Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

There's really not much that needs to be said about this. If you've watched the Hatchet flicks, this is more of the same. If you expect to find ANY of the following, then you're in the WRONG place:

• well developed story
• Oscar caliber acting
• prophetic story telling and plot
• likeable & defined characters

Now...on the other hand, if you are looking for any of THESE, you're in the RIGHT place:

• schlocky indie horror,
• "teenage" nudity and gratuitous sex that has nothing to do with the story,
• "teenage" kids making asinine decisions, like going outside alone to check on why the lights just went out, or following a trail of blood (alone) while freaked out, or...well, you get the picture,
• tons of blood and gore via adequate fx,
• Bill Moseley,
• the cute-as-a-button Danielle Harris,
• 80ish minutes of completely mindless killing.

So come on folks. Stop giving this film bad reviews. 'Cause if you actually come in to this expecting more than it is, you should be the one receiving the bad review.

Long Island, NY, 1978: little Mary chops up her parents with an axe.

Eleven years later, and Mary, now a big breasted babe residing at Kings Park Psychiatric Centre, is raped by a night guard, resulting in the birth of a daughter nine months later. However, Mary is informed that her child died during delivery and, shortly after, she escapes leaving a trail of corpses behind her. Completely naked, covered in blood, and clutching a severed head, Mary is finally apprehended by the police, who shoot her dead.

Years later, the story of Mary Hatchet has become an local legend, the day of her death a public holiday during which teenagers get drunk and play pranks. But when a group of high school students go one step further and summon Mary's spirit with a Ouija board, Blood Night really lives up to its name...

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet was never intended to be anything but a mindless gore-fest with some quality T&A, and to that end it succeeds brilliantly, but it would have been nice to have seen just a little more effort go into the story. Had the makers tried a tad harder in the plot department, then this film might possibly have become an instant all-time favourite, rather than simply 'fun while it lasts'.

Still, 'fun while it lasts' is better than no fun at all, and at least this one fulfilled my immediate desire to see a bunch of good looking teens getting it on before being slaughtered in a variety of very gruesome ways. After quite a bit of partying hard and a bit of slap and tickle—best moments: a discussion about whether thongs are better than boyshorts, and a lucky guy getting broken in by total hottie Jen (Maryam Basir)—the graphic bloodletting begins and continues unabated until the final frame. Gory delights include a bloke having his head cut in half during sex, a girl having her guts wound out with a pick-axe, and a face being sliced in half (the victim's brains spilling onto the floor).

6.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 7 for all the boobs, buns and blood.

An honest review. As far as gore is concerned, pretty much every gag is a shot of blood spattering the wall (or something else), followed by dummy work. Often, the most basic moments misfire. There's a "door flying off the hinges" gag that is so poorly done I watched it a few times in slow motion to see if I missed something.

The performances are pretty bad. Bill Moseley is stuck reciting dialogue that Bruce Lee couldn't jiu-jitsu into something resembling human speech, and Danielle Harris seems genuinely bored to be in the picture. And we spend way too much time with the (not particularly interesting) characters. The entire second act is a trite, bloodless party scene (save for a corny flashback).

Kind of garden variety if you ask me. If you like bad movies, you may find some novelty. But it's certainly not one of the better slashers.

• Saintthomas1985 (check out all my reviews!!!)

parricidal Mary Mattock (Samantha Facchi) is constrained at sanatorium for much of her growing years – catatonic until one traumatic experience makes her go loony again, slaughtering the hospital staff and killed in process by police.

After 20-years, the psychotic Mary 'Hatchet' has turn into an urban legend. High-school seniors commemorate Mary's death as blood night - partying and reveling all over the town.

The night celebration will soon transforms into unbridled terror for one group of friends.

Abundant of nudity & sexy shots smooth over the dull parts before the killings starts. Nifty gore effects considering the modest budget.

Debuting writer-director Frank Sabatella has an eye for bloodletting (one victim's innards is 'spaghetti-zed') but lacks experience in other departments.

The teen-horror movie has definitely been done to death, if you excuse the pun, and this is one of the poorer ones. It comes across as lazy. A movie made for the sake of making a movie. Pretty much everything about it was really quite poor: acting, dialogue, effects... yeah. Everything.

Positives, positives, positives.... well, the Graveyard Gus character was a nice reference to Crazy Ralph from Friday the 13th... apart from that, the sound effect when a girl goes down on a boy was quite amusing. I can only imagine they recorded someone angrily drinking a pint of milk and used that. Oh, and the naked dead girl had nice boobs. Please don't think that these are good reasons to watch this though, because they're not.