Armageddon - Incubo finale

"Colliders" have gone berserk. They're some kind of mega-efficient energy providing devices (I guess), and now they're colliding with Mother Nature. I think. Things are blowing up.

One of the premier scientists in the world, who engineered this technology talks on his cell phone a lot. Usually to an almost unrecognizable Marina Sirtis (Star Trek, Next Gen). "David, this is all your fault. You better stop these disasters." She then hangs up, waits for another catastrophe to occur, then calls him: "David, you really need to stop these disasters. Now, David." It really started to sound like Hal 9000 after a while.

Anyway, what story there is, takes the normal course in a "world may end because of bad science" movie, with a very obvious but still nonsensical ending. As for Marina, she's probably still yelling at David.

I like Luke Goss & think he should be in bigger things than this sort of garbage. He was great in both "Blade II" & in "Hellboy II: The Golden Army." In a lesser known role he made a bad film almost tolerable in "Cold & Dark." He needs the right role to become a big star. I guess as long as Guillermo del Toro keeps doing films we'll get to see more of him. This film is about as generic as you can imagine. I've seen worse special effects but the so-called plot is terrible. Talk about miscasting, Marina Sirtis is completely unbelievable in her role. It's already written badly but she was completely wrong for this. If you want to watch another terrible disaster flick that somehow the syfy (Quite possibly the worst renaming of a channel EVER) channel keeps pumping out, well this is fun to laugh at or with. There is worse stuff out there, but it sure as hell gets better. Skip this & keep hoping we see more of Luke Goss in the future because he has the ability, but even Tom Hanks couldn't make this better than this mess. This is of the same vein of "Angels & Demons" (that is not a compliment) but with 1/100th the budget. Again it always comes down to a decent script, & even w/the budget of "Avatar" ($300 Million plus) this would still stink.

This stinker is right up there with Titanic 2 although the special effects are marginally better I guess. The holes in the plot are bigger than those created by the collider - too many to mention but I especially loved the way a doctor and paramedics were waiting outside the undamaged hospital for our hero to hand over some injured kiddies while 30 million people had just been wiped out. It seems that emergency services weren't overwhelmed at all and the deadly radiation our heroic team suited up for quickly vanished so the porno actresses, erm I mean "top scientists" could display their own enhanced colliders in fetching cammo singlets. No further comment is required about Marina Sirtis' atrocious "southern" accent.

It's a shame because the basic premise of this woeful waste of time would probably make quite a good movie and Luke Goss should be given a chance to redeem himself with a decent plot, script and half-way competent cast.

I wasn't expecting much considering SyFy's (very) dubious reputation, didn't get much. In fact, the whole film was a near irredeemable mess, with barely tolerable effects(only giving that phrase merely because I've seen worse like in Titanic II), slipshod filming and very lazy directing. The acting is terrible, Luke Goss is not bad actually but he deserved much better than what he got but Marina Sirtis with her forced delivery and a "southern" accent that is so laughable it leaves you speechless is a completely different story. The script has far too many stilted and stilted lines and contains scientific errors so vast and so glaringly off that you could tell that not much research if any went into it and the characters are underdeveloped and stereotypical. Not to mention the story, which was dull and very structurally thin, with many moments that didn't ring true to me, I agree about the issues about the lab assistants being too attractive and feeling too shoe-horned in and about the terrorists getting into the facility far too easily. The ending was the only part of the movie that didn't feel like nonsense, but considering how preposterous the rest of the movie is, this no-nonsense approach was jarring. Overall, really quite appalling. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Forget arguing about the acting - this movie should have been named "The Killer Teenage Mutant Supercollider That Blew-Up the Earth" or something along those lines. Categorizing this as a stupid movie would be an insult to all stupid movies in existence. At one point even my 9-year old nephew said, "Why does only one man know how to fix the problem instead of 50 or a hundred people?" I just shrugged and told him I did not think the movie was going to get any better. I was right.

There was never a moment of excitement, drama, anticipation, happiness, sadness, or other entertainment quality throughout this dreadful film. There was only the prolonged agony of enduring the immeasurable ludicrous science and technical mistakes, the incredibly lazy screen writing, and the shameful directing that resulted in a truly horrid movie.

If I find this DVD on sale for 10 cents, I will buy about 25 of them (That will be $2.50 at the register), toss the discs, and reuse the empty cases (I will be wearing a fake beard and sunglasses so no one in the store will recognize me and think I would actually be buying these for gifts).