Heather Graham and Jennifer Coolidge in Come ti ammazzo l'ex (2009)

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Come ti ammazzo l'ex

Alex: [narrating] I got the house, the furniture, his unpaid bills. But Tom got all our friends.

Nikki: [to support group] So; what about you? Any one else here ever fuck a retard for a dress?
Marsha: [quiet pause] Yeah; I once let my husband put his penis in my anus for a Cartier necklace.

Nikki: We're exterminators.
Harmony: Ah. Don't you guys use chemicals for that?
Stella: No, actually you know, with everyone going green now, we came up with a more holistic approach.
Nikki: Just cuz you're gonna kill something, doesn't mean you have to harm the environment.

[first lines]
Interviewer: So, where do you want to begin?
Alex: Where things always begin. In bed.

Stella: I'm Stella and I use my car as a weapon.

Alex: You want me to drive?
Stella: Yeah, if you drive then I can drink.

Stella: [to Nikki] I want to take up smoking so I can have skin like yours.

Alex: I just did what anyone would do if they woke up and found a dead hooker in their bed. I called my friends.

[last lines]
Distraught Woman: He took everything. Even my credit card. Then I get this bill - he put her new boobs on my Visa!
Stella: [off to the side] You know, we're officially out of business.
Nikki: Yup, officially we are.
Stella: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Nikki: I follow you.
Stella, Nikki: [they march over to the distraught woman]

Nikki: Alex, please...
Stella: Oh, come on. Really Alex? We, we need you.
Alex: That's what every fixer loves to hear. That someone needs them.
Alex: [flash forward] I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just doing my job, ABC was my client. I was like Switzerland, or the military. Don't ask, don't tell. Right?

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