The Telling

Here it goes, after I heard about our local movie store was closing I decided to go and buy movies because they were 50% - 70% off the original price. This movie was one of the many movies I bought, I really didn't have much to do today so I watched it.....it sucked! I feel really bad to say that because I really like Bridget and Holly. I'm also a huge fan of "The Girls Next Door"and that's another reason why I picked this movie up. The acting was cheesy, the production was lame and the film quality was crappy! This is a movie that is going to never be played again and just sit in my movie cabinet. Save your money and brain cells.

I did not have very high hopes for this film. A horror movie from the Playboy mansion? I think most people probably suspect that Playboy bunnies do not make great actresses, and indeed they do not. They are great at posing and pouting, but pretending to laugh, is sadly beyond their reach (though this might be due to having been pawed at by a 127 year old Hugh Hefner, as that would stop most people from even cracking a smile).

So if you disregard the acting, which ranges from poor to abysmal, you will have heard the stories again and again since childhood. In fact, most Halloween specials have told these stories, and often told them better. So here goes: To gain membership in a Sorority populated by plastic women in their late 20ies and early (?) 30ies (who, at least at one point, are amusingly Borg-like), three pledges must tell a scary story each. Seem familiar yet?

The first story involves an evil doll, the second a creepy castle in Transsylvania and in the third, three babysitters (ok, they're not actually babysitters, but they might as well be to make the cliché complete) get creepy phone calls.

This is far from the worst film I've seen (that honour still belongs to Unearthed), and sadly, it is not so-bad-it's-good either. Overall, I think it deserves a 3/10, because it did manage to hold my attention till the end and because it did give me a chuckle or two. However, it must be said, it is not even remotely scary. Nor is it sexy. Apparently, there is 1 blink-and-you'll-miss-it topless scene, but I blinked, so I missed it.

With all the great actors in the movie, how could it had turned out so bad ?...lol... The Only thing great about the movie is the Playboy bunnies and breast shots !... That's it... Nothing else left to say....... Pass it up unless you want to be bored to death for 80 minutes... Not only is it bad, but the direction, production, sound, and script is AWFUL at best. They stole good ideas from other movies and made them cheap. They didn't even do a good job at editing either, if they would have, the movie would have been about 5 minutes long. Guess that's why there were so many good movie references.... As at as being a "Horror" movie, not even close. The only time I was scared was when I found out my wife had noticed that I watched it, that was scary. It took my 5 days to explain why I sat thru more then 10 minutes of this crap.

I thought they were porn actresses on a side project, ala Andy Sidaris. Other reviewers inform us that these are Playboy bunnies. I thought Playboy disappeared, when the internet appeared. But that aside, it's a bad movie. I gave it three stars; because the women are beautiful. Seen on Tubi, the free streaming site.

Unfortunately, the film was hard to get hold of here in Australia but I eventually found it online. If you're a girls next door (girls of the playboy mansion) fan, (which i am) and saw the episodes when they were filming the movie, you will enjoy watching it and seeing how Bridget's project came together. The acting was pretty dismal and the plot wasn't great, lots of naked hot girls though. Bridget gets her clothes off as well as a couple of other random actors. Unless you watch GND none of the actors / actresses will be familiar, and only 3 of the girls in the movie are from playboy. If you are looking for a horror / thriller, I wouldn't suggest it. Its not very scary or jumpy.