Spy Kids: Armageddon

"Spy Kids: Armageddon," the much-anticipated reboot of the beloved franchise, is a catastrophic failure in every sense of the word. Roberto Rodriguez seems to have lost his touch entirely, delivering a film that not only tarnishes the legacy of the original movies but also leaves the audience questioning the very essence of storytelling.

From the beginning, it's evident that Rodriguez has abandoned the heart and soul of the Spy Kids series. The once-charming child spies, Juni and Carmen Cortez, are reduced to mere caricatures of their former selves. Their witty dialogues and endearing sibling dynamics are replaced by cringe-worthy one-liners and forced chemistry, making it painful for fans of the original films to watch.

The plot, if it can even be called that, is a convoluted mess. The storyline jumps erratically from one poorly executed action sequence to another, leaving the audience bewildered and disconnected. The introduction of new gadgets and gizmos feels forced and uninspired, lacking the innovation.

Rodriguez's direction further exacerbates the film's problems. The action scenes, which should have been the movie's saving grace, are plagued by shoddy choreography and sloppy editing. The once-impressive visual effects are now laughably outdated, making it seem like a desperate attempt to cash in on nostalgia without putting in the effort to update the film for modern audiences.

Moreover, the performances from the cast are uninspired at best. It's almost painful to watch talented actors sleepwalk through their roles, delivering lines with a lack of conviction that further emphasizes the overall lack of effort put into this project.

In conclusion, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a prime example of how not to revive a beloved franchise. Roberto Rodriguez's direction, paired with a lackluster script and uninspired performances, results in a film that is not only forgettable but also deeply disappointing for fans who were hoping for a worthy successor to the original Spy Kids movies. Instead of breathing new life into the series, Rodriguez has managed to bury it even deeper, leaving audiences to wonder why this ill-conceived reboot was ever made in the first place.

I do not hate the first two movies Spy Kids (2001) and Spy Kids: Island of Lost Dreams (2002), but I do not care that much about them that much even if they can have some entertainment value in them, along with Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003) which is a bad movie but it can be entertaining at times; in my opinion, the worst Spy Kids movie was Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011). The Spy Kids reboot Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023) was better than Spy Kids three and four, but I liked it as much as I did the first two movies. To make clear, the movie was not terrible because it was entertaining to watch with effort put into it, and I can see kids liking the movie like the earlier four movies.

The main kids in the movie named Tony and Patty Tango-Torrez played by Connor Esterson and Everly Carganilla were not that bad in the movie, and even though they were a bit annoying from time to time, they were ok to get through. The kids have some cliché things kids do, but the two kids have their own way in doing things, like the brother cheating and lying especially when it includes video games, and the sister thinking honesty is the best policy and having nicer ways to get through rough situations. The parents played by Zachary Levi and Gina Rodriguez were also not that bad in the movie, and Zachary Levi as the dad had some funny moments in the movie; also, the dad has something to with on how the device called Armageddon was made and used for.

The villain Rey 'The King' Kingston played by Billy Magnussen was an ok antagonist; he could have been better though, being a game designer that steals a big weapon to control all technology making people play this difficult video game every time they want to use something. The henchman of sorts are characters from the popular video game where the CGI effects do not look believable, but the effects are better than the effects from the earlier films. The green screen at times will look good, but other times it is noticeable, especially in the third act climax that involves the video game realm to achieve a certain task that is a part of their mission.

All the effects in the go from being bad to being ok, and the action scenes were not that bad; even if it has some good things, it has issues involving the editing at certain scenes, some performances in the movie, some of the effects, and certain things that have something to do with the main premise. The reboot Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023) was better than the fourth movie, even though it is still not good, it was not terrible; it has good things like the acting, the premise, and some effects but it can also lead to the issues with the movie. Kids will be entertained, and I was too, but the Spy Kids franchise is still not my kind of thing even if it is aimed at kids; entertaining but mostly aimed at people who like these movies.

I grew up watching the original spy kids movies and loved them. They each had an interesting idea with good learning point about loyalty, family and even just how to have fun with imagination.

I have been open to watch the new spy kids Armageddon but I watch through the originals again too In order before writing this review. I can honestly say the movie was disappointing and very underwhelmed.

There is no relation to the original family like in the other 4 movies so they are completely new kids. However it's the parents that are spys again and the kids just like video game. The movie had a heavy focus on how much kids play games and that can be there superpower. I am personally a gamers but I found this sloppy. I have grown with games over the years and there was something terrible watching adults being unable to do anything because they can't use a game controller.

The CGI was unfortunately terrible again for a movie from 2023. The skeletons were better in the original, I honestly don't know what went wrong. There is even some sections in the movie that are copies from the original and could have been a nice Easter egg but even these scenes were disappointing and didn't really capture the same emotions from the base series.

Also I found it alittle sad watching a fully grown man fighting and beating a child. In the old movies this was done in a more tasteful manner with the parents being involved too. This often made the sides look more even and a bigger goal for the family to reach.

Overall I was left board and dissatisfied with how the series has changed. Sometimes movies should stay in the past. I will be watching the original 3 movies with my children, not this one.

"Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a colossal disappointment, a film that crashes and burns spectacularly despite the potential of its exciting premise. The film is an incoherent mess, struggling to find its identity amidst a chaotic blend of half-baked ideas and poorly executed action sequences.

Rodriguez's direction further exacerbates the film's issues. The action sequences lack excitement and creativity, relying heavily on CGI that feels dated and unimpressive. There's a distinct lack of innovative choreography or visual flair, making the movie visually unappealing despite its supposed 'spy' theme. It's a shame to see a director of Rodriguez's caliber produce something so lackluster and uninspired.

In conclusion, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a prime example of how a once-beloved franchise can be tarnished by careless filmmaking. Roberto Rodriguez's direction, which was once celebrated, has now become a liability, leading the series into a downward spiral of mediocrity. This film is a disheartening reminder of what can happen when creativity takes a back seat, and commercial interests drive the filmmaking process.

I've watched the Spy Kids films. And they where entertaining fun, not great, but enjoyable B. Movie fun, and never tries to be nothing more. But Robert Rodriguez wants to keep it going, even though it appears it does not want to be, he made a superhero version titled We Can Be Heroes, which was a little better in my opinion.

Now the effects are hit or miss here, and the two kids are fun to watch, but I bought them more has friends then brother and sister. But Zachery Levi is just sleepwalking through this, looking very bored being in this. Gina Rodriguez does alright by what she's giving, but other than that, this is a mess of itself.