Camp Blood 8: Revelations

Okay, so truly appreciate the majestic horror of Camp Blood 8 you really need to see numbers 1-7.

Just kidding... I don't even know if there is a 1-7, but if there is I would fully expect them to be much the same as 8... schlock, pure and simple. Terrible acting, effects, plot, cinematography, lighting, costumes, sound effects, characters, really badly done gore, cheap boob shots in the spirit of pure exploitation, all set in run of the mill roadside green strips and living rooms... a truly B-Grade flick all the way. But that is completely what it sets out to be, so even as I give it a generous 2 rating as a movie experience, if you want a truly terrible B Grade flick (which to be honest is what I expected when I watched it... I mean come on... CAMP BLOOD... 8???), then you might give it a 5 for what it is.

As a trash B title it deserves a 5, I suppose. It isn't uproariously funny but it is ridiculous enough to be worth a laugh here and there... often for more unintentional reasons that intended ones. Even for B movie fans this one might be too much of a weak showing, but different strokes for different folks as the saying goes. Maybe it is the B flick for you. If you are looking for a good movie, though, steer far away from it. But I am sure I don't have to tell you that though.

I mean come on... CAMP BLOOD... 8???

I'm assuming that the director of this pile of garbage has REALLY BAD issues in his life that no amount of therapy will cure. This heap isn't even worth the electricity that powered my television set. LUCKILY (well...I don't consider myself LUCKY to have seen this "movie") but I saw it for FREE...and even FREE is WAYYYYYY TO HIGH of a price to pay to see this swill of a movie. Someone on here said not even SO BAD IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD??? Even describing it THAT WAY makes it sound way too good. I'm REALLY NOT KIDDING HERE...this "movie" will completely waste precious time from your valuable life. Walk FAR AWAY from this one,and don't look back!

Toodles.

If you expect nothing and you will get what you want

This is even worse than Curse of Pirate Death. Or maybe not, I'm not sure, actually. But, yeah - okay - it's even worse: 1) it's more generic (Pirate Death at least had some kind of a novelty aspect to it - for a D grade slasher: the killer was a pirate, or the ghost of a pirate, or whatever he was. This killer is a combination of not one, but two worn-out tropes: killer clown and camp haunting maniac (with serious mommy issues). And 2) this movie was made more than a decade after Pirate Death. Our man Dennis really should have learned a thing or two in the meantime.

However, I would like to point out one thing (in defense, as it were, of Dennis Devine): some people (including a couple of YouTubers who make money from ridiculing crap movies) seemingly think that this movie was just randomly "added" to a non-existing series (as in: it was done for laughs). This is - of course - not the case. There is a "Camp Blood" series of (very bad) horror flicks, and I actually think Devine was approached (by someone, God knows who) to do the 8th installment in said series.

So, that part is legit - so to speak. But the bottom line is: this movie is extremely bad and - like Pirate Death - not redeemed in any shape or form by being "camp" or "so bad it's good". It's just extremely shabby handiwork on all levels. Made in five minutes - and...just WHY?

I'm genuinely intrigued by this. How does it actually work? Who paid for this - and did they get their money back? I'm kinda thinking that...yes, perhaps they actually did. I mean, it doesn't make any sense that a film maker like Dennis Devine keeps going for decades, largely churning out insanely bad movies that make zero profit...and nobody notices. Surely, his movies must somehow turn a profit (for someone). Obviously not a large profit (that seems impossible), but still: a profit.

From the opening scene of hotties attempting to play volleyball backed with the amazing song called "Kill yourself" by the Lobotomommies to the end credits with a even greater Lobotomommies classic "New Moon" ( a song about moon cheese, moon gerbils, Richard Gere and learning to do the moon wiggle and moon boogie which are two different dances) it is nonstop, pure unadulterated, cinema genius.

The acting was on point especially from Emilyrose Morris whose bubbly, energetic portrayal of Brandy was instantly likable and infatuating. Rowan Denis did a great job as a aspiring stand up comedian/part time volleyballer and had some killer jokes, Laura Dromerick's song about Sally Mullins mammaries was lyrical gold.

M. Night Shyamalan could take a few lessons from the original and dare I say shocking twists and turns this beautifully written Shakespearean-esk play takes us along.

I am ashamed to admit I haven't seen the whole series, but if they are anything like this masterpiece I am definitely in for a treat.