Them

About THEM: I hate to dismiss films out of hand but, as an educated viewer, I need more for a satisfying movie experience. I'm a big believer in the notion that in the dramatic arts, showing is better than telling. THEM neither shows nor tells. Note to the filmmakers: A little bit of exposition is not only OK, it's practically required if your business is storytelling.

That sums up my chief complaint with this entire effort: There's no story. I'm not opposed to the occasional foray into Absurdism, but that's not what this is. WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF has a story. A DOLL'S HOUSE has a story. Even WAITING FOR GODOT has more of a story than this, and if not a lot more story then certainly a lot more purpose. Everything-is-meaningless-nothing-is-real-life-is-but-a-dream surrealist drivel isn't enough. Simply put, there's just no takeaway here.

The most basic expectation people have when they invest their time in any creative endeavor is that the creators will make some kind of a coherent, discernable point. One gets the feeling the makers are trying, hence two stars. But if there's a point here, I've missed it, and as one not given to missing the point, I'm left to conclude that it's either absent or the filmmakers aren't capable of communicating it.

I've waited over a decade scrolling through IMDB to sign in and and leave a review on films I've loved, films I've liked, and films that have left me scratching my head. I have never once been compelled during those hundreds of films to write a review, but here we are. Thank you Them.

I feel compelled in humanitarian way to say this is legitimately one of the worst films I have seen in my forty years around the sun.

It is so bad I'm left speechless as to how to warn you away. Every single aspect of this movie fails: from unmoving plot, to indecipherable premise, to wooden acting, to a somehow pretentious ruse on the audience that we would "get it" if we only could understand.

This is bad and there is nothing to get. It's like playing an M. Night Shayamalan album in reverse only to reveal the lyrics say, the jokes on you. It's not smart. It's not prescient and if you have the misfortune to be reading this now, I'm sorry. I had hopes and dreams once too.

Run away.

This nonsensical film is really quite bad. Allegedly science fiction, it tries to be some kind of morality play about human obliviousness. It just doesn't work. I highly recommend that you avoid this snooze-fest.

I powered through the movie and came here to find out what it was about. No one seems to know, not even those who made it. At least some actors were employed for a while...well, I hope they got paid something.

I also hope that this "movie" doesn't hinder their acting careers in the long run. I imagine they won't list it or if they do, some may assume it's a reference to infinitely better works by the same name.

Right now, I'm trying to convince myself that the people died and became watchers of the human race. It seems that's literally all they did....watch. It was like watching water boil and about as interesting.

I am a sucker for movies with poor reviews. Sometimes one finds a diamond in the rough that maybe other people just didn't "get" or they didn't appreciate a truly amazing "bad" movie. This is NOT THAT MOVIE. The production values are fine. As far as writing and plot? Worse than The Happening. Nothing...and I mean nothing...actually happens. There is no explanation of the premise. I promise that you will never find out what the supposedly non-humans now are or what plans they have, if any. I felt like someone made me watch Waiting for Godot as an 8 year old, except I was probably less invested in the characters. This is an hour and a half of your life that you WILL NOT ever get back. Please learn from my poor judgement.