Horror Movie

Okay, it is quite horrible. Yet, despite the overall harsh criticisms found on here, it is nothing at all near being one of the worst movies I have ever seen - in my lifetime, this year, or even this month. Bad? Yes indeedy! But God Awful? Not quite(though perhaps closer than I am letting on to). Steve Howey plays Stan Helsing who works at a video store. Halloween night is here and Stan meets up with two incredibly hot girls and his buddy Kenan Thompson(you figure out which one is unlikely to be in that quartet in reality). Thankfully Kenan is there, because he has a few of the few laughs that are in this film(the others belonging to octogenarian and living legend Leslie Nielsen dressed as a hideous barmaid). It seems Stan is destined to live up to his ancestry and slay monsters - what monsters you may ask? Well, ridiculously and inept looking ones NOT from classic horror but from modern "classics"(I shudder even putting THAT in parentheses!) We get Pleatherface with a leaf blower and a line when he no longer has it, "It looks like no one will get blown tonight." Stop your sides from aching now with laughter. We get Chucky looking like a guy with painted x's and o's on his face. A Pinhead double from Hellraiser. Anf let's no forget the Michael Myers, Jason, and Fweddy doubles as well. All of these look so stupid and like someone from a fifth grade art class got to work on their wardrobe and costumes. There are other horror references and a story that defies logic - and explanation here for lack of need. Really, Stan Helsing is like Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Date Movie. It has a few laughs but not enough to even keep this lame crap afloat long at all. The humor is mostly adolescent and sophomoric with at least four references to bathrooms and all that great humor that comes from noises and the other fertile comedic ground that is inherent in feces and urine. Does the movie have any saving graces? Well, Kenan Thompson and good ole Leslie Nielsen are good some of the time. There are a few jokes that land roughly but in place. Then there are the female cast members who for the most part are very, very pleasant to look at like the three gals playing vampire strippers and Diora Baird and Desi Lydic as the two female leads. Neither can really act though Lydic has comedic potential. Baird has some fine assets to keep abreast of nonetheless. If you are looking for clever or witty humor, you must look elsewhere. If you have an IQ near that of a quasi-literate teen - you might think it is totally rad or some such feeling. Phewwww!

I'm going to say I like it. Don"t get me wrong its a bad movie but it doesn't mean its not enjoyable. Its not to much like Meet the Spartans or date movie were they parody scenes from the movie they parody and make them stupid. They did do that with the monsters by making them look like morons and give them really dumb names but beside that they do have some funny scenes and dialog. And they do try to make the a bit like the people they are base off of. Like when they use their weakness is like what fans made fun of the real people they copied. To defeat Freddy get rid of his glove. Pinhead push the nails in. The mask think with Jason and Myers is not their weakness but it showed how similar they are and that Jason was a ripoff of Myers. Leatherface wait till his chainsaw runs out of gas. And Chucky he is a doll. If you missed that then you have no business making fun of this movie. And the other main characters I thought was a good casting choice and they were really funny. Finally they didn't a a truck load of over the top reality breaking jokes. They have those but its more down played. I'm just saying rethink this one.

This is a good example of what happens when decent comic actors accept parts in a terrible movie vehicle. They probably need the work, so they do their best even if they can't hide that the movie stinks. For one, Kenan Thompson has a real comic flare, I only hope he gets better films to feature it in. And the other three leads showed comic potential too. I admit there were some genuinely funny moments that made me laugh, like the Karaoke scenes and some of the lines by the blond character (Desi Lydic). Unfortunately what comes between these few funny scenes, and makes up the majority of the film, was terrible. The over all film almost made me forget any of it had made me laugh. The bathroom humor, for instance, was just plain stupid.

And Leslie Neilson, what were you thinking doing this bomb? Hard to believe the same man who starred in classics like 'Forbidden Planet' has resorted to this for a pay check. He was funny in other comedy films, but why do this? My advice is to skip this one.

I think these guys don't even try anymore to make not a funny one, but even watchable movie anymore....

There is no need of spoilers or taking even a deeper look at this ''movie''. There is no plot not script no acting, nothing really present that this would qualify this as an actual movie.

When i sat down to see this movie i knew about what i was going to see. A cheap laugh. But as i realized i noticed that a actually barely smiled during the movie. I spend most of my time looking at my watch wandering when the movie is going to end. Anyway...

One hint to the producers...

STOP MAKING THIS TRASH ANYMORE. I am not an American, but i would personally be very offended if this kind of movies are supposed to reflect the cultural level of young American people.

It is Halloween; this is the time one should be watching Aspettando il Grande Cocomero (1966) or at worst Arsenico e vecchi merletti (1944). But no, you are about to choose "Stan Helsing" (2009).

Stan (Steve Howey) who is out to make a movie gets stranded in a sort of Halloween Twilight Zone. There they are confronted by all the biggest slashers of the time. Makes you want to up-Chucky unless you are a Freddy-defender. It can be mockingly funny.

You will need to be well versed in a plethora of movies to be aware of all the joke references. Some of the movies: Species: The Awakening (2007) Shutter (2008) King Kong (2005) The Notebook (2004) Freddy vs. Jason (2003) The Blair Witch Project (1999) The Sixth Sense (1999) Saving Private Ryan (1998) How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998) Titanic (1997) Stargate SG-1 (1997) Six Degrees of Separation (1993) Schindler's List (1993) The Hills Have Eyes (1977) The Last House on the Left (1972) The Munsters (1964) The Wolf Man (1941) Frankenstein (1931)

This is one of those movies that can go either way. I think that they tried too hard to be campy. Luckily Leslie Nielsen could pull off his character without breaking a sweat.