I mercenari - The Expendables

So I guess with any film review - it's all about the answers to the important questions. So let's get them out of the way first shall we?

Q) Is the plot descent, with a substantial storyline including dramatic arcs, twists and/or turns?

A) Not particularly.

Q) Are there character arcs and meaningful character developments?

A) A little.

Q) Is there romance?

A) Next question, please.

Q) Is the overall film original?

A) Not at all.

Q) Is it a likely Oscar nomination contender?

A) Hell no!

Q) Is it still awesome?

A) HELL YES!!!!!

Critics should be banned from reviewing films such as these. Anyone with half a brain can tell exactly what kind of film this is and what they're in for purely by the film's trailer alone.

This is a film made for action movie fans and not just regular action movies - I mean REAL action films in the style of the classic 80's action movies where plot and substantial character developments and dialogue took a backseat to intense over-the-top violence, explosions, car chases, sex scenes and catchy, memorable one liners!

The 80's action hero (and villain) breed was a rare phenomenon which will likely die with those very actors who gave them life. No 90's or new millennium "action" movie star will ever come close to being anywhere near as genuinely tough and just plain bad-arse as their 80's predecessor's! Even now with the main 'Expendables' cast pushing 60 +, you know that they would snap Matt Damon's spine in 2 with one hand tied behind their backs!

The 'Expendables' cast consists of Sly Stallone as the fearless leader of the team, Jason (Basketball stabber) Statham as the trusty knife-throwing sidekick, Dolph Lundgren as the treacherous giant one, Jet-Li as the small one, Terry Chews as Wesley Snipes, Mickey Rourke as the tattoo/previous knife-throwing sidekick and Randy Couter as the "who the hell is this guy, oh he's a UFC fighter" guy.

I still can't believe the unbelievable shape these guys are in! They're giants (exception for Jet-li of course).

Still, despite it's 80's throw-back appeal - the film isn't all action. Believe it or not there are slow parts. Mostly unnecessary filler between the action scenes. However the third act of the film makes up for the lack of action and then some!

It's when this third act commences when the true action film we've been waiting to see kicks in and steps up several notches to become the manliest most testosterone-fueled film since the last 'Rambo'!

It's funny, it's loud, it's un-relentlessly violent, an action-packed no-brainer of a film! An 80's action movie fan's wet-dream!!!

Bring on the sequel/s and bring on Jean-Claude Van Damme so he can give Statham the butt-kicking he so desperately deserves!!!

A typical action movie that checks all of the action movie boxes. Lots of explosions, shootings, killings and unrealistic fight scenes.

It's great to see all of the dinosaurs from the 80's team up with each other. Stallone looked convincing as the main guy but it's the youth of Jason Statham that delivers the adrenalin in this movie. I would've liked to have seen more from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Their roles were far too short for the amount of action experience they have. Steve Austin is the only person that was miscast. Personally, I think that this movie would have been better without him.

I got what I expected and if you like action movies...you will definitely like "The Expendables".

The expectation for this film is obviously very high with one of the best action hero line ups (if not the best) in cinematic history. So I went into this film with a little trepidation and a lot of anticipation. I can honestly say that I was not disappointed. This was a high octane, unbelievably explosive, funny, blood thirsty, proper action movie! This film would not have been out of place in the 80s, but manages to fit into the market of today's cinematic action experience. It is easily much more graphic and gory than most modern day action films, but this adds to the film and creates a degree of realism. Let's face it; if you go around killing people it isn't going to be pretty! This film did what it needed to do, it wasn't afraid to contain blood, guts and violence for the sake of an age restriction but also wasn't overly ridiculous. After all most of the people who will watch this film grew up watching the classic action films of the 80s and 90s and are old enough for a bit of gore.

The plot is not that original, but it doesn't need to be, nor was it expected to be. The cast, goes without saying, was fantastic. What could have been a disaster of conflicting egos ended up being a believable team of mercenaries where banter is rife and keeping each other alive is their number one priority. Stallone can give himself a big pat on the back for getting so many iconic actors onto the screen together and actually making it work. Though the much hyped cameo of two particular people was short lived, it was hilarious and I think a great moment in cinema.

This was a great film that keeps you glued to your seat, constantly makes you gasp and laugh out loud and leaves you pumping with adrenaline. It was ridiculous and wonderful all at the same time, with more bullets and bombs than Rambo and more fighting than Rocky. This is a must see film for any movie buff or action hero wannabe. It is certainly not for the faint hearted, or for kids, but for any true action movie lover this is the ultimate manly film.

Sylvester Stallone, NICE JOB!

Watching this movie was a great experience for an 80's movie buff like me. Its like the advertisement for it says, it has everyone! It says a lot for Sylvester Stallone's toughness that he can still play a tough guy part when he is one year from collecting Social Security. It really tickled me seeing the cameos by Bruce Willis and "The Governator". Its sort of an inside joke, he and Stallone have always had a friendly rivalry. Mickey Rourke really steals the show in his few scenes as a former mercenary turned tattoo artist. He delivers a rambling speech at one point about losing your soul that is really oddly moving in a way. Director Stallone has the camera dwell on his battered features as he delivers it. The awesome special effects, loud explosions and familiar faces sort of blur the fact that the plot from this movie could have easily been an old A Team episode. There really isn't much of one. But who am I to quibble? This movie is a great way to round out the summer.

I laugh at many of the hate comments as what the hell did they expect? a romantic comedy? award winning performances? deep dialogues? Freudian complex character study?

common give me a break!!! from the start you should know this is all about guns,explosives and one liners from start to finish and homage to silly 80's and 90's action flicks. and this is simply exactly what you get!!

while i will never understand what most woman think so great about sex and the city( fashion? shoes? what the hell?)

so this is for men/boys who will be thrilled to see their old heroes from back in the days once more on screen kicking everybody's ass! (and no, i can appreciate intellectual and deep movies, but it often simply comes down with having the right expectations)