J'ai tué ma mère

Review: I Killed My Mother/J'ai tué ma mère 9*/10

Largely autobiographical, the film details the intensely volatile relationship between a gay 16-year-old, Hubert (Dolan), and his mother, Chantale (Anne Dorval). The film builds through a series of richly hysterical conflicts that find these two characters exceedingly incapable of living with or without one another. Perhaps a viciously honest love story more than anything else, I Killed My Mother gives us an acute and compassionate portrayal of both sides of this complex human interaction.

Dolan stars as a Montreal teen whose relationship with his mother redefines "troubled" — the young hyphenate a natural in front of the camera and a little over-excited behind it.

Seen at the Toronto International Film Festival.

She: like most mothers she cares for her son and looks after him. She drives him to school, she washes his clothes, she cooks.

The downside: She uses these things as excuses to constantly make him feel guilty, make him feel like he owes her for loving him. She keeps accusing him of being ungrateful (though she never says it directly, but implies it in almost every conversation).

What's (arguably) worse: she refuses to listen to him. When she does listen, she doesn't take him seriously. She avoids confrontation, barring occasional hysterical outbursts.

He: makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't expect her to do all the material things for him that she does, and that he'd much rather fend for himself if that means not having to be made to feel guilty all the time.

She: is a struggling single mother, working each day to try to give him a better future. She has to face self-important people who judge her, but who have no idea about the kind of life she leads.

He: does not understand this. He does not see past her awful taste (in clothes and interior design). He thinks she's superficial. He refuses to let her be a part of his life, he criticizes her every word, her every move. He screams at her, insults her.

She: loves him.

He: loves her too. So much.

J'ai tue ma mere is an unflinchingly honest, masterfully shot portrayal of a strained mother/son relationship. Great actors, beautiful images and, I cannot emphasize this enough, absolutely spectacular technique.

Bravo Xavier Dolan! You have created a true work of art.

With his first feature, Montrealer Xavier Dolan has delivered what is already one of the most talked-about directorial debuts of 2009. In a triple-threat feat, Dolan writes, directs and stars in J'ai tué ma mère, the semi-autobiographical tale of a young gay man coming of age while struggling with his tortured relationship with his mother.

Their fights escalate until mom hatches a toxic plan: Hubert will be shipped off to boarding school. He is aghast but has little choice, as mom has managed to convince her ex-husband that a change of scenery is in the lad's best interests. Being banished to a mother-free zone might have seemed a good option for Hubert, but the move simply leads to an ultimate standoff between them. Dolan and Dorval navigate their way through the harried, increasingly vicious tête-à-têtes with delicacy, evoking sympathy for both characters.

Dolan's enthusiasm for cinema can be felt throughout J'ai tué ma mère. Combining assured writing, a confident directorial style (the scene where Hubert makes love to his boyfriend is a standout) and a beautifully rendered performance, Dolan's arrival on the big screen is an achievement that can't be ignored.

I just finished watching this film online with poorly translated subtitles which made it difficult to decipher what the characters were saying some of the time, however I got the gist of what was going on.

A few of the reviews I've read have said they couldn't stand the main character and it dragged the film down. I think this film works because the main character is so bratty! He is absolutely wretched to his mother at some points and his mother perfectly nice back to him. One reviewer said they couldn't understand why he was so mean to his mother 'for no reason'. I actually related to Hubert's character getting annoyed at little things because when you're a teenager everything about your parent can annoy you! The first scene is stellar with the mother having cream cheese on her face and it annoying Hubert.

I also believe that him being a 'closeted' gay and wanting freedom from his mother would also have been contributing factors as to why he was such a brat to his mother. The constant struggle between wanting to be independent of your parents but also not being quite old enough to be completely alone and still depending on a parent is what is captured so well in this film. I like that you can see the angst between mother and son from the child's eyes, frustrated yet loving. Hubert is a tortured soul! Everything is a little exaggerated, but wasn't every little problem a big deal when you were 16?

This film was great in my eyes. I got a lot of entertainment from it and it's an amazing effort for the first directorial. It is definitely stylised and borrows from the likes of Wong Kar Wai (violins??) but it suits the film and contemporary setting and interests of young adults today.

I attended a screening of "J'ai Tué Ma Mère" at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival. Based on his own childhood and adolescence in Québec, Xavier Dolan's film probes the relationship between mother and child when the son's sexuality is in question. Awkward early relationships are difficult for any teen, let alone one burdened with his own fears and mother's unwillingness to accept his "difference." Arguments and fight scenes between Dolan and his mom (the stunning Anne Dorval) are painful to watch, but tender love scenes with François Arnaud provide a stark and welcome contrast.

The film is filled with anger, sadness, love, hate, and humor -- lots of it. It's a winner and received a standing ovation here. And some inspiration for budding filmmakers: Dolan wrote, directed, produced, and starred in J'ai Tué Ma Mère at the age of 19.