31 North 62 East

31 NORTH 62 EAST is a low budget British thriller about the war in the Middle East, Afghanistan in this instance. It's a political story about the ways in which corruption can exploit those on the ground and even lead to a murder plot. Unfortunately for this film, the script is quite nonsensical, positing Britain's own Prime Minister as the master villain of the piece, quite happy to sell out members of his own armed forces for the sake of a trade deal.

Had the villain been a junior minister with the ability to manipulate the system then it might have been more convincing, but giving the Prime Minister power to do this just makes it a laugh. It doesn't help that this film is entirely cheap without any action sequences in it whatsoever; in fact, when something does threaten to happen (such as the car scene with the two women), the film randomly cuts away to the aftermath. It's not totally bad, as one extended torture sequence is extremely gruelling, and a few familiar faces like Craig Fairbrass, Marina Sirtis, and John Rhys-Davies show up to pick up their pay cheques. The casting director has also gone out of his way to cast attractive actresses in support. In the end, though, 31 NORTH 62 EAST is simply a forgettable, occasionally ridiculous little thriller.

This is not Plan 9 from Outer Space bad, but the film does have problems although I have to admire the writer's and director's enthusiasm.

The film decides it wants to make a political point about illegal wars and the machinations of the New Labour type British Prime Minister. However instead of presenting us with a Tony Blair clone we have an over the hill John Rhys Davies playing a gruff Yorkshire PM. Gosh we have not had one of those for 40 years in the UK since Harold Wilson called it a day.

I realise Davies in real life is a right winger who probably frothed at the mouth of New Labour occupying Downing Street and introducing legislation such as Human Rights Act and the Minimum Wage. The problem is he is all wrong in the days when our leaders tend to be youngish Oxbridge types.

Also why pick on Blair? The Afghanistan and Iraq wars were voted by a majority of the politicians in the House of Commons and they decided to go to war based on the facts they had. It's the politicians own fault if they opted not to be more probing.

In fact why drag Iraq into it? As far as the plot is concerned it's set in Afghanistan, remember the place that was a training a ground for Al Qaeda that led to 9/11.

The nephew of an Arab king has been killed there. Little mention is made as to what he was doing in Afghanistan. It has to be assumed he was visiting a terrorist training ground. The British PM in order to safeguard a £80 billion (Yes that is supposedly an accurate figure) arms deal with the Arabs the British PM betrays the army unit that killed the nephew.

Strangely I cannot remember New Labour doing any such thing. Nevermind let's remember the films wants to critique illegal wars.

We then have a torture scene in Afghanistan which is slightly bizarre as to the torture methods used. It seems to consist of acupuncture. If you feature Afghans torturing a British servicewoman (which includes threats of rape and amputations) you are really going to get the viewers on your side with your anti illegal wars agenda aren't you!

Back to the film the servicewoman confesses that she is not a reporter but SAS. She is released and the PM in order to cover his tracks orders her to be killed by the Arabs. The Arabs in this film have an undercover group of busty Arabic assassins who pose as whores. (I cannot believe I have typed that!) One easy on the eye killer assassin has been tasked to carry out the deed.

Our servicewoman also happens to have a twin sister who decides to look into this further. It just happens to be convenient that a French outfit have been bugging the the Arabs, the PM and tells the twin sister about the dastardly deeds of the British government.

The twin kidnaps the PM's spin doctor (Marina Sirtis) and tortures her live on TV via some snake venom. The PM sends more people in to find the twin and also eliminate the spin doctor as she knows too much.

On the plus side the film has managed to fit several shots of cleavage. You would have thought in a past life the director made Carry On films. As far as politics is concerned it's naive to the extreme.

The plot is immensely silly and the low budget means that the PM is wandering around in a country house, the type that tends to be used in porno films which is probably the reason how they managed to acquire some of the busty ladies.

If ever there was a list of 100 terrible British films of modern times this would be a contender.

Thankfully there are a few familiar faces and the lead actress who plays twin sisters appeared in programs such as Waterloo Road.

Just very weakly executed for a movie. The premise for the story line is really excellent.A British PM selling out and SAS team for the benefit of an arms deal with some sheik whom, lost his son in the Iraq afghan war. But they have gone about it very poorly and half hardheartedly,sadly.

Too much stuff should've never made it into the final print,simply cause it's over selling it. There's a lot of back and forth between a twin sister and something.Part of it seem like it's a flashback to the past.(I never could quite make out what it was) John Rhys-Davies Is a bit over the top as British Prime minister,but still quite good. Heather peace seem a bit out of shape,she get winded real fast(Not sure if that's her character or her) .But she still deliver a good performance,with whats she got to work with. Some scenes could've been shorter in order to fasten the pace of the film

I would love to see a remake of this,cause the thriller aspect of the story is quite excellent.But it also touches on a very sensitive subject,which is why I think it's a low budget movie, instead of something bigger.