How to Make Love to a Woman

Oh my. This movie is so stale I felt compelled to register so I could post a warning to anyone above an 85 IQ. Cliché, another cliché, yet another cliché. The best part was the somewhat clever opening credits score. Most comedies open with something funny. This is the one cliché the movie left out! If you like watching average comedians perform below average, this is your movie. That's all to say but I cannot post without ten lines. So don't read anymore, I'm just trying to make it to ten lines because spending any more time writing about this awful and insulting movie is a waste of my time at this point. I hope that's at least ten lines.

Oh my God! This movie was rock-bottom. I thought I was in for a comedy, but it turned out to be far from it. It didn't even manage to make me smile.

The story, to me at least, was amazingly uninteresting and empty. It moved forward at a super slow pace, and tried to be funny. But it failed on an epic level.

The actors and actresses, well they weren't bad. But there was something missing from the whole picture. And I guess the actors and actresses did their best with what they were given. It just didn't really do the trick for me.

I managed to get halfway through the movie, then I caved in and gave up. It had gotten to the point where it was starting to drag on forever and ever. And still no laughs.

It is hard to label this movie, and I am not just going to slander it in lack of better. But it seriously wasn't my cup of tea, and I doubt it that I will return to finish the second half of it.

The plot of romantic comedies are never their strong suit but this movie didn't offer a single interesting or creative approach to the tired old formula (boy-meets-girl, boy-gets-girl, happy-couple-time, trouble-in-paradise, break-up to make-up, airport scene). Most romantic comedies work because the characters can be identified with and viewers care about them enough to look past the poor plot. Throw in some funny lines and comedy and your movie "works". This movie isn't funny and the main character isn't well written. Seems to be an emotional and mental 12 year old in a grown man's body. The acting doesn't help either.

All in all the movie was so bad that I lost interest in the characters and the story. I spend my time getting frustrated over the very very poor focusing of the camera. A shallow depth of field with characters apparently moving so fast that the focus can't follow. Dialogues where the focus can't keep track with the character that is talking. Before the person who's talking is in focus, the next guy is already talking. Scenes where the focus between different takes is obviously not the same (Somerhalder in the Italian restaurant scene). One shot of the scene is sharp, the next shot is soft. When they're on the beach I spent my time looking into the reflection of Byrd's sunglasses where I could clearly see the guy holding the reflector. That is some really horrible stuff.

I just finished watching the movie, but it only got on my nerves. There might have been a good plot there somewhere, but the acting just wasn't genuine and the characters not believable at all.

It doesn't have to be exaggerated to make it funny; genuine, believable characters with their quirks can make a movie very amusing, but this general helplessness and the characters' constant shifting in their decisions was neither believable nor enjoyable.

The only clever and entertaining part in my opinion were the split-screen discussions about how to please a woman, for that the movie gets a 2 from me.

Ignore the two glowing reviews from studio plants. This movie is horrible. It isn't funny or provocative, just boring and predictable.

Josh Meyers isn't funny. Kristen Ritter is hot but not funny. Ian Somerhalder is some sort of masturbatory fantasy for the gay and cat lady community. He also isn't funny.

I've never seem Lindsay Richards in anything, but she is pretty hot, and from Texas. But not funny. So to recap, this movie is not funny or entertaining. So if you are looking to spend more than an hour not laughing at something, this is for you. If you have lost your cable or satellite feeds and are tired of watching static, this movie is for you.