upset movie lover.