Road to Hell

I attended the Las Vegas screening and I have to say that it wasn't at all what I expected. As a huge Streets Of Fire fan I was expecting more of a sequel or part two as the buzz around the internet suggested. I loved that it went into the darker side of the story and the music was out of this world. Roxy Gunn is stunning and the songs and concert scenes are musical masterpieces! Casting Gunn as Michael Pare and Diane Lane's daughter was brilliant! I'm so glad I got to see this. Again I think this will be a huge cult classic. I think I might even travel to a few other film festivals so I can see it again. I can't wait to get this on DVD.

The first thing that should be said is that "Road to Hell" is not a film. It's not a movie. In truth, I don't know what it is. Youtube videos of mentos and diet coke are more cinematic than anything this attempts. It isn't just bad, it's Sega CD Full Motion Video Game circa 1992 bad. It makes "Night Trap" look like "The Godfather." It's the "2 Girls 1 cup" of sequels. Most importantly, it's an insult to "Streets of Fire" and everyone who has ever watched even five minutes of it.

Before the 60 + minute "dream project" proceeded to assault those not smart enough to walk out, Albert Pyun, his wife Cynthia Curnan, and a handful of others came up and explained what we would be seeing. Cynthia mentioned that it was the result of an argument that she and Albert had had about the ending of Streets of Fire. Albert had thought it was one of the most romantic endings of all time. Cynthia thought it was deeply tragic and showed that Tom Cody was doomed. She wrote "Road to Hell" to show what she thought would have happened to him.

If the near-finished product is any indication, Albert handily won that argument and by default has now won all subsequent arguments for the rest of their lives.

Put simply, "Road to Hell" is garbage -- cinematic fan-fiction that is essentially a pointless 60+ minutes of atrocious dialog in front of a green screen, mixed in with some black and white footage of Deborah Van Valkenburgh being interrogated and flashbacks of a poor double for Diane Lane lip-syncing and dancing along with two songs lifted from "Streets of Fire."

I'm not entirely sure why everything was filmed in front of a green screen, probably to give it that "filmed in one day" look. It definitely does no favors to the performances, and the computer animated backdrops used look like screen savers circa 1994. I kept half-expecting a flying toaster to glide across the screen. Sadly, like any hope that "Road to Hell" would be redeemed, it failed to materialize.

The muddled excuse for a plot centers around the idea that Tom Cody is now a deranged serial killer, waiting in the middle of nowhere in case Ellen Aim's tour bus happens to drive by.

Meanwhile the two least interesting former strippers turned murderers in the world come across him.

They yell and swear and swear and yell. They talk in circles. There's some blood and some kissing. It goes absolutely nowhere and just drags and drags and drags. It could have been whittled down into a five minute short, told the same "story," and it STILL would have been painful.

I guess the filmmakers deluded themselves into thinking they were making something artistic and the characters we see might be in purgatory, or some other metaphysical realm. Unless the filmmakers' intent was to make the viewer feel like they were literally in hell, they failed.

The only elements that are even remotely interesting at all are ripped from "Streets of Fire." It is fascinating watching Paré and Van Valkenburgh reprising their respective roles, or at least it would be if the dialog wasn't so mind numbingly awful that the characters as portrayed resemble those in "Streets of Fire" about as much as David Koresh resembled Jesus.

Pyun, particularly in his Cannon years, has made some legitimately entertaining no-budget films. There is nothing entertaining here. It captures none of the spirit, energy, character, or fun of "Steets of Fire." It's an ugly, draining, pointless trifle.

Do yourself a favor and stop caring about this now. It will only end in heartbreak.

When I first saw the trailer I was thinking... ok this is just some kinda of flashy joke trailer to show of some crappy CGI to get people talking. The movie surely won't look or feel anything like this. Right? WRONG. The whole film looks like it was greenscreened in someone's basement and someone who never shot a film or finished one in post production before. Everything about it is as BAD as you can imagine. Furthermore when I was first researching it to watch the IMDB rating was like around 6.2 so that made it sound more promising. After I came onto IMDB I found out what was happening was the filmmakers were peddling reviews at the local film fest before this thing was even finished... Probably doing favors so shills would give 10/10 ratings... if you want to see REAL ratings goto the reviews on Youtube. AVOID at all costs and never mention to anyone that this exists.

Saw it at the Austin Fantastic Fest last year. It was screened with Streets of Fire by Walter Hill and the stars of that and Road to Hell were present. It was quite disconcerting for me as I have never seen Streets of fire before so to see a very youthful Michael Pare and then to see him or his character over twenty years later was one of the most strong experiences I have at a movie screening. Both films were done with much style and surreal images. Neither film was set in a real world but a world of our imaginations. But the contrasting views were powerful. It was like in Streets of fire Pare was still full of romance and hope but years later that hope is destroyed and he is instead cynical and hostile. There was a core of god in him in the first film and he seeks to nurture the promise of that good but years later in Road To Hell he's more than disillusioned with the world. I found the whole thing fascinating and thoughtful. It too bad that Road To Hell was not near finished and was quite rough in the presentation. I am curious to see how it comes out in the end because it has a much on the story's mind. How life twists and turns and how we change over time. I think this is a new approach where you see the character as a young idealistic hero turned years later into bitterness and you feel his pain and what disappointments he must have had. One idea my friends talked about like his sister says in the beginning of Road to hell, is how he was always troubled and not right in the head or heart even when he was a child and how Ellen was his hold on the hope he could be good. You do see Pare's anger and dark side in Streets of Fire and is fascinating to see how it ends up consuming him years later. I hope Road to hell can fix some of the technical problems and get it all okay. It is quite intelligent with ideas but is shocking and profane and with horrifying violence but it works well as a character study of a hero gone very dark.

Horrible acting, non existent plot. What was the significance of the ring? Blowing off of the head? Did they get a kid's art class to make the prop? Do not waste your time. There are no spoilers. Just questions why?