Hatchet II

I'd say the first half of Hatchet 2 is a bit sillier and even campier than the first, but the films last half-hour really makes up for it.

THis is one seriously gory flick. It's gorier than the original, and funnier than the original. It might actually be better than the original, but it's an awfully tight race.

Adam Green still has me on the edge of my seat waiting for his next horror project. Guess I'll have to wait for the DVD release of Hatchet 3 next month - even though he didn't direct.

Hatchet 2 is a little better than the original on the acting/cast front as well. In the original we see a bunch of undeveloped boobs getting knocked-off left and right. Here, there's a little more substance to who's getting their heads ripped off.

This thing gets pretty intense down the stretch. Thumbs up.

The very short theatrical run of the movie in the US is a shame. In the words of Mr. Green himself, it was the first major unrated release since the Original Dawn of the Dead. Which means, it did play in a lot of cinemas. Though I'm pretty sure with many regulations and other obstacles (apart from the fact, that you can't promote it).

Which is a shame, because this is not a torture movie or anything mental. It just tries to be a fun slasher. We might not get the whole story why it got withdrawn after just one weekend, but as it is, it's a sad testament of the current flow of cinema fodder we get.

Of course you might ask, if I say so many good things about the movie, why do I rate it quite low (3 points lower than the rating of the first movie)? This comes down to the story element of the movie. While Adam said himself, that people will criticize him for not delivering non-stop slasher, it comes down to the fact, that it just does not live up to the time it takes up.

In other words, it takes too long and the pacing seems off. Unfortunately one of the guys who was really funny (in Hatchet 1) is not back for more, but gets replaced by someone else who tries very hard to be funny, but just can't "cut" it (in my eyes).

But if you are in this for the kills and thrills, there is much to be had of those, especially in the second part of the movie. So if you don't mind the (disposable and sadly sometimes not very well acted) story element at the beginning ... go right ahead and watch this.

It is difficult to criticize something that just tries to be fun. And if you ever get a chance to meet Mr. Green in person, he is one hell of a guy. I can't wait to watch another one of his movies

There wasn't much difference between this sequel and the first movie. Pretty much the exact same thing happens. This time the girl, Mary Beth, whom survived the first night is back to return to the swamp with Rev Zombie's help for a really stupid reason: to bring back the bodies of her family. So Zombie gathers a crew and they go to the swamp that night. Zombie has a plan to put an end to Crowley's ghost.

Do plans ever work with freaky killers-No! So you get more blood and gore and skulls bashed in, plus some faces cut off.

FINAL VERDICT: If you never have your fill of slasher films, check it out.

With 80's slashers, their effect on me is actually relaxing. We have a bunch of characters who the filmmaker generally deems worthless (except a few, who make it to the end) so that we don't have to actually invest anything until their inconsequential deaths, clear, simple-minded notions of good and evil, and contrived mechanisms that explain them away (the evil presence is usually described by some kind of simplified trauma). None of this happens in real life, so none of this actually has potential to breach the divide and actually unsettle. It's a movie fantasy, one oddly espousing deeply conservative values (prudence is generally rewarded) that fly in the face of the crowd that avidly sees them.

Like the first Hatchet, this is a knowingly cartoonish version of this. The deaths are delightfully absurd. At some point the baddie in this, Vincent Crowley, shows up with a chainsaw six feet long. The film knows what part it plays in the tradition and has fun with it.

What is actually problematic about these films is that, for all the parody, they still posit themselves as straight slasher films. It doesn't work, the hackneyed plot above all where a band of mercenaries is hastily assembled to venture into the bayou. Or what they aim to do once there.

The Japanese as usual are more savvy about this kind of thing. In films like The Machine Girl, they put together all kinds of cultural stamps they have produced and obsessed over the years (video games, anime, martial arts, extreme violence, erotica) and obliterate one against the other.

Here, I assume the filmmaker doesn't have a grasp of how the pastiche can be made to work. Probably because he doesn't understand or care to anything other than this kind of film. The splatter works, what's around it not so much.

After a very brief, derivative and clumsy justification for heading back to the swamp involving a young woman named Mary-Beth (Danielle Harris) looking for her family with a kooky sightseeing operator named Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd) back into Crowley's territory we go, along with fresh meat in the form of hired muscle being paid $500 per head, with a bonus to the guy who takes down Crowley.

Only as we see quite frequently in the latter half of the film, Crowley is not an easybeat, at near 7 foot, with a mangled face, huge guns and the ability to take a shotgun blast to the chest without wincing, it would have taken a lot more than five hundred clams to get me in the same state – let alone the same dark and gloomy swamp.

Victor is unstoppable, he is everywhere and can seemingly get anywhere instantaneously. He also has a bunch of toys that he utilises to disembowel, eviscerate, decapitate, violate and penetrate victims that number into the double digits.

No problem there of course this is a psycho killer flick. The problem is the lack of creativity used: victims inch about nervously, do the "did you hear that?" and stand awaiting their violent demise. There are no traps, no clever sleight of hand or tricks, Victor shows up in plain view – shows them his weapon du jour and uses it on them.

If it's a hatchet he hatchets them, a chainsaw? Saw 'em in half. A sander? Hello abrasions. The victims don't even fight back 90% of the time, they stand still and take their medicine like guys in a bad kung fu movie.

What makes that even worse is that I guarantee Mr Adam Green spent more time on the kills than he did coming up with the threadbare backstory and lousy plot, so you just expect more. Let's face it, after the first Nightmare on Elm St each sequel for a decade was exactly the same, you only watched them for the kill scenes and to see what ridiculous quips Freddy would come up with.

Victor doesn't talk, and his kill scenes suck. Even a few gratuitous boobies don't make the rest worth a glance.